Funny Raffle Puns

https://imgur.com/gallery/716QT6d https://imgur.com/irH9iFj

Greetings everyone!

https://forms.gle/epLjxPgiCQ16JzUz9

• Form closes +/- 24 hours, before Sunday ends of 3rd September 2021, 2359hrs SGT (GMT+08)
• USD 55 each (excludes shipping)
• 5 caps
• 1 person per entry that doesn't warrant an invoice
• 100% Handmade and casted in resin for MX stem
• Winners will be invoiced through Paypal (Justin Hoeden) and payment request is valid for 24 hours
• Unpaid entries will be banned (I'm sorry) from future sales, re-raffling will take place after

Shipping costs:

• USD 2.30 for Singapore addresses via SingPost (tracked)
• USD 10 for International via SingPost (tracked)
• Shipping/Tracking will be updated by 6th October 2021

Follow me on my personal Instagram profile for future sales/updates:

https://www.instagram.com/jusherhoe/

Thank you for your love and support, you are the reason for this possibility.

So I've been selling my Marvel digital comic codes on r/comiccodes for a while now, and people on that sub have been picking and choosing what they want and buying them. Now that just about everyone on that sub has seen my list, and no ones really buying anymore, I figured that Id raffle out the last couple on this sub for some free karma. I have about 35 codes, mostly random Spider-Man and X-Men issues from the past year, but also some miscellaneous ones I've picked up. So just comment something (preferably funny) below to put your name in and once there's a lot of entries I'll pick 35 random names and pm them a code! I'm trying to give stuff to as many people as possible, so I think I'll limit it to 1 per person for now, but also spread the word so lots of people can have a chance to get a free book or two!

Because I wanted to be the first person to do a raffle after the new rules. Small prizes though, since I don't have too much to be just throwing things away willy nilly.

RULES

• This raffle closes tomorrow right before I decide to go to bed. (probably around 24ish hours from now)

• Post a joke. Any sort of joke (text only). The ones that I find funny (even in the slightest) will be entered into the raffle. Do not just copy a joke from somewhere else on reddit (I know google-fu!). You won't win that way. You may post more than one joke, but may only be entered once.

• Afterwards, the winners will be chosen from among the people who were entered into the raffle. Then, all of the jokes that made it into the raffle will be collected and posted to r/funny (as a self post, so no karma), because everybody deserves a laugh.

• I will contact you via a message on reddit if you win (or if you have that fancy flair next to your name, I'll just add you and send you a message over steam if you're online). Failure to respond within 24 hours of my message means your forfeit your winnings.

Prize Pool

• Strange Syringe Gun
• Strange Pistol
• Description Tag

Feel free to donate to the prize pool if you want to support this cause. The more prizes there are, the more people win! If you want to donate, add me on steam via the flair next to my name.

My budget is about $20-$25 for 10 prizes. The audience ranges from 7yo to 70yo, mostly adults. So far my ideas are:

• A roll of toilet paper in a medium sized box so when it's wrapped up the prize looks deceptively good.

• Chocolate

• Photo frame

I can't really think of many cheap but nice gifts, as the only thing that comes to mind is chocolate, sweets, biscuits, etc.

Order Number: 116-6333228-6557868 It's pants and they will be there soon.

I just noticed I have this key for a standard edition, and I don't have plans for it; so it is going to one of you.

I'll pick one random comments and DM them the code. Comment whatever you want to enter, jokes, Tarkov stories (funny or not) are appreciated but not required to enter.

To give you people time to see this thread and comment, I'll pick the winner around 5pm EDT tomorrow (Nov 10).

Good luck everyone!

Edit: Tagging the approving moderator to comply with sub rules. Giveaway approved by /u/Zavodskoy.

10:10am EST Update:
Opachki, you cheeki breekies!!! Almost 900 entries so far. Don't you people sleep? I woke up to 500+ new comments here.
There's gotta be a better way to get all your names that doesn't involve copy/pasting lol.
There is, but I'm not very comfortable using these raffle bots, so manually it is.

Keep them entries coming. You have until around 5pm EST!
I'll update this post 30 minutes before entries are closed.

4:30pm EST Update:
Almost at 1,200 entries with 30 minutes to go! Read some funny stuff while getting your usernames.

5:00pm EST Giveaway Finale:
Congrats to u/lestchastor. I DM'd you the key. Hope you have fun.

Bunch of things I learned in these last 24 hours about this EFT community:

1. A surprising number of people are into cock and balls torture, as they know EFT is worse than that;
2. Lots of you want to share the pain and suffering EFT brings with friends and family - so wholesome;
3. Bunch of good stories on how frustrating EFT is - I reciprocate the sentiment.

Thanks for everyone who participated!

Do your worst!

Item Name Set Number : Imperial Light Cruiser 75315, Imperial TIE Fighter 75300

DO NOT RESPOND TO PAYMENT DMs

Call Spots: No, slots will be assigned in order then shuffled before the bot is called.

Spot limit per person: 1

Duration of raffle: Bot will be called at 11:59PM EST.

Location(Country): USA

Will ship international: Yes, winner pays difference over $25

Timestamp pics: https://imgur.com/a/7iJU59i

Description: Happy Thanksgiving! Let's start the holiday off with a giveaway! 1 spot per person, no called spots, no responding to payment DMs.

<raffle-tool>

&#x200b;

Tip BoyAndHisBlob

Number of vacant slots: 0

Number of unpaid users: 0

Number of unpaid slots: 0

This slot list is created and updated by The EDC Raffle Tool by BoyAndHisBlob.

