Wife: "Who's the new Batman?" | Me: "Robert Pattinson"

Wife: "So vampires do turn into bats."

(I have no idea if she heard this elsewhere, but I def laughed at breakfast.)

👍︎ 7k
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👤︎ u/hkystar35
📅︎ Mar 13 2022
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Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?

Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.

👍︎ 9k
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📅︎ Jan 18 2020
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Coronavirus is now all over the world

But China got it right off the bat.

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📅︎ Jan 04 2021
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