A list of puns related to "G Fuel"
The shuttle was low on fuel, so Armstrong has to take manual control of it to find them a safer place to land, landing 4 miles away from where they intended to.
The scientists behind it were very Apollo-getic.
Nightmare fuel.
It will be the fuel-good movie of the year.
"I just had the weirdest dream, and I can't make any sense of it."
Mrs Claus sits up and replies "Why don't you tell me about it dear?"
"They're I am, doing the Christmas eve rounds, checking in on the workers and I see one of them topping up the sleigh with gas. It's just routine work, but it woke me up tonight. What do you make of it?"
"Oh I see," Mrs Claus says, "very interesting."
"Well?" Santa says expectantly.
"This is a classic example of an elf fuel filling prophecy."
I work in an office with 2 other guys and we all get along very well. Once every other week, a cleaning crew comes in to sweep, dust, mop etc.
One of the cleaning crew had a duster out and was dusting my coworkers desk. He told the lady to hit me with the duster as I was acting silly as usual. She said she couldn't as she would go to jail for battery. I said, "No. You would go to jail for assault with a dusty weapon."
The audible groans and chuckles were fuel to my dad humoured fire.
Person A:. Don't worry about Xxxx. He runs on straight dick head fuel.
Person B: You call that Assholine?
And I saw a woman smoking while she was fueling. I'm sitting there in dismay when I look over at another pump and see two cops leaning against their car eating hotdogs.
I start giving them this look of "don't you see this? Are you going to do anything?" they seemed unconcerned.
Just as I look back to the woman, I see her arm had caught fire and she's freaking out, flaling her arm around trying to put it out. Suddenly the cops tackle her, putting out the fire and then they arrest her.
I asked them "well, why the hell are you arresting her for? Isn't getting burned bad enough? One of the cops just looked at me and said
"She was waving around a firearm! "
My dad doesn't have a traditional "dad joke" sense of humor, but this one was great. My family was driving to church one day and my sister noticed an empty jar under one of the seats. My sister asked why it was there, but she phrased it as, "what's this?" My dad replied, with a mischievous grin, "it's sailboat fuel."
It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.
Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.
When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.
The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.
The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.
Scissors always cut to the point.
Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.
When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.
Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”
i c e i c e w a t e r
Architecture is an aspiring career path.
‘Pun’ puns don’t add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.
I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.
Plants should always rooted in the ground.
Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.
Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Don’t take these puns for granite.
Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to use them.
Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.
My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.
I am not a fan of wind turbines.
Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.
Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.
Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.
Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.
A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.
I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.
Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.
Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.
Who can carry 20L of fuel for me?
JERRY CAN!!
Fuel and far between.
While driving home with my wife, we passed a Sam's Club and I noticed the fuel prices were low. I asked her, "You ever get gas at Sam's?" She said, "Yeah, sometimes after eating the free samples, I let one rip."
... we know this because Mr T pities the fuel
Dad: I'm going to fill the car up with gas AND put fuel in the tank!
It was nightmare fuel.
Started filling up tank with regular 87. Didn't sound right, so I pulled the nozzle out and see that it was just a bunch of shaving cream. Tried the mid grade: rubber snakes. Premium: Jimmy Kimmel canceled Christmas.
Dammit, April Fuels.
... but he was having trouble with the fuel pump. Every time the pressure dropped, it would start getting clogged and would shut down.
Eventually he had inspiration, and set things up to work in parallel: now if one intake started having trouble, the rest would still keep it running smoothly.
Lesson learned, don't put all your ebbs in one gasket
Now he's fuel injected.
I went to the doctor's today. He asked what he could do for me. I told him that the other day my colleague was driving me to work to save on fuel while simultaneously saving the planet. and while we were passing through a mountain I all of a sudden felt a sharp pain in my wrists. Turns out I have carpool tunnel syndrome.
How can you tell if a fuel tanker is bad? It's all full...
I grew up in Vermont. Around my town were plenty of dairy farms, inviting the always wonderful manure aroma. An aroma that nearly forced my father to inhale deeply through his nose, saying, "Ah, fresh Vermont air!"
That's an excellent Dad one liner, as are most dad jokes, but he had another great one that I'm getting to.