1 /u/Odd_Buffalo_7789 PAID

2 /u/Awkwardlytall PAID

3 /u/Bewitchingchick PAID

4 /u/p3rm4fr0s7 PAID

5 /u/golde62 PAID

6 /u/aliciaf1 PAID

7 /u/Dry_Tumbleweed7431 PAID

8 /u/tragopan PAID

9 /u/cag80 PAID

10 /u/danteschneider PAID

11 /u/ImplementSilver1092 PAID

12 /u/TheEmblem2114 PAID

13 /u/RentPuzzleheaded4043 PAID

14 /u/CyanideSandwich7 PAID

15 /u/ILoveDogsAlotAlot PAID

16 /u/rbrian2017 PAID

17 /u/Van_Da_Real PAID

18 /u/mathfreakazoid PAID

19 /u/Blondie0074 PAID

20 /u/mwbergevin PAID

21 /u/Tekki PAID

22 /u/txjed PAID

23 /u/dancefreak76 PAID

24 /u/dillng PAID

25 /u/flimflamslappy PAID

26 /u/dslitebrownrecluse PAID

27 /u/Crippledcracker PAID

28 /u/AdministrationDry783 PAID

29 /u/weee06 PAID

30 /u/CJHal PAID

31 /u/WubbaLubbaDabDab777 PAID

32 /u/srtrs PAID

33 /u/TheDanWithThePlan PAID

34 /u/seventeenkatie PAID

35 /u/imadyke PAID

36 /u/Drakvince PAID

37 /u/LoneBlack3hadow PAID

38 /u/wacowillie3281 PAID

39 /u/Original6Shooter PAID

40 /u/Crazysideup PAID

41 /u/Kindly_Adhesiveness8 PAID

42 /u/stizzity28 PAID

43 /u/Craiss PAID

44 /u/ItWouldBeGrand PAID

45 /u/forecastsharknado PAID

46 /u/MrsChemE21 PAID

47 /u/ghgaud PAID

48 /u/Pewter22 PAID

49 /u/copperXmine PAID

50 /u/wakawakawaka420 PAID

51 /u/RandomAbyss PAID

52 /u/BruceWayne2511 PAID

53 /u/Shadowhunter19997 PAID

54 /u/lividus PAID

55 /u/mtnracer PAID

56 /u/Kaleb_Sm1th PAID

57 /u/DAL4688 **PAI

It really does, I swear!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

They’re on standbi

Buenosdillas

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

Day/Time: 12/3 - 10am

Item Name Set Number: 75978 Diagon Alley, 71043 Hogwart’s Castle, 76391 Hogwart’s Icons, 76389 Hogwart’s Chamber of Secrets, 76388 Hogsmeade Village Visit, 76395 Hogwart’s First Flying Lesson, 40452 Hogwart’s Gryffindor Dorms

Lego Price: $435, $435, $273, $109, $87, $33, $41

Shipping: Box 1: $72 26x20x12, 28lbs, UPS Ground, NY to CA Box 2: $61 26x20x9, 18lbs, UPS Ground, NY to CA Box 3: $47 24x16x9, 10lbs, UPS Ground, NY to CA Supplies: $15, 2 boxes, packaging materials, tape.

Raffle Total/Spots: $1608 / 402 spots @ $4/ea.

Price justification: LEGO.com, BL 3 month for dorms

Call spots: Y

Spot limit per person: N

Duration of spot limit:

Location(Country): USA

Will ship international: Y, winner outside conus pays difference via USPS

Timestamp pics: https://imgur.com/a/u0YcRfx

Description: All you need for a Very Merry Harry Christmas.

Payment required w/in 20 minutes of raffle filling.

PayPal payments are to be Friends and Family only with NO COMMENTS. Comments will result in a permanent ban

<raffle-tool>

Cash App Info: [REDACTED]

&#x200b;

Tip BoyAndHisBlob

Number of vacant slots: 0

Number of unpaid users: 0

Number of unpaid slots: 0

This slot list is created and updated by The EDC Raffle Tool by BoyAndHisBlob.

1 /u/Adoraballsack PAID

2 /u/flimflamslappy PAID

3 /u/Van_Da_Real PAID

4 /u/Gunneremu PAID

5 /u/mjkeezy PAID

6 /u/silicontoast PAID

7 /u/Bosskz PAID

8 /u/Bosskz PAID

9 /u/heavyboots79 PAID

10 /u/jamesonthon13 PAID

11 /u/mjkeezy PAID

12 /u/Bosskz PAID

13 /u/me2dammit PAID

14 /u/mtnracer PAID

15 /u/only_passingtrough PAID

16 /u/mnbcmc PAID

17 /u/silicontoast PAID

18 /u/luckyjezter PAID

19 /u/bulldogger33 PAID

20 /u/hshamshu PAID

21 /u/only_passingtrough PAID

22 /u/rolet74 PAID

23 /u/silicontoast PAID

24 /u/Kbacklash PAID

25 /u/Bosskz PAID

26 /u/mtnracer PAID

27 /u/EmergencyNo9369 PAID

28 /u/EmergencyNo9369 PAID

29 /u/copperXmine PAID

30 /u/copperXmine PAID

31 /u/copperXmine PAID

32 /u/copperXmine PAID

33 /u/bulldogger33 PAID

34 /u/nik0mon PAID

35 /u/TeddyLea PAID

36 /u/Yuri_Ligotme PAID

37 /u/mjkeezy PAID

38 /