Funny Juice Puns

They hang around bars 24/7.

Wife called me while i was driving home from work and asked me to stop at Kroger and get potatoes, as she forgot them for dinner. Also told me I might as well get beer (yay).

So i walk in the grocery store and check out the beer situation. Nothing on sale, eh. So i decide to buy the potatoes and walk to the liquor store next door as they stores share a parking lot and I'm not driving 200 feet.

I go to the liquor store, grab my juice and head to the counter. "Anything else?" The clerk says. Raising the beer and potatoes I respond, "I'll take the beer but i don't think this vodka is ready yet!"

He didn't find it funny but I was thinking of you guys the whole time!!!

My wife and I were at the supermarket, when she looks at the list and announces "Oh, we need some juice concentrate."

I of course respond instantly by staring intently in the distance and stop walking.

She walks a few paces then looks at me confused. "Why did you stop walking?"

"You said we need concentrate."

"I know but..." then there's a long pause as she finally gets the joke. She responds by glaring at me and slapping the crap out of my shoulder.

Baby thought it was funny at least.

Everybody was sitting quietly at the breakfast table this morning and my dad decided to break the silence with this.

Dad: This orange juice tastes funny...

Mom: What does it taste like?

Dad: I don't know, but it has a dole flavor.