I was about to play cards after a long day’s work, but I found the aces missing.

I just can’t deal with this any more.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
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My friend has a wooden eye

We were in high school and it was that time of year where the pupils are looking for prom dates.

Anyways, there is this girl, Iris, that goes there that was also date-less who had a hair-lip (cleft palette) and hoping to hear from my friend.

He walks up to her, and says, "Iris, would you like to go to prom with me?"

Iris was so excited, her cheeks flushed, a smile burst forth and she exclaims, "Would I?! Would I?!......"

My friend gets pissed and jabs his finger towards her as tears start streaming down one side of his face and he's yells, "HAIR-LIP! HAIR LIP!" And runs away bawling his eye out.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2017
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What did the cop say to the criminal when they met in the restroom?

> "Hey! Urine trouble!" "If you come clean now we may shorten your punishment

 

 

> That was a really crappy pun

 

 

> I should just flush this joke away

 

 

> I bet you're really pissed at me for this, but don't shit on me

 

 

>I should cleanse myself of these puns

 

 

^Maybe ^I ^should ^stop ^now

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeRp_Meister
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2016
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