A list of puns related to "Golf Rude"
Context: I am home visiting family, and there isnβt much privacy to be had in the home. Iβm worried that my family will overhear me, or that my younger siblings will be loud and interrupt my focus during the session. Alternatively, I can go play a round of golf (by myself) where I can be outdoors with total privacy. Also, I believe I would focus much better than having family in the house, even tho Iβll be playing golf (Iβm not great, and only play for enjoyment purposes so it wouldnβt be super distracting).
I want to avoid my therapist thinking Iβm only half-minded in our session, or being rude.
Thanks for any input!
So a couple of years ago I had a summer job at a pretty nice golf course. I split my time between helping members out with their bags/cleaning clubs/storing them, and working behind the register in the pro shop.
There was always this one really rude older lady who was always condescending when she talked to me and instead of asking me to do things, she ordered me to do them, and while they arenβt mandatory, she never tipped either. I always put up with it because it wasnβt my place to get involved.
Fast forward to this week, itβs opening day, and I now have a better job and as a result, a membership at the same club. As Iβm loading my own bag onto my cart to go out and play my first round of the year, lo and behold this lady steps out of her SUV and starts waddling toward me.
I immediately knew she was about to ask me to get her clubs and Iβd be lying if I said I didnβt get a bit excited about the opportunity to finally fire back.
βHey you! Get my clubs on a cart! Iβm going to play nine.β
I told her very calmly that I no longer worked at the club.
She basically replied with βI donβt care! You will load my clubs onto the cart or Iβll speak with the pro!β
I told her to go right ahead and she marched into the pro shop. A few minutes later, her and the pro walk out and he notices itβs me and tells her that I donβt work at the club anymore. At this point she is fuming: βWell then who is going to load my clubs onto the cart?!β
The pro walked over and helped her out with her clubs and as she was walking past, she mumbled something at me under her breath and gave me a nasty look.
Then the pro made it all worth it when he stopped her and said βListen, I understand the confusion and I know you have been a member here for a long time, but OP is also a member here and you cannot treat other members like that.β
If anyone else has been in such a situation, you would know how good it feels to hear something like that. Long story short, she didnβt say another word.
Me (28M) and Becca (27F) have been together about 2 years. Sheβs in the process of getting her CRNA. She works at a hospital in the meantime. I work in finance and have a pretty steady job that I like. Weβve lived together the past year and split things 50/50, along with having our own separate accounts. During Covid Becca lost a bunch of shifts and was having a hard time paying for school along with the bills. Her laptop broke and she couldnβt do school without it. She asked for help and I told her I didnβt like loaning money out, but I knew she needed these things. So I stepped up and paid for a new laptop, a few bills and a couple repairs she needed for her car. She knew this was a loan and she would need to pay it back. Iβm very fiscally organized and have little funds set up for things (vacation fund, going-out fund, golfing fund etc). I decided to use my golf fund for this but explained to Becca that I planned on getting new clubs this year and needed to be paid back by the start of golf season. To establish a timeline, I paid for her things in august and was expecting to be paid by February as that was when golf season starts around here. It wasnβt an absurd amount of money, less than $1,500.
Well sheβs hardly paid anything back. At first she made a couple βpaymentsβ. But this would just be her giving me $15 in cash and saying βuse this towards my debtβ. I started an excel sheet to track anything she gave me so I knew how much she still owed. She found this to be offensive saying it was like I was βbabysittingβ her. I said that it wasnβt to be rude but just to track it so there wasnβt any arguments about it. Iβve sat her down multiple times to say that I needed to see some bigger more consistent payments being made because I needed to custom order my clubs and that takes months. And that I couldnβt order my clubs until I knew I had enough in my fund to pay for them. She kept saying that she understood and that she would make the payments. She made a few larger payments but is still a grand short. What really ticks me off is becca still goes out to eat all the time, goes shopping, buys things for our house. But whenever I mention the debt she changes the subject saying βsheβs working on itβ. I finally snapped last weekend and told Becca Iβm putting her on a payment plan. That I would breakdown the rest of her debt into weekly payments and would Venmo request the amount every week till Iβm paid back. And that I would have to use another fund to pay
... keep reading on reddit β‘I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Unless you have a near perfect swing that only a golf pro or high-level coach would be able to pick apart, posting for swing help here is literally useless.
