My history professor's pun (xpost from r/funny)
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2017
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In war, it doesn't matter who's right,

All that matters is who's left.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/etaithespeedcuber
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2023
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I like classical music and frozen desserts.

My favorite is Schubert

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BogusBill2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2023
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A female pope pun

I thought of this pun in class in university back in the late 90s, and I thought it was funny. I still stand by it, and will do so until I die.

We were discussing the conspiracy that there was possibly a female pope at one time in history. The professor asked how would they even know if a certain pope was female. How would they discover it?

I turned to the guy sitting next to me: "Maybe a Papal smear?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JacobasNile
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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My son said his friend wanted to know about history but was hesitant about learning.

I told him that all it takes is... APUSH. (AP U.S History) Sorry if this wasn’t as funny as it sounded in my head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yeet_Boi21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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The Blitz of Puns

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Scissors always cut to the point.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”

i c e i c e w a t e r

Architecture is an aspiring career path.

β€˜Pun’ puns don’t add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.

I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Don’t take these puns for granite.

Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to use them.

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zmanofdoom95
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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I was talking about what I learned in history class today...

My dad said: "I'm glad you're liking history, but don't go into it for a living. I hear the field has no future."

(It was funny, I swear. I'm just a bad storyteller.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cntrl_alt_dlt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2014
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