My ex wife drowned in coffee

Terrible way to go, but I'm just glad it was instant

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👤︎ u/Cmac6691
📅︎ Feb 12 2020
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Why did the coffee go to the police

Because it got mugged

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👤︎ u/inalieK
📅︎ Oct 13 2018
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My Waitress Tonight Told I Had To Post This

Scene: Dinner for my mom's birthday at a very nice (expensive) restaurant.

Waitress: Your steak comes with a choice of the vegetable of the day or a twice baked potato.

Me: Are twice baked potatoes and refried beans prepared similar ways or is that just a naming coincidence?

W: Laughing Oh my God. Our bartender and I were just talking about funny "dad jokes" on reddit! I didn't expect to hear one in person. Do you use reddit?

M: Umm... Yeah... I actually follow r/dadjokes but I'm not a dad and

W: You should post that joke there!

I have no idea if she will see this but my wife said I had to let everyone know about a redditor interaction. I hope she does because the food was awesome and she was a fantastic waitress beyond being a fellow redditor.

I still have no idea if twice baked potatoes and refried beans have any link...

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📅︎ Jan 06 2019
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I'm going to write a book about a guy named Jack who talks to his food

I'll call it "Jack and the beans talk"

...my 5 year old thought it was funny, my wife, not so much.

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👤︎ u/schlagzeug
📅︎ Nov 06 2016
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My grandad usually isn't funny.

And this probably wasn't as funny as it sounds but i laughed so much. Somehow he managed to open the fridge so heavy handedly a bowl of baked beans fell out and all over him and he yelled "I'VE BEAN HAD" I can't help but chuckle still, what a guy.

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📅︎ Apr 24 2015
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