A starfish. If you have any better fish puns just let minnow.
Deficiency
Because sea fish thrive insult environment.
- fish 1 turns to a nearby restaurant and asks: shell we eat here?
fish 3 says: is it even good tho?
fish 1 then says: yeah its good, ive haddock with fish 2 before its a very good plaice.
fish 2 says: yeah that plaice is good, when i first took a bite of the food, i let out a huge, oh my cod!
fish 3 says: i trout that tho it seems kinda fishy, arowana eat at this restaurant. halibut that one? i had it with a large grouper before. ive even met the gill of my breams before!
fish 1 says: oh sure! i dont mind.
fish 3 says: there is a caviar tho, its very expensive and of-fish-al.
fish 2 says: oh for heavens hake! you know we dont have the money for that.
fish 3 says: nah im ballin, i could perch-ace the whole store!
fish 2 says: in my breams you cod, you take me for a school?! you are bass-lighting me.
fish 3 says: no, im not bass-lighting you. ive been surfing on this nft hype recently and have made river-bank! keep it as a sea-cret tho.
fish 2 says: oh, thats surf-prising. how much money have you made?
fish 3 says: mmm, about a gillion so far. its difficult to start tho, i had to shell all my craw-perty to a shellfish clam at the prawn-shop! but, i took my oppor-tuna-ty and made profit.
fish 1 says: ughh are you done coral-ling? im starving here!
fish 2 says: actually, do yall sea the curved metal thing up there? The food on it look delicious, let's crab it. - they all agreed unanimously, but little did they know, a wrasse-ful fisherman was up there,
waiting for his next meal. - fin
Sounds fishy. I already know about that.
but somehow I ended up with a human that walks
A-fish-in-sea
They have a lot of pressure on them.
Oh no, it's my worst anemone!
Although he's not dating currently.
Because then they'd they'd be jumping the shark.
Because they couldn't get into the A
my brother talking about a documentary he watched on deep sea fish..
brother: the deeper you go the crazier it gets some fish look like they have light bulbs attached to there head
dad: it must get very dark when the bulb runs out
The Blow Fish
So even my pet can be a fish ent.
Pulled a mussel
Second hand stores.
“Wasabi for your loss.”
Because he can tuna piano but he can't tuna fish
She’s extremely shellfish.
But Sadly, we drifted apart.
Because they are undergarments.
Because no matter how much it waves, no-one ever waves back.
Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.
3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.
5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head.”
A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'
A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.
A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. “We don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. “Why not?” one yogurt asks. “We’re cultured.”
A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.
A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”
A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Armed robbers—some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.
Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.
Can February March? No, but April May!
Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.
Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!
Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape
... keep reading on reddit ➡Just for the halibut
She was busted for conch-traband.
He met her online... 🎣 🧜♀️
How does an under sea band stay in tune?
A tuna fish.
For the beaches 😎
Because you oughta see it.
Context: we went to a local aquarium called the OdySea Aquarium, and my son o-fish-ally became a Dad. I've never been prouder.
Because they are always trying to hook up!
When it's underwater, it's called can'tseaweed.
We were out for 3 days trying to land the elusive salt-water gar. A real fighter of a fish.
On day 3 I hooked one and fought him for almost an hour before the hook ripped through and away he went.
So close!! But no sea gar.
Dam.
Please forgive if this joke has been told. My dad used to love to tell dad jokes all the time. He passed away in 2015 at the age of 49 and I miss him everyday. Hope you got a chuckle!
Because there’s plenty of fish in the sea, but love is in the air.
I told him: "Don't worry son there are plenty of fish in the sea".
He asked: "How exactly does that help me, dad??"
Anything catchy
Sofishticated.
"Remember son, there are plenty of fish in the sea... None of which I want to find with the car."
It was great. She’s a keeper.