Who cares if someone posted a swing like Charles fucking Barkley and was looking for help? It is fucking GOLF. The most frustrating and agonizingly difficult sport in the fucking WORLD. And the shitbags here KNOW that because once upon a time, they sucked shit and were desperate for help too! I mean Jesus Christ man, what is the conceited and prideful blockage that some golfers have on here that drives them to not only ignore help request, but to go out of there way to not do so and also put down another golfer in the process.
Man, I just donβt fucking get it. Why comment useless and rude shit to someone looking for help? Why push people away from the game by doing stupid insecure shit like that instead of bring more people in to enjoy? Fuck man. Shit makes my blood boil. I get way too worked up about this lmao but I had to put it in writing.
Basically, we all suck - stop trying to convince yourself you suck less and instead help other people who suck more, suck less.
I am in love with that last paragraph there.
Cheers and fuck all you insecure-Reddit-golf-boys and your $7,000 clubs
Do your worst!
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
My buddy Danny doesnβt drink.
Which is ironic, because we met him at a bar. The three of us, Nate, myself, and Jeremy, were out celebrating Jeremyβs upcoming wedding for his bachelor party. We drank (a lot) and ended up befriending Danny. He stuck with us that night. Even fell and hit his head on a bar stool at some point, so we helped him get home. Somehow we all ended up with each others phone numbers, and Danny was invited along to future nights out.
We all mesh pretty well, but our frequent meet ups are at bars to drink and hang out. Danny happily comes along, but always orders non-alcoholic drinks or water. The first few times, we all ignored it because we still didnβt really know him and it would be rude to ask.
So, we rolled with it.
After almost a year of hanging out at least once a month, Jeremy finally worked up the nerve to ask. I remember the conversation really well. We were at another bar, with a relatively quiet song playing, so it was a good chance for conversation you didnβt need to yell to engage in.
Jeremy popped the question abruptly.
βWhy donβt you drink?β
Danny looked surprised at the sudden question, then looked down, ashamed.
Nate kicked Jeremy under the table before I could.
βYou donβt haveββ I started, but Danny looked up.
βI... donβt do well when Iβm... drunk,β he claimed. The vague answer made us all even more curious.
βLike... you get angry or?β Jeremy was bold enough to push, despite glares from Nate and I.
βMore like... sure, weβll go with angry,β Danny replied, again with the vagueness.
We all fell silent, feeling awkward at the lack of engagement to the probing questions.
βOkay,β Danny sighed, setting his elbows on the table. βStory time.β
βIn college, I had my second ever drink of alcohol. The first time was in high school and I didnβt like the beer Iβd grabbed, so I didnβt try again until college. So I decided to push past the taste and really down a good amount of alcohol. Weβre talking several shots and cans of beer.β
He paused to pick up a pretzel and crunch on it.
βI donβt remember what happened that night. Next thing I knew, I was in my dorm with three broken ribs, a missing tooth, and a patch of hair ripped out.β
βShit,β Nate uttered.
Danny smiled and nodded slightly.
βI asked around, trying to figure out what had happened. The stories were mixed, probably because everyone else was wasted too. But one kid, who I knew was too cautious to get anywhere near the shots, told me what I think is t
... keep reading on reddit β‘For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
It really does, I swear!
A few thoughts/notes I scribbled after another rewatch through 8. Please share your thoughts or point out any inaccuracies.
A. Parents - In 2021, Natalie is the only one who has come in contact with her actual parents, this feels interesting. So far we know of Natalie's mom and Jackie's parents post-wilderness, but no others have come around. Tai's mom and dad? Shauna's parents? Misty's parents? If your kid goes through this at 16/17, just feels like you're sticking around.
B. Money - Natalie clearly is doing well financially - she was paying for that storage unit for 10+ years, she is staying (albeit not nice, but still) at a motel every day, wears designer clothes. Why is her mom still in the same mobile home? Tai also has money (she does mention taking a paycut to run for office, so was a successful lawyer), but whether hers is self-made or from the lawsuit who knows. BUT then there is Shauna complaining about a $60 Uber - where is her money? And Misty, tbd she could have money but still work and live modestly bc it's Misty.
Other Random Thoughts
C. When Misty calls to tell Shauna that Travis died, Shauna doesn't ask how or when
D. What was the significance of "young Jackie" telling 2021 Shauna that someone was going to get hurt before jumping off bridge with Adam - this felt weird since Jackie doesn't seem like Shauna's "voice of reason" in 1996
E. The Motel Scene in Ep. 8 - Just a few things
I feel like turf really helps correct a lot that can happen out on the course. I personally hate hitting off turf and find it to be rough on my clubs as well. Every lie is perfect, which is super unrealistic. I also find a ton of new golfers have trouble with hitting the ball fat and the turf artificially hides this as well. What's y'alls thoughts on turf? Is it just often the only thing available?
