I told my son to go find out what "nada" means in english

But he came back with nothing

πŸ‘︎ 251
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BobbyTheDude
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.

You have my Word.

πŸ‘︎ 216
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beej2000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
🚨︎ report
My dad always said, β€œ Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”

β€œShe knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.”

πŸ‘︎ 237
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OMMOPOWER
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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My dad always told me β€œdon’t be quick to find faults”.

Good man, terrible geologist.

πŸ‘︎ 969
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tobias_drundridge
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend from college was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number.

I wonder what she’s up to now.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
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"Someone help me find my cornucopia!",

The man cried fruitlessly

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SherlockH73
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
One astronaut says to another β€œI can’t find any milk for my coffee”

The other astronaut replies β€œIn space no one can, here use cream”

πŸ‘︎ 280
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend called me in a panic and shouted, β€œAn evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! I don’t know what to do!” Frantically, I drove all the way to his house only to find out...

...he’s really a big lyre.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't find my cake anywhere.

I was so excited to eat it for Christmas but it was stollen.

Edit: tried to strengthen the Cake to Stollen connection.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sjlufi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
My boss said, β€œI find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.”

I said, β€œIt must be my weekend immune system.”

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
To the person who stole my spectacles. I will find you.

I have contacts.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
While shopping my wife stopped in the make-up section to buy concealer but couldn’t find any.

I now understand why she said it’s the best product on the market.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cigarandcreamsoda
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
🚨︎ report
One of my buddies asked me if I could find out what the largest organ in the human body was.

So I googled and told him exactly what I found.

Basically a skin for a friend.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't find my 'Gone In 60 seconds' DVD.

It was here a minute ago.

πŸ‘︎ 457
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Archeologists will be digging for a lost village near my home. I hope they find some signs of life.

Remains to be seen

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
My shift at work ends at midnight, but I'm a night owl so I find staying up late easy...

...I could stay up until midnight with my eyes closed.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scoo89
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I come up with a really lame two word gay joke the other day that i was afraid my gay mate might find offensive

Butt willy?

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/josuhataylor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
My son's school bus driver told him to quickly find a seat.

"There's one!" he yelled. "Look, there's another one right there! And another over there!"

He walked home that day.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend wanted to know what I look like with my glasses on but i told her I’ve been trying to find them for three days, she said β€œplease I need to see”

I said yeah me too that’s why I’m looking for my glasses

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dabstain
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
There was a joke I wanted to share with my family but I can’t find it on here..

I literally just reddit.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iTzbr00tal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't find my scrubber in the shower

It's aloof-ah

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/abeen30
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I was up all of last night, trying to find my keys

Then it dawned on me

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Folically-endowed
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't find my limbo bar. Someone must have stolen it!

I mean, how low can you go?

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I opened my radiator to find a lone insect, wearing sunglasses and a leather jecket. It said. "ayyyy!"

It was a cool ant.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
When he found out I was sick, my friend messaged me, hoping that I will quickly find a deep hole in a ground full of water.

I'm happy he wished me to get well soon.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I find it really hard to say what my wife does for a living.

She sells seashells by the sea shore.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I couldn't find my pizza cutter last night, so I used an old Bryan Adams album.

Because it cuts like a knife.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShawntheShiba
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Just came home to find all my doors and windows open, everything's gone!

Who would do that to another person's Advent Calendar?!

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Flabbergash
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.

He fits the bill.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sbatio
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my dad I didn’t find any sand dollars in the ocean.

He said it was because we weren’t anywhere near the bank.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/letsgorbg
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Every morning, I wake up to find someone has dumped a box of play doh in front of my door.

I don’t know what to make of it.

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
*Can't find where I parked my van* Me : Damn. Where did my
πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/araitisaname
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I had to go find my kid in a farmers field

My kid said, "Why did you come and get me?"

Me: "Its pasture bed time."

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Apollonius_Cone
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't find the control for my TV.

It must be in a remote location.

πŸ‘︎ 113
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shininglice
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I just drove my new car out of the lot only to find the reverse gear broken.

There’s no going back now.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
It took me 20 minutes to find the mollusk in my fish tank

It was very well clamoflaged

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SeabaSquad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I woke up at midnight to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor staring at me from the foot of my bed...

First I was afraid, I was petrified.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife said, β€œI can’t seem to find my datebook. Do you know where it is?”

I said, β€œSounds like... you have a hidden agenda.”

πŸ‘︎ 164
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I came home to find out that one of my kids tore both the front and the back pages of our dictionary.

Things just went from bad to worse.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
To whoever stole my microsoft account, I will find you...

You have my word.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_NotSlimShady
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend in college was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number.

I wonder what she’s up to now.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
To the person who stole my Microsoft office licence ,I will find you

You have my word

πŸ‘︎ 177
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend called me in a panic and shouted, β€œAn evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! I don’t know what to do!” Frantically, I drove all the way to his house only to find out...

...he’s really a big lyre.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flamingkitten101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
You stole my copy of Microsoft Office. I will find you.

You have my Word.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ConfidentDuck1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
To the person who stole my glasses, I will find you.

I have contacts.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/QuietFalls
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't find my 'Gone in 60 Seconds' DVD.

It was here a minute ago.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.

You have my Word!

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't find the control for my TV.

It must be in a remote location.

πŸ‘︎ 169
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Alex13104
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
ARMSTRONG: I can’t find the milk for my coffee.

ALDRIN: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report

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