I press 'Submit'
Then I came to the conclusion that they're just all kept in a dadabase.....
I'll see myself out 🚪🚶🏾♂️
What can I respond to him
But I totally blue it.
When it’s apparent.
Inexperienced
Unless everyone gets them
My wife and I were visiting Bass Pro Shop today and I noticed there were some ducks in the pond outside of the building. I pointed them out to my wife who, upon noticing them bobbing up and down in the water, asked me what they were doing. Without missing a beat I replied "They're Ducking."
I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.
Why do ice cubes get straight a's? Because they are always at the top of their glass!
penny factories make a lot of sense.
It was a maize zing
My son brings home math homework. Son: dad I can’t figure out this question. Dad: well what’s the question? Son: how do you know this is not an acute angle? Dad: that’s easy son! It’s not an ugly one...
"So there is pontiac. Porsche. Packard.. You know what a Packard is, dont ya? Or is that a little before your time? How old are you? So you know what it is then, right?" So he sets up the joke incorrectly by not giving me a chance to name any. But to him, this joke is SO funny, there is no way to make it unfunny. ".. well none of them because they all start with gas." Then he turns and acts like he is about to walk out of the store, like he dropped the proverbial mic. So I feign a half smile & say "yep. Gas. Thats a good one."
https://i.redd.it/4nxahotzfku11.jpg
As mentioned on /r/funny, it's a shame we don't know the actual joke used here.
In fact it looks the same the father away you are.
Side Note: I'm older and moved out of the house and I find these jokes funny now. I just found this sub and wanted to share a piece of my childhood.
When I was around 10 years old, I jumped in a pool and instantly started shivering. My dad looks at me and says "Did the turtle go back in the shell?"
Another time, my older brother was making a sandwich and had it finished sitting on a plate on the counter. My brother turned around to put the stuff away in the fridge and in that minuet my dad walked up stairs grabbed the sandwich and walked back down stairs.
Which is why the Dr with no arms couldn't work with pregnant women
http://i.imgur.com/GhtW3Vq.jpg
http://imgur.com/gallery/YtNd0
I told my dad this joke which was just posted here: http://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/37gt2n/the_bank_must_really_like_me/
He said, "Just like that farmer... He was outstanding in his field!"
Significant other recently dumped me to heal some personal life issues alone. Call the family and explain the situation, tell them that bf was sadly a recovering drug addict.
Go home to enjoy a mom daughter weekend. Bad dad joke ensues.
Dad calls: What are you and your mom up to today? Me: We just finished a manicure pedicure session. Dad: I thought you just got rid of one of those? Me: ...what?.. Dad: A man-to-cure. Me: .....Face palm. Okay dad... That was pretty good.
My 10 year old son says "one half + one half is on whole."
I say "And one hole is zero, because there is nothing in it!"
(Holding my hands on the shape of a zero)
I press “Submit”.A dad joke.
(Credit: my daughter)
When it becomes apparent.
http://i.imgur.com/ym8ygJA.jpg
