A mean crook going down stairs =

A condescending con, descending.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I cut down a Christmas tree today. My wife asked me if I was going to put it up myself.

I said: β€œOf course not. I was going to put it up in the living room.”

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear Santa got really sick from going down the chimney?

Yeah, they think he caught the flue.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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Somebody get the Captain! There’s been a hull breach! We’re going down!

Oh sorry, wrong sub

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roku-Hanmar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Shit is going down... imgur.com/1jTkIBf
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djeclipz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard once that going down a hill, a bloke tripped with a coffin, and dropped it

He went into a chemist, and said, β€˜I need something to stop my coffin’

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pizzatron574
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My son did not watch were he was going and slammed faced down on hard surface

It was his own asphalt

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PLUMBUM2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What is going through carwash with windows down and dog in back seat?

Carpet cleaning

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A couple of weeks ago my dad was taking us on a camping trip preceeded by a two hour drive, so a minute before we were going to leave the house he sat me and my brother down and told us:

Speak now or forever hold your pee

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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Disney isn't going to die and go out of business even though they completely shut down operations and didn't produce anything for three months.

They just suspended animation.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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I had an employee at the hotel that ironed the bed sheets. I noticed that as the days wore on, the number of sheets ironed was going down.

Her job performance was de-creasing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
When your soy bread prices keep going up and down

sigh new soy dough...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MolzeNightshade
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does the Sun insist on going down at the end of the day?

It's set in its ways

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RCRadioCarbon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snobby criminal going down the stairs? reddit.com/r/dadjokes/com…
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sneaky criminal going down a staircase?

A condescending con descending.

Edit: β€œsnarky” not sneaky :)

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eggiestnoodle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Mom: I'm going to run down to my cousin's house. She needs to borrow the car.

Dad: If she needs the car, maybe you should drive there.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikesanerd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2015
🚨︎ report
Chow down on the food that’s served, you’re going to get a good dessert
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/91lightning
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife said, "Did you know a bunch of cows lying down means it's going to rain?"

I replied, "Their legs must get really tired during a drought."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drjohnson89
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad's company, "Unclog", is going down the toilet.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
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Going down the highway today I saw a sign that said "test message"

How in the world do they expect me to have time to test it when I'm going past at 60 mph?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RavenclawMuggle
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
🚨︎ report
"I want a tattoo going down my spine, but I'll let you do anything you want," my son told the tattoo man. The tattoo man agreed to it and ended up tattooing an enormous gun my son's his spine.

Well, I guess that backfired.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
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Broken down car is not going any PhurThr...
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HolyNoodle66
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2017
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I never know when I start dancing whether I'm going to drop down and do my signature move.

It's a split decision.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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In the abandoned building down the street from "Tailor Swift" I'm going to open a sketchy-looking alteration service...

called Seams Legit.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegodawfultruth
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2016
🚨︎ report
This is a family favorite. My grandpa got pulled over going the wrong way down a one way street.

The cop goes, "This is a one way street!"

My grandpa replies, "How many ways was I going?"

πŸ‘︎ 223
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mellowde
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2014
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So I was going to write something down, but my friend brought me an unsharpened pencil.

I told him that the pencil he brought was pointless!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/THEchubbypancakes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2017
🚨︎ report
I'm going to write down the first idea that comes to mind and get on a treadmill

And just run with it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clickclickonsal
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con, descending.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WatchOutItsAdam
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down stairs?

A condescending con descending.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending!

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Khadau
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I cut down a Christmas tree today. My wife asked me if I was going to put it up myself.

I said: β€œOf course not. I was going to put it up in the living room.”

πŸ‘︎ 113
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mark30322
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snobby criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

πŸ‘︎ 197
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandi-ela
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snobish criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/odrincrystell
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/asholes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a self-centered criminal going down a flight of stairs?

A condescending con descending

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Sheev
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
🚨︎ report
A mean crook yelled at me while going down stairs. He was a condescending con, descending.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Farbegn
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snobby criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Benevolent_Sinner
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a criminal going down stairs?

Condescending

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhyThisJorgal
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snobbish thief going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliTheGreat101
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Why does santa not like going down the chimney?

Because Santa is CLAUS-trophobic

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squeezer999
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down stairs?

A condescending con descending

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnysmart
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snarky criminal going down stairs?

A condescending con descending

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bobby_849
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
🚨︎ report
I got pulled over by a cop for going down the wrong way down a one way street...

He said "sir,do you realise this is a one way street?"

I said "but officer, I was only going one way."

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/balloonman_magee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down a flight of stairs?

A condescending con descending.

πŸ‘︎ 146
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnOwlOfSorts
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you call an arrogant criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Krosenoise
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2016
🚨︎ report

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