George S. Long Puns

I forgot my favorite song! I have jamnesia.

Who was that guy who bit my neck? Vamnesia.

I’ve been out of school so long, I can’t remember what it was like to stay up all night studying. I have cramnesia.

What band was George Michael in? Wham!nesia.

I can’t recognize my blood relatives…famnesia is a terrible condition.

I never pay enough attention to advertising emails to remember them — spamnesia comes in handy!

I used to drive the ice-smoothing machine, but forgot how. Zamnesia.

I’ve had memory issues ever since that aggressive sheep headbutted me. Ramnesia!

I could never be a prison guard, because I have a condition that prevents me from recognizing escapees: lamnesia.

I can never remember the names of women who are my social superiors…I have ma’amnesia.

What do they call that big concrete wall that blocks the Colorado River? Sorry, I have damnesia.

I’m not sure if I’ve ever eaten mussels — my clamnesia is acting up.

What did we eat during last year’s holidays? I have hamnesia.

Who’s that celebrity chef from New Orleans? I got a bad case of BAMnesia!

Funniest horse puns and jokes

A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a whisky. The landlord says: “Hey, we’ve got a whisky named after you.” The horse replies: “What, George?”

A horse trudges slowly into a pub and orders a drink. “Evenin’” says the barman, “why the long face?”

A horse walks into a smart cocktail bar. The doorman says: “Wait you can’t come in here without a tie.”The horse goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a set of jump leads, which he ties around his neck.He goes back in and says to the barman: “This alright?” The barman says: “Hmm, ok… but don’t be starting anything.”

A poorly-looking horse limps into a bar with a bandage round his head. He orders a glass of champagne, a vintage brandy and two pints of Guinness. He downs the lot and says to the barman: “I shouldn’t really be drinking this with what I’ve got?” “Why, what have you got?” “About £2 and a carrot.”

Which side of a horse has more hair? The outside What’s a horse’s favourite TV show? Neighbours

A racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet. “Will I be able to race this horse again?,” he asks The vet replies: “Of course you will, and you’ll probably win!”

Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!

A dead horse walks into a bar and orders a whisky.

“I’m sorry, sir,” says the barman. “We don’t serve spirits..

A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. “Excuse me, good sir,” the horse says, “are you hiring?” The manager looks the horse up and down and says, “Sorry, pal. Why don’t you try the circus?” The horse nickers. “Why would the circus need a bartender?”

Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? The doctor described his condition as stable.

What did the horse say when it fell? “I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”

Q. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.

A man rode his horse to town on Friday. The next day he rode back on Friday. How is this possible? The horse’s name was Friday.

Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little horse!

What did the horse say when it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class? Why the long face?

What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bo