Cap’n Crunch and Tony the Tiger are getting married next month.

Don’t laugh, this is cereal.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StankleyTucci
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I saw a pair of watermelons getting married

It was a pretty big wedding. As it turns out, melons cantaloupe.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
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Why do women like getting married?

It has a nice ring to it.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Suschbach
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
If any one on this sub is thinking of getting married soon, please consider this carefully.

On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.

On the other hand, you don’t.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
After getting married, the woman filed for divorce the very next morning...........

Judge: "I don't understand, what happened?"

Woman: "I work in a pharmacy. I met him when he first came there last week and asked to purchase an X-X-X-X-L condom. That's when I thought, for a happy pleasureful life, I should get him to marry me before any other girls find out and lap him up."

Judge: "ok.... then? "

Woman: "I held my excitement all day thru the wedding, waiting for the night..... so at night when I my curiosity couldn't wait any longer........I found out something."

Judge: "what?"

Woman: "the Bastard has speech disorder.... he STAMMERS!!"

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball5deeper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Iron man is getting married

His welding is tomorrow and it’s with a fe-male. Apparently he was steel a bachelor and Tonys Spark led to an impromptu proposal and welding.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ssigea
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I've got a friend who is an owl, and the other day he told me he's getting married....

So I said, you twit to who?

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Padders_69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I got kicked out of school for getting married.

I was going for my bachelor’s degree.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobskimo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the shark say before getting married?

Yes I do, do do do do do do!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ready373
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
If any one on this sub is thinking of getting married soon, please consider this carefully /r/Jokes/comments/fwlvjr/…
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vpetrychuk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why Don't Roofers Like Getting Married?

Because they prefer the shingle life!

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAmXChris
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
before getting married

before getting married people must sleep without socks a lot

I see a bunch of them getting cold feet

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xcessivehunter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
The letters W and Z were getting married, and they invited all the other letters to their wedding...

The only ones who didn't respond were the letters T, X and Y.

So W and Z ordered 23 catered meals: 2 for them and 21 for their guests.

The wedding was great, but there was trouble at the reception. The letter T came, even though she didn't RSVP.

When the meals were being passed out, the chef served the groom (W) and bride (Z) first, then asked everyone else to line up alphabetically to come get their prepared plates. As the last two letters approached the chef, he said "there must be a mistake. I only have one meal left." Just then, T grabbed the last meal, and rudely said to the other letter "Sucks to be U."

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend said we aren't getting married until she has a pear shape

It's the reason we cantaloupe

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingLevance
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I've fallen in love with a pencil and we're getting married

I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ravireads
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when people are getting married in the International Space Station?

Tying the astroknot.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/salmonellatuna
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My sister is getting married soon.... imgur.com/AV9qcly
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bearseph
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call the bachelorette party of a British girl getting married to an Indian guy?

a Hindu

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A dad's only daughter was getting married.

As he was about to walk her down the aisle, she turned to him, wiped away a tear, and said, "Can you believe this day has come?"

The dad turned to his daughter and said, "I always knew this day would come, but I never thought you'd get married on it."

πŸ‘︎ 217
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πŸ‘€︎ u/schmooby
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2016
🚨︎ report
Did you here about the 2 antenna towers getting married?

The ceremony was ok, but the reception was great!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
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What kind of fruit has a hard time getting married?

A cantaloupe.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChingChangChui
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad's response when I told him two friends of mine named Rachel were getting married.

He said "I'm not in favor of that" I asked "I thought you supported same sex marriage" He said:

"I do, I'm against inter-Rachel marriages"

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marycartlizer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2015
🚨︎ report
Hey all! I'm getting married in September and a part of our Friday night dinner theme are dad jokes. Hit me with your best ones, please!

Like the title says. We're having a large backyard style dinner on the Friday night before our wedding, it's called "Dinner, Drinks, and Dad Jokes". So...we need lots of dad jokes to tell all of our guests. If you would be so kind, hit me with some of your favorite dad jokes!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jplopinyourpants
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2016
🚨︎ report
LA Dodger Ryu Hyun Jin is getting married to announcer Bae Ji Hyun!

No word yet on where the couple will be spending their hyunymoon.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thehofstetter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2017
🚨︎ report
Why was the bodybuilder always getting married?

Because he was a proposer!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigdongately
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2013
🚨︎ report
They say that getting married as a women is like being put on a witness protection programme

The bride gets a new name and a dress.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2017
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My wife's cousin is getting married

Her cousin is marrying a guy named Dee. Last night I had a sudden realization and had to point out something about that weekend.

"So I just realized. After the wedding, your cousin's going to be getting plenty of Dee's nuts."

Now I'm going to have to spend that entire weekend avoiding making that joke at the wedding.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unstablereality
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2016
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the honeydew and pineapple who tried getting married?

The court said they cant-eloupe

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/malgoya
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2016
🚨︎ report
Getting Married

"Daddy," a little boy asked his father.
"How much does it cost to get married?"

"I don't know," replied the father, "I'm still paying for it."

(Joke sponsored by Al Tebehalah's Discount Lobotomies)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlTebehalah
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2015
🚨︎ report
My friend, who is getting married on December, seems to be practicing for when he becomes a dad

We were at the beach yesterday and I see an area that says "Emergency Ramp". However, there was no ramp in that area so I say: "I didn't see the ramp".

His reply: "But did you see the emergency?"

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/plasmastar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2014
🚨︎ report
Anytime someone is getting married.

DAD: Make sure you treat her right. I really screwed things up with my first wife.

PERSON: I didn't know you were married before Lily (his current wife).

DAD: I wasn't thats who i'm talking about.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WineEmDineEM
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2014
🚨︎ report
If you’re getting married consider the following...

...on one hand, you wear a super cool ring, on the other hand, you don’t

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B-oT-w-GoD
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
In case you’re thinking about getting married, consider this carefullyβ€”-on the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.

On the other hand, you don’t.

πŸ‘︎ 139
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
In case you’re thinking about getting married, consider this carefullyβ€”-on the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.

On the other hand, you don’t.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
If any of you single *fellas here are thinking of getting married, consider the following before you do:

On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.

On the other hand, you don’t.

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drewfussss
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
For people on this sub who are thinking of getting married, consider this carefully before you do.

On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.

On the other hand, you don’t.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Always think very carefully before getting married. On one hand you get to wear a cool ring, and on the other you don’t.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CHEEZY_21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
In case you’re thinking about getting married, consider this carefullyβ€”-on the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.

On the other hand, you don’t.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Girlfriend: How do you feel about getting married?

Me: It has a nice ring to it!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TexDoxy
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report

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