He was cap-sized.
Her dad said "she's never in style, she's always out of style. Her clothes never look good"!
It was Toulouse.
I'm trying to come up with as many puns about conformity as I can, especially those that have to do with fitting in to a box or category! Can you help me?
You pop the trunk
A Seatbelt.
A Palm Tree
State-of-the-Ark technology
I said, they absolutely have space- he’s only 20 inches and 6 lbs. [holding my hands up showing how small he is].
I replied, now you know how I feel.
I thought “Why would anyone pay to see that?”
He's breaking all sorts of records.
They worked their core-set
Unless of course they're buried in the same cemetery.
I guess that's how they stay fit though.
All those dead lifts.
I just didn't fit in
The mortician asked the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out the man looks good in the black suit he’s already wearing. The widow however said she thought her husband always looked his best in blue, and she would really like him in a blue suit. She then hands the mortician a blank cheque and says “I don’t care how much it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.” The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe. Remarkably, the suit fit him perfectly. She says to the mortician, “whatever this costs I’m very satisfied, you did an excellent job and I’m incredibly grateful. How much did you spend?” To her astonishment the mortician presents her with her blank cheque, and he says “there’s no charge.” Shocked she replies “no really, I feel like i must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit.” “Honestly ma’am”, the mortician says, “it costs nothing, you see a diseased gentleman about your husbands size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday. He was wearing an attractive blue suit. So I asked his wife if she minded if her husband went to the grave wearing black. She had said it made no difference so long as he looked nice. So from that point on it was really just a matter of switching the heads.”
Yet, I just fit a bus in here.
Papa balloon, Muma balloon and Bubba balloon.
Bubba balloon was still sleeping with Papa and Muma balloon but he was starting to get too big.
Papa and Muma balloon got a bedroom setup for Bubba balloon so they can finally sleep alone. But every night he would come in crying to sleep with Papa and Muma balloon but they never let up.
But one night, Bubba balloon waited for the Papa and Muma balloon to be faaaast asleep. He tried to squeeze in between them but he couldn't quite fit. Very carefully, he started to let some air out of Papa balloon... It wasn't enough. Very carefully, he let some air out of Muma balloon... But it still wasn't enough. He didn't want to deflate his parents any more... So he slowly let some air out of himself. It was perfect. He snuggled in and slept soundly.
The next morning, you could imagine how disappointed Papa and Muma balloon was. Papa balloon said: We tried to help you and tried to help you grow in toy a Big Boy balloon. We are so disappointed with you.
You let ME down... You let your Muma down... But most disappointing of all... You let yourself down!
I noah guy
This may fit better in r/unclejokes but seeing how this line was from my dad, I wanted to put it here.
Me: I told a friend that I was having some trouble in the bedroom and he suggested talking to my doctor about Viagra. I don't know how that's supposed to help me put a wardrobe together.
My dad: Might actually make it harder.
They're called portablebellos.
I couldn't find my voice, I stuttered, " I, I-i, I—I, I'L" I was at a loss for words
Take the r out of race and f out of way
FOUR.
How can you tell if there's an elephant in your fridge?
^There's ^footprints ^in ^the ^butter.
How can you tell if there's two elephants in your fridge?
^There's ^two ^sets ^of ^footprints ^in ^the ^butter.
How can you tell if there's three elephants in your fridge?
^You ^can ^hear ^them ^talking.
How can you tell if there's four elephants in your fridge?
^There's ^a ^station ^wagon ^parked ^out ^front.
Had potential to misfire but worked perfectly.
Also, the other day my wife left a Monster energy drink under her bed, and we waited for her to come and ask "ok who put this monster under my bed?"
I could barely fit in 4 cars and 4 dogs in there ..
Acclimate.
Take the S out of Safe and the F out of way
...a PALM tree!
