I told my son to go find out what "nada" means in english
But he came back with nothing
π︎ 251
π
︎ Apr 01 2021
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
π︎ 216
π
︎ Mar 05 2021
My dad always said, β Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.β
βShe knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.β
π︎ 237
π
︎ Mar 26 2021
My dad always told me βdonβt be quick to find faultsβ.
Good man, terrible geologist.
π︎ 969
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
My girlfriend from college was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number.
I wonder what sheβs up to now.
π︎ 27
π
︎ Mar 28 2021
"Someone help me find my cornucopia!",
The man cried fruitlessly
π︎ 19
π
︎ Apr 07 2021
One astronaut says to another βI canβt find any milk for my coffeeβ
The other astronaut replies βIn space no one can, here use creamβ
π︎ 280
π
︎ Feb 09 2021
My friend called me in a panic and shouted, βAn evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! I donβt know what to do!β Frantically, I drove all the way to his house only to find out...
...heβs really a big lyre.
π︎ 35
π
︎ Apr 02 2021
I can't find my cake anywhere.
I was so excited to eat it for Christmas but it was stollen.
Edit: tried to strengthen the Cake to Stollen connection.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Feb 21 2021
My boss said, βI find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.β
I said, βIt must be my weekend immune system.β
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Sep 28 2020
To the person who stole my spectacles. I will find you.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Sep 17 2020
While shopping my wife stopped in the make-up section to buy concealer but couldnβt find any.
I now understand why she said itβs the best product on the market.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 20 2021
One of my buddies asked me if I could find out what the largest organ in the human body was.
So I googled and told him exactly what I found.
Basically a skin for a friend.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
I can't find my 'Gone In 60 seconds' DVD.
It was here a minute ago.
π︎ 457
π
︎ Nov 23 2020
Archeologists will be digging for a lost village near my home. I hope they find some signs of life.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 18 2021
My shift at work ends at midnight, but I'm a night owl so I find staying up late easy...
...I could stay up until midnight with my eyes closed.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
I come up with a really lame two word gay joke the other day that i was afraid my gay mate might find offensive
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 11 2021
My son's school bus driver told him to quickly find a seat.
"There's one!" he yelled. "Look, there's another one right there! And another over there!"
He walked home that day.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 09 2021
My girlfriend wanted to know what I look like with my glasses on but i told her Iβve been trying to find them for three days, she said βplease I need to seeβ
I said yeah me too thatβs why Iβm looking for my glasses
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
There was a joke I wanted to share with my family but I canβt find it on here..
π︎ 30
π
︎ Jan 08 2021
I can't find my scrubber in the shower
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 02 2021
I was up all of last night, trying to find my keys
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
I can't find my limbo bar. Someone must have stolen it!
I mean, how low can you go?
π︎ 34
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
I opened my radiator to find a lone insect, wearing sunglasses and a leather jecket. It said. "ayyyy!"
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
When he found out I was sick, my friend messaged me, hoping that I will quickly find a deep hole in a ground full of water.
I'm happy he wished me to get well soon.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
I find it really hard to say what my wife does for a living.
She sells seashells by the sea shore.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
I couldn't find my pizza cutter last night, so I used an old Bryan Adams album.
Because it cuts like a knife.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
Just came home to find all my doors and windows open, everything's gone!
Who would do that to another person's Advent Calendar?!
π︎ 18
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
My friendβs parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
I told my dad I didnβt find any sand dollars in the ocean.
He said it was because we werenβt anywhere near the bank.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
Every morning, I wake up to find someone has dumped a box of play doh in front of my door.
I donβt know what to make of it.
π︎ 73
π
︎ Sep 07 2020
*Can't find where I parked my van* Me : Damn. Where did my
π︎ 35
π
︎ Sep 01 2020
I had to go find my kid in a farmers field
My kid said, "Why did you come and get me?"
Me: "Its pasture bed time."
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
I can't find the control for my TV.
It must be in a remote location.
π︎ 113
π
︎ Sep 01 2020
I just drove my new car out of the lot only to find the reverse gear broken.
Thereβs no going back now.
π︎ 41
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
It took me 20 minutes to find the mollusk in my fish tank
It was very well clamoflaged
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
I woke up at midnight to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor staring at me from the foot of my bed...
First I was afraid, I was petrified.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
My wife said, βI canβt seem to find my datebook. Do you know where it is?β
I said, βSounds like... you have a hidden agenda.β
π︎ 164
π
︎ Jul 30 2020
I came home to find out that one of my kids tore both the front and the back pages of our dictionary.
Things just went from bad to worse.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 31 2020
To whoever stole my microsoft account, I will find you...
π︎ 25
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
My girlfriend in college was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number.
I wonder what sheβs up to now.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
To the person who stole my Microsoft office licence ,I will find you
π︎ 177
π
︎ Aug 12 2020
My friend called me in a panic and shouted, βAn evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! I donβt know what to do!β Frantically, I drove all the way to his house only to find out...
...heβs really a big lyre.
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Apr 29 2020
You stole my copy of Microsoft Office. I will find you.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Oct 23 2020
To the person who stole my glasses, I will find you.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ May 11 2020
I can't find my 'Gone in 60 Seconds' DVD.
It was here a minute ago.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jan 29 2020
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
I can't find the control for my TV.
It must be in a remote location.
π︎ 169
π
︎ Jun 27 2020
ARMSTRONG: I canβt find the milk for my coffee.
ALDRIN: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 24 2020
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