Edit: apologies for the misuse of "turf" kindly officially read "turf" as "mats"
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Oh, do you guys remember Game Grumps? They were huge back in the seventies. I followed their entire career up to this point.
The band was formed by Jon, the main vocalist, and Arin, the lead guitar. After a while, Barry the bassist joined the band as well. That was the first phase, and man what a phase it was.
This first phase consists of their initial three albums, their debut, entitled simply "Game Grumps" which happens to be my favorite, has so many fantastical songs like Goof Troop or Megaman 7, which all ended up being pretty huge among their fans. My favorite from this album, perhaps their entire catalog, was Pokemon Emerald, but really, any of these songs could easily snatch that spot. There were a few hidden gems here that are totally worth your time like Alladin For The SNES and Donkey Kong.
I could say they came out on top with that debut and that they would never match it, but it just so happens that their next album "It's no use" became huge, it kinda brought them on the map, especially with the ridiculously long side-A track, Sonic 06, which still remains as one of their most beloved tracks out there, that is, for the OG fans. I still prefer the first album though, I think that side-B on their second album is kinda weak in comparison with the first album, which was all golden.
Their third album, while still amazing, did not live up to the hype of the first two. It still contained amazing tracks like Chulip and Glover, but none of the tracks measured up to the first two. I mean, it isn't without surprise, there were talks back then that Jon was looking into a solo career and you can feel that through the recording. Suspicions were confirmed because Jon did eventually leave, he got replaced by another vocalist, Dan.
What I loved about this first era is that their sound seemed different from the other bands at the time, they were very progressive sounding, which made it kinda niche, y'know? There were still hits, sure, but they had this edge. The blend between prog and hard rock jived together amazingly. Jon had these wild high-pitched wails, it wasn't like anything I've heard before, he was just exuding energy. Arin was no second spot to Jon either, he would eventually break out into these awesome, elegant solos. Unlike other guitarists nowadays, his playing was subdued, that's what made his playing so memorable.
What's most coincidental is that when Danny joined, it was the very end of the decade, thus turning a page for the band into the
... keep reading on reddit β‘Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
But thatβs comparing apples to oranges
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
Longtime lurker, with my very first reddit post
Iβve been visiting and reading this sub for long enough to see the mood of the other posters, like mine, is very dark indeed. Many of us feel hopeless, trapped, exploited and helpless.
We can see the system slowly grinding down towards failure and compromising the care patients have a right to expect. At the same time I feel that medicine no longer really offers me the kind of life we see our older colleagues (rightly) expect as the standard for senior professionals. I donβt feel like a young man at the start of a flourishing and prosperous professional career, the world my oyster. I feel like a schmuck, tied to a failing organisation, with Β£60k of usurious debt, and a future of below inflation pay rises stretching out forever.
The situation at the moment seems very hopeless; demand is rising inexorably with the ageing population. There appears to be no political will to make the large sacrifices that an adequately funded NHS would require over the longer term. So the budget will get squeezed β and the largest part of the budget that can be squeezed is staffing costs.
I think its worth looking deeper into why the scenario above, one very familiar to us all, looks so inevitable. After all, we are all professionals in a shortage occupation, in a field with enormous growth ahead of it; why arenβt these golden years to be a medic?
The key to this is in the failure of the price mechanism in the public sector. The iron law of economics is that high demand = high prices. As there is so much demand everyone is bidding up the price of the good β and this high price signals to producers that there is an unmet need, ultimately leading to higher output. The price of something is a finely calibrated communication leading to the correct amount of output of a good. The relevance of this to medical labour should be clear. So why am I driving my Nanβs 20 year old golf and not a nice Jag?
By contrast, in the public sector, rising demand pushes up against the wall of the budget; if the budget has no room to grow, then the demand leads the organisational bureaucracy to try and squeeze down the price to stretch the budget further. You can see how the price mechanism goes into reverse. Ultimately this is self-defeating β no-one becomes willing to sell the good, or their labour. This is one of the fundamental reasons planned economies fail; without the automatic signal of a free-floating price then even well planned, ration
... keep reading on reddit β‘BamBOO!
Theyβre on standbi
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