Get Well Card Puns

Son: Dad, I turn 16 in a few months and would really like a car for my birthday.

Father: Well son, I’ll make a deal with you. If you do three things for me, I’ll get you the car. First, you need to improve your grades. Second, I want you to see you in church every Sunday. And finally, I want you to cut your long hair.

A FEW MONTHS PASS

Son: Dad, next week is my birthday and I’ve done everything you asked. Can I get a car?

Father: I did notice you got straight A’s on your report card and I’ve seen you at church every Sunday. But you didn’t cut you hair. I told you to cut your hair.

Son: I wanted to talk to you about that. In bible study I learned that Moses, John the Baptist, and Jesus all had long hair.

Father: Yes they did. And they walked everywhere they went.

… u/ebkbk for this post: Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes

[also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes]

Let's move on to the top 3 of each month:

January:

1. Is this sub still active? by u/I_Fart_Liquids on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes

2. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes

3. An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes

February:

1. Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes

2. My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit... by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes

3. When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes

March:

1. I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... by u/madazzahatter on 21.03. for 22.2k upvotes

2. Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes.

3. [When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.](https://www.reddit.com/r/da

I am planning to send him a Get Well Soon Card.

Hi guys, I have a friend who has recently has surgery on her back to remove some cysts. I'm going to give her a get well card and I want to put as many back/cyst/surgery/recovery/etc. related puns or general sayings as I can for a goofy card that will hopefully give her some chuckles.

E.g. "You're like a CYSTer to me", "Hope you get BACK to being well soon", "You've been through enough PUNishment". Etc.

Help me Reddit you're my only hope. :)

.. she said “yes of course”, “great!” I said, “can I exchange this ‘get well soon’ card for a bereavement card?”

(My Dad just laid this one on me)

So I sent them a 'Get well' card.

I need your help coiming up with something to write on a get well card for a dog who had eye surgery.

They get to the register, and comes the time that he's gotta use his debit card.

Clerk: You can swipe it now.

Father: Well, I thought I'd just pay for it.

Playing a game called Hand and Foot where you have a group of cards called your foot.

Dad "Are you on your foot yet?

Me "No I'm on my chair"

Dad [unamused] "Well get on your foot"

Me stands up on 1 foot

I've sent him a Get Well Soon card.

So, I sent him a 'Get Well Soon' card.

So I sent him a "get well soon" card

So I sent him a ‘Get Well Soon!’ card.

I sent him a “get well soon” card.

I sent him a “Get well soon” card

I sent him a “Get well soon” card

So I sent him a “get well soon” card.

EDIT: HOLY my first award! Thankyou stranger!

So I got him a card that says "get well soon"

So I sent him a "get well soon" card.

So I sent him a get well soon card

So I sent him a “get well soon” card.

So I sent him a "get well soon" card.

So I sent him a card, “Get well soon.”

So I sent him a "get well soon" card.