Why couldn't Abraham Lincoln be arrested?
Penny production with Abraham Lincoln’s face seems to be quite low this year.
"I ain't afraid of no holy ghost." ~ The Virgin Murray.
John F. Kennedy and Abraham Lincoln,
It FINALLY happened.
Almost 40 and growing my beard out for the first time. Wife finally says "You know I'm starting to like it." And I could finally say "Yeah. It's growing on me."
If Abraham Lincoln had gone on a hunger strike there would have been an Emaciation Proclamation.
What do Abraham Lincoln biographies and Instagram promoters have in common?
G – A – B – C – D – E – G – F#
Damn!
I just majorly fucked up.
Anyone want to help me make a TV show about Abraham Lincoln?
The plan is to shoot it in front of a live audience.
What did Abraham Lincoln say when he watched a Call of Duty killcam?
What kind of vacuum did Abraham own?
"Son, I heard you got punished for using the 'F ' word in class. That wasn't fun was it ?"
When you get an f on something you worked hard on
You know it’s an f for eFfort
NBC is coming up with a docudrama about the life of Abraham Lincoln.
The finale will be shot before a live audience.
Did you know Abraham Lincoln lived in Pennsylvania?
Surely you've heard of his Gettysburg Address!
Murray Christmas Everyone!!! (Side note- I don't take credit for this, but it's too great not to share)
Why did the cannibal love Abraham Lincoln?
Because of the greatest speech ever written, "Four score and seven ears ago..."
How do I know Abraham Lincoln never had trouble with the law?
Why was the music teacher fired?
For having students read band books.
Why hasn't Abraham Lincoln ever been charged with a crime?
I'm the proud owner of an axe that once belonged to Abraham Lincoln...
I replaced the head once,and the handle twice, but it feels good to own a piece of American history.
Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln guilty?
I asked my blonde g/f, "What do you call a creature that is half man and half animal?"
In a flash she said, "Buffalo Bill."
Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet?
They looked at the reviews, but we only had one star
You know they say JFK and Abraham Lincoln were the most open minded presidents
Dad: “How are your grades, son?” Son: “They’re underwater, Dad.” Dad: “What do you mean, underwater?”
Son: “They’re below C level”
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10." But what I still don’t get is why...
She wanted me to urinate on a skeleton.
I like the simplicity of split firewood.
I found out my girlfriend is really a ghost.
I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.
What does Mission Impossible's star give when he f**ks up?
A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z
What did Abraham Lincoln say when he was arrested?
Why is it easier to take an F-150 across a river than a Silverado?
Bc no one ever Chevy’d a river
Abraham was the smartest man in the Bible. He knew a Lot.
"Son !!! I heard you got punished for using the 'F' word in class. That wasn't fun, was it ?"
Who is the most open-minded president?
What kind of vacuum would Abraham have