There's only one thing girls want. It starts with a P and ends in an S.
Why do archaeologists get all the girls?
Because they have the best dating techniques
How do you get a country girl’s attention?
How can I ask a girl to be my friend and avoid a relationship without being weird?
How Can you tell if a girl is ticklish or not ?
You give her a couple test tickles.
Why do teenage girls walk in groups of 3, 5, and 7?
Because they literally can’t even.
Told this girl I missed her, and she replied with "ohh". Guys, what zone is this?
Met a girl in the pub last night who said she'd show me a good time...
Got outside and she ran 100m in 9.72 seconds
I broke up with a girl that had 2 lazy eyes.
We just couldn’t see eye to eye. Also, I think she was seeing someone on the side.
I met a girl with 12 breasts. Seems strange.
My brother is dating a girl called Rosemary...
I don't know what he season her
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye...
I had to break up with her because I was always worried she was seeing someone on the side.
Why was the teenage girl dancing with a jar?
What’s the one thing a teenage girl can’t do?
What kinda girls do terrorists love?
I got a call from that vegetarian girl again today.
You know, Rebecca? I know I’ve told you about herbivore.
I was living on a house boat and fell in love with the Girl Next Door.
But Sadly, we drifted apart.
I once dated an isis girl,
I once dated a communist girl but I realised it was a mistake when she invited me over.
There were red flags everywhere!
My sister gave birth to twins. A boy and a girl.
She rang me up and told me she had a boy and a girl. She asked me for ideas on names. My sister asked, what's a good name for the girl?
I replied, Denise!
Aww that's a good name my sister said. What about the boy?
I replied, Danephew
My friend with a wooden eye was always shy around girls. Last week he met a girl with a wooden leg and finally felt confident and asked her, "Will you go to the dance with me?"
She replied, "Would I?"
He responded, "Fine! Peg leg, I'll go with somebody else!"
A girl I used to date claimed my beard was fake.
But that was a bald-faced lie.
How did the farm boy get the girl?
I went out with girl named plutonium once.
She was kind of heavy. We got along ok. But her anger is explosive. Under stress, she's not very stable
I just met a very upset girl who swears that the covid vaccine caused her to become magnetic...
I think it just made her more attractive
What did the drummer dad name his twin girls?
Help me come up with a collective name for four girls born in 2021
Fellow purveyors of puns and dad jokes - I need your help! My extended family had four daughters born in 2021, and I'm trying to come up with a name to describe them collectively. Below are my best attempts so far, though I'm not loving them. Can you think of anything better - preferably not Covid related?
The Pandemic Princesses
The Lockdown Ladies
The Quarantine Queens
I had a relationship with a girl who worked in a camera factory
But it never really developed
How do you win over a country girl?
A girl named madi said she loved dad jokes…
Me: Would you be happy if you lost an eye?
Her: Idk. Maybe
Me: I’m so dumb. Of course you’d be Mad if you lost an eye.
Her: immediately unmatches me
Talking baby names with the girlfriend, "what about Noah for a girl", she said, "Hey, whatever floats your boat", I replied.
I received a few jabs in the ribs for that one.
P.s. We aren't expecting, just being sickly.
What did the Mexican girl say when two houses fell on her?
My twin girls were just born and I'm so happy. The first born is Kate. Do you know what I named the second born?
Boy cheats on Girl. Angered by this, Girl throws bread at Boy.
Why did the Uptown Girl break up with the Backstreet Boy?
Because she didn’t want it that way.
Why can’t a girl ask her brother for help?
Because he can’t be a brother and assist her too!
I met a rich girl who was trapped in an elevator on the 100th floor...
Help me come up with a collective name for four girls born in 2021
Fellow purveyors of puns and dad jokes - I need your help! My extended family had four daughters born in 2021, and I'm trying to come up with a name to describe them collectively. Below are my best attempts so far, though I'm not loving them. Can you think of anything better - preferably not Covid related?
The Pandemic Princesses
The Lockdown Ladies
The Quarantine Queens
How do you get a country girl's attention?
Why do teenage girls only walk in groups of odd numbers?
Because they literally can’t even.
What did the drummer Dad call his twin girls?
Does anyone know why girls travel in groups of 3, 5 or 7?
They literally can’t even
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