Oh! False One, You Have Deceiv'd Me
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stretch_Aye
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I once glued a set of false teeth onto a boomerang...

... that came back to bite me.

πŸ‘︎ 96
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slatersays22
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I’m not sure if it’s true or false that he is the Prime Minister of Canada, but that his name is Justin

is Trudeau

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DutchBlob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Scam warning: do not reply to any job offers from Braxton Hicks.

It's false labor.

πŸ‘︎ 81
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ash-leg2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you can 2 false statements that are so bad they stun you?

Paralyze (pair of lies)

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
When I go grocery shopping, I always buy one pear

And then demand a second one, due to false advertising

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_lp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Where do mansplainers get their water?

From a well, actually..

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/safiyah-l
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I was walking down the street and I heard someone saying hello in Arabic.

Turns out it was a false salaam.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I just saw a homeless man get arrested for cloaking himself in a blanket the cops falsely accused him of stealing...

It was a bum wrap.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My mother's mother lost her false teeth at the retirement home. We searched the place everywhere but couldn't find them.

We looked in every nook and granny!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I knew this girl who wanted bigger boobs, but couldn't afford proper implants, so she had her uncle make her a false set out of pine.Would be great if I had a punchline to go with that though,

Would be great if I had a punchline to go with that though, wooden tit?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMBiSH
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
People always say "let that sink in"

But there is never a sink at the door

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/XsuperTacoBoyX
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
🀣
πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EnergizerBunnyCJ
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
How are false teeth like stars?

They come out at night!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Teacher: β€œTrue or False? The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia.”

Student: β€œFalse. It was written in ink.”

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RobRoy333
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My kid came home in tears after one too many True/False tests...

something needs to be done about boolean in schools

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/errsta
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call George Washington's false teeth?

Presidentures

πŸ‘︎ 369
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/danwright32
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2018
🚨︎ report
When I was 12, I was disqualified from a track meet for too many false starts. To cheer me up, my Dad...

took me to Dairy Queen. As he handed me my medium Skor Blizzard he said, "Here you go, a DQ you can feel good about." I laughed and felt better.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2016
🚨︎ report
What did the cheetah say when she was falsely accused by the lioness?

You've got to believe me, I'm not lion!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cyphr0st
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
The leader of a church kept making false doomsday predictions.

The church recently filed to be a non-prophet organization.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IchWillRingen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
🚨︎ report
I told my 3yr old daughter "I'm tired."

"Oh. I thought you were daddy!"

I've never been so proud.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZoooX
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
🚨︎ report
A false statement.

Sleep is for the week.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/qoutes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm on vacation in Vegas, and my hotel falsely advertised views of the Strip

It was a strip tease

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Saw this store in the mall today called Justice, but it seems like false advertising.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GuyFromThePost
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Nothing says false enthusiasm like...

"Cheap Spirits"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tehEPICNESS
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Why do military bases have such little amounts of insects?

Because they are strict no-fly zones.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/minecraftepic420
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I personally invented the idea of using puns in a joke!

OK, that one's patently false.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ghosttwo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently someone got arrested here for making false instruments.

I guess those instruments must have been lyres.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/edderiofer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2015
🚨︎ report
Not your false one

For his school ID card and such, my brother needed to procure a picture of himself, so naturally he took a selfie. He was so proud of this selfie that he shared it on Facebook, and captioned it "My TRU picture" (TRU being the university he was due to attend).

Our dad was the first commenter, with this gold: "Your Tru picture, not your false one"

My brother could only comment, "Dad why"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/goldanred
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2015
🚨︎ report
Taken off laugh support due to coffin fits
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GentlemanJorge
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2017
🚨︎ report
What would a pirate say on his 80th birthday?

"Aye matey!".

πŸ‘︎ 211
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dankmonseiur69
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
🚨︎ report
How can you tell when Truth tells a lie?

When it makes a False move.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zxphenomenalxz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
When asking for best pickup-lines on Tinder
πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gaypluto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2018
🚨︎ report
I wanted to teach my goldfish to jump, so I took it to a lake in the mountains

But it turns out spring water is just false advertisement

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tDumFlumph
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What is heavy going forward and not going back.

-

-

-

A Ton

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/snyluc13
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a fake wild cat that trips a bunch?

A False-lot.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SoupSter89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
The Struggle is Real
πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nedybonz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2018
🚨︎ report
This baby can do 0 to 60 in 720 months.
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Target359
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Jesus saves!

He uses coupons.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SiLifino
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Thought I heard someone say β€œHello” in Arabic

But it was a false Salaam.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Plumsby
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
How are false teeth like stars?

They come out at night!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
How are false teeth like stars?

They come out at night!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
How are false teeth like stars?

They come out at night!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
How are false teeth like stars?

They come out at night!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.