Uncle Edison made a funny sweaty, also he ha a hernia
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VarysIsAMermaid69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
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"Fixing a toilet leak. I took 2 trips to Home Depot, worked with a hernia, had a pain in the ass time putting the wax ring and screws on...only to install the toilet and forgetting about the door. I'm an idiot." - /r/funny (+4513) [September 29, 2014]
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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My wife is out of town having hernia surgery for 2 more weeks, and I am staying home with our 3 little girls under 3 (busy toddler & almost-walking twins). What are some funny (harmless) pranks, or "must do while mom is away" activities that we could slip into our picture/video messages?

We're a week into the 3 total weeks without mom and everyone is still smiling. I'm looking forward to your suggestions!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shootstill
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2014
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I just finished TAR12 for the first time in my chronological watch of every season. Here are some of my thoughts!

Hello /r/TheAmazingRace!

Season 12 done! I made you guys wait a little longer than usual this time, about 6 days since my last post! For those that care, I got a new puppy, and she’s been quite the handful for us, so less time to watch TAR and write reviews.

I’m here now though, that’s what’s important!

Season 12 was a really good one, and strong in almost all aspects. From a cast that was (mostly) good, to some fantastic locations/challenges and some new twists, this season had it all. And whilst the cast did have a few duds (imo), this definitely didn’t detract from my enjoyment of the season as a whole, as the casting wins far outshine the fails. Let’s discuss!

Disclaimer: I've only seen Seasons 1-12 and Season 30 - so please refrain from spoiling any future seasons! I'm planning on only browsing my posts in the sub, and nothing else, to avoid spoilers! Also, this is all my opinion! You are of course allowed to disagree, but lets keep it civil :)

Thoughts on the cast

As mentioned, I feel pretty positively about the cast! There are a couple teams here that have a lot of depth, some that I absolutely love, and some that I could do without. As always, lets start with the winner!

TK & Rachel

I really like TK and Rachel! Whilst they may have been one of the more straightforward/typical teams on the season, and a frequently seen archetype, they were a fun duo that remained constantly likeable and rootable throughout the course of the season. Their relationship together was really fantastic and sweet (it’s always great to see a couple that actually seems to love each-other), and the way they supported each other was always amazing.

Despite some first place/top 3 finishes, I don’t think their racing ability necessarily stands out as we’ve seen with some other recent winners. They were fantastic challenge competitors in some cases though (which I’ll mention below).

Overall, TK and Rachel just feel like the stock-standard nice, likeable couple on this season, but that’s definitely not a knock on them, because I did love watching and rooting for them. They had a fantastic comeback in the last few episode where they fell to 3 hours behind other teams, and managed to catch up and bring home a win in the end - really awesome stuff, and a fun (albeit, pretty normal) winner to the season. Team Ranking: 3rd/11

Ron & Christina

A great addition to the cast this season. Ron/Christina have a really deep and interesting arc this season

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kroftyy
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
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(Warning: Morbid dad joke) True Story -- My family were planning my mum's funeral. We always try to keep things light and try to stay positive, just as Mum would have it...

The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.

Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.

The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:

"What's sarong with that?"

I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).

His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.

--Edit-- I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)

--Edit-- Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zipflop
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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If my son ever came out to be trans then I wouldn’t have a son anymore

I would have a daughter

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Captbeauner
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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Ah yes, pretty hip
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/entertainer011
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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Dis-a-
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/krismoff
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
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What is the fastest growing city in the world?

Capital of Ireland

It's Dublin everyday

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeaPanties
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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Don't know if this was posted here before
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πŸ‘€︎ u/choclite69
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
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Such a pointless conversation.
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/david_pridson
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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What the fuck has happened to this sub!?

http://m.imgur.com/ImM3RWz

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FwootHotCaacon
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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Bill and Melinda Gates got divorced. Melinda got the house...

But Bill kept the Windows

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScubaPride
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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Recovery diary from no mesh inguinal repair

I am 30M, just had an open no-mesh repair of a right inguinal hernia yesterday. For context, I initially went to a surgeon who recommended a Bard 3D Max mesh laparoscopic repair, but upon doing research and seeing the number of lawsuits, and then also reading this article, https://harpers.org/archive/2021/03/in-the-net-hernia-mesh/, I decided to go with a different surgeon who specialized in no mesh repair.

Day 0: surgery was successful, so grateful. managed to pee right when I woke up in the recovery room though extremely slow flow, but was able to be discharged. Felt hunger within a couple of hours so ate some light food, and had my appetite slowly return over the day. Took a shower and enjoyed the warm water, though felt mild nausea, apparently side effects of the GA. No pain yet because the local anesthesia was still acting, but discomfort when moving, needed support to barrel roll off bed and use the bathroom. Took tramadol (moderate opioid) before I slept, but actually found that ibuprofen has worked better and so I didn’t take tramadol besides the first time. Also took milk of magnesia for laxative and herbal supplements to help with inflammation and nerve pain as recommended by my doctor.

