Swarms of flying insects are threatening people all over the city.

The police have deployed all SWAT teams.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_Am_Cha_Bu_Duo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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What do you get when you cross the lover of the Russian queen and a flying insect?

Wa Wa Wasputin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeyArnoldPalmer2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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What do you call a flying insect that has curly hair?

A frizzbee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2018
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I just saw a large flying insect coughing up blood.

I think it's got tuberculocust.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rabbid_Goat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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So I was stung by a flying insect today...

My first thought was "why you gotta bee like this?"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Betzlalel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2017
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Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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If you were going to kill a fly what one liners would you say before you did it ?

Me and a friend came up with 3: β€œMy dick must be out because this fly’s undone” β€œHate to be a buzz kill” And β€œInsect yourself before you wreck yourself”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/teleman96
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
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This one is too long for just a title. But, I promise that this really just happened.

I live in South Carolina, sort of near the coast, and Hurricane Florence is headed this way. My two youngest children--total cowards--were helping me clear out all of the storm drains and curb gutters on our street to help the expected 10-20 inches of rain drain as best they can. Any time any insect flies past them, they scream bee and run away screaming. I'm talking like they're afraid of butterflies. My youngest says that Winter is her favorite season because all the bees are dead.

So, we finish up, and I go inside ahead of them, making them put the shovels away, and I hear, from inside, them running and crying/shrieking across the front porch and inside the house.

My youngest, amidst her sobs, says, "It was as big as a baseball" and holds the one I keep on my desk up for comparison.

I think make the B sign in ASL with both of my hands, stand up and say "BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ" at them while they run away in fear, and when the middle child says, "THAT'S NOT FUNNY" I keep moving towards them with my B hands while saying, "DO YOU WANT ME TO JUST LET YOU BEE? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

I'm a great dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wuapinmon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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One of my dad's more clever ones...

Was on the phone with both of my parents today while sitting on my porch. An unidentified insect flies by so I ask my mother, "Mom, how do you know if it's a Wasp?"

My dad replies, "Well, is it carrying a Bible?"

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2014
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My Dad asked me if I like to draw.

I said yes. He said what about insects. I said sure. Then he said he thought so because of the way I draw flys.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/musicmanjams
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2015
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So I was stung by a flying insect today...

My first thought was "why you gotta bee like this?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Betzlalel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2017
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