You see, the hay bails we saw growing up in Vermont were mostly the cube variety. Hay bailing technology at the time created cubes of hay, so that's what dotted the fields they'd graze in.
As we grew older, we starting noticing the now more common round bails of hay. Dad was not pleased.
I asked him what the problem was or, at least, what his problem was with the round bails. The best jokes are set up when you ask for them.
So, he tells me. New farming technology allowed the round bails to be created more efficiently. They used less fuel in the bailers, took less passes on the field to gather the hay. They used less twine, and even though they didn't fill a truck as well as square bails, there was still a net monetary gain from the efficiency gained elsewhere.
However, studies were done on the bails. The cows approached them differently due to the different alignment of surface area. The way the rain hit the bails and rolled off as opposed to soaking in leached nutrients out of the hay. Some cows even mistook the shape of bail for another animal, and approached them so nervously that their heart rates were known to raise significantly; such a rate that a tinge of acidity could be tasted by those in the know in their milk.
What all of this amounted to... is that with the new round bails of hay, the cows just weren't getting a good square meal.
It was an April fuels day joke...
It is fueled by oil.
I know this guy right? He went and filled up his tank with fuel at the servo. He didn't put the hose in properly so it click and the 91 fuel splashed back onto him. He didn't think anything of it and just let it dry and went and paid for it. He's a smoker and on the way home from the servo he lights one up and his arm catches on fire. Fuck man, he was freaking out! So he puts his arm out the window to put the fire out. Next thing you know, the po po pull out behind this bloke, lights and sirens blaring! He got pull over and was arrested for an unregistered fire arm
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
My girlfriend wnted a new watch so we went to the local shopping centre to go to the Fossil shop. It was shut due to a power outage. Go back the next day and they're open; a quick chat with the shop assistant and she says the problem still isn't fixed and they're using generators to try and get through the day.
I couldn't help myself and say "I guess that means you're running on Fossil Fuel then?"
It didn't go down very well.
I work at an airport. I had been fueling for a bit when a local flight instructor came in asking for fuel right as I sat down for breakfast.
"Hey man. Can I get some fuel for my plane?"
"Dude, you saw me just sit down to eat my clementine," I said jokingly.
"What, do you have a special break for eating those things?"
To which I replied, "Yeah, I call it clementime."
Needless to say, my girlfriend is probably leaving me for that one.
We were doing a lab using diesel engines.
"Once the fuel rack has been opened, the amount of fuel injected should be sufficient to keep the engine running under its own steam. Or even diesel."
He and the other prof then just start giggling.
Though usually dad jokes are groan-worthy puns, I think this fits the category as a very dad-like joke despite the lack of punnery:
I got a message from my truck driver brother-in-law, who says he's hauling "post holes and sailboat fuel" back home today.
After stopping for fuel and snacks at a little service station we resume travel. My friend got a bag of little crackers and chips mixed together. He offers me some and feeling snackish, "okay yeah I guess maybe I'll have a bit" he replies very quickly "you can have a bite too" at which point I realize it's a bag of bit and bites. Damn it.
Our law fraternity, Phi Alpha Delta is hosting a luncheon with a panel of lawyers today. A friend and I in the frat were talking about what's on the menu, which neither of us knew. Finally, I just said "maybe they'll serve PAD Thai."
Her grimace and groan will fuel my afternoon.
11pm outside of a gas station twenty miles from Tuscan. Watching the last embers of a cigarette sputter out and die. So long. Too long. Too long is the road in front of me, the road behind me. How long have I been standing here? Too long.
Hear a voice next to me: "Spare some change for gas?"
I turn to look at him, and realize how long it's been since I've seen another human being. Too long. I said: "Yep. What a concept. I could use a little fuel myself, and we could all use a little change."
Cashier asks if I want any fuel. 'I'm not that thirsty'. I grinned.
He didn't even smile.
In Oregon (US) every gas station has attendants to pump your gas, and you're not allowed to pump it yourself. When my friend found this out she said "Did you know it's illegal to pump your own gas in Oregon" to which I replied "I guess they're just trying to fuel the economy"
My buddy just invented and hit me with this one.
"Where do cowboys go to fuel up? The grass station."
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