Day 1: much more pain as LA has worn off, depending on ibuprofen and ice. Bowels worked this morning which was comforting. Having more strength, but still find getting off bed and walking painful. Funny story, I tried watching Community (which I’m currently binging), but laughing hurts so I’m laying off that for now. Pain isn’t sharp, but feels like tightness and constriction (for those worried about what the pain feels like).

Will post updates on my day by day recovery if helpful!

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πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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From my 5-year-old son: "Hey"

True story; it even happened last night. My 5-year-old son walks up behind me and out of the blue says, "hey."

I turn to him and say, "yeah, kiddo? What's up?"

He responds, "it's dead grass."

I'm really confused and trying to figure out what's wrong and what he wants from me. "What? There's dead grass? What's wrong with that?"

.

.

.

He says, totally straight-faced, "hay is dead grass," and runs off.

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πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
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If you slap Dwayne Johnsons butt

You officially hit rock bottom

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeytherealking
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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Bit coin or something idk
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/naughtyballsack
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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She seems to be having a field day out there.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fedamasavasol
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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What rhymes with orange.

No it doesn't.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Remo1975
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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My Bluetooth speaker wasn’t working so I threw it into the lake.

Now it’s syncing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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In surgery my doctor said, "So what do we have here?" I replied that I broke my arm in 12 places."

He replied, "Well, stop going to those places then!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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To the person who stole my MS Office License.

I will find you. You have my Word.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Regclusive
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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I told my wife I saw a deer on the way to work.

She said how do you know he was headed to work?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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Water pun
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/duckykitty7
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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In honor of Mother’s Day, I’d just like to say,

β€œthank you for your cervix.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rusto_Dusto
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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He is right there...
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jointly_epic
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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I've started a boat building business in my attic...

...sails are going through the roof.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xholdsteadyx
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
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I got banned from /r/DadJokes for posting, "Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms!"

Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?

A taxi

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SubstantialBelly6
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
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Hard medical week

I had a rough surgery on tues. Thought it was a simple cyst but ended up being a dangerous hernia. I've been lying in bed all week since then with my partner caring for me and my lovely cat snuggling by my side. I've had painful, difficult moments but funny ones too. Making my partner giggle and just goof together has been the best.

I am so, so grateful that booze was out of the equation for this. I would have been sad, and disappointed that I couldn't drink. I would have tried mixing heavy duty painkillers with "just a little bit" of whiskey. I would have hurt myself, possibly greatly, if I wasn't able to control it. And I've never been able to control it.

It was hard as it was, having the physical pain and anxiety of serious surgery. But it was managed and I feel like I'm coming out of it stronger, more present, and just happy and grateful for what I have.

Thank you, all of you for being an amazing group. IWNDWYT. And cheers (with my hot tea) to all of our health and well-being. It really is worth it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stephacharlotte
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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*Triggering britishers*
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potato_patataa
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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And on that note
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcastic_gooner
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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My whole life I thought Chewbacca was an Ewok....

Wookie mistake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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I'm so proud. My 12-year old told this joke during dinner: What degree does Dr. Pepper have?

Theoretical Fizz-ics

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
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originally posted on r/tumblr by u/MaetelofLaMetal
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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Why is Dark spelled with a β€˜K’ and not a β€˜C’?

Because you can’t β€˜C’ in the dark

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πŸ‘€︎ u/streety22
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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Knight Knight
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shevelled
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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He gave the toy horses a home in his ___
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πŸ‘€︎ u/7keletor
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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It is
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/egyptiancowboy05
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
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My Dad just sent me this
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/metroracerUK
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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I told my dad that home births have skyrocketed since corona; he was confused.

He thought homes were built, not born.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SomeoriginalAlias
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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I caught my son chewing on an electrical cord...

so I had to ground him.

He's doing better currently.

And conducting himself properly.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XIIXOO
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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There will be point in the future when Canada will take over the world.

And then you will all be sorry.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
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Initially I didn’t believe that my chiropractor was any good.

But now I stand corrected.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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Guys, today was my first day in the navy and I felt so lost!

Wait. Sorry, wrong sub.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nikolai_G
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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My wife said, β€œI don’t really understand the science behind human cloning.”

I said, β€œThat makes two of us.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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My grandfather was always terrible until I had my first child

Now he’s a great grandfather

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ErnestEugeneBoggs
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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There were 30 cows and 28 chicken. How many didn't?
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rozen007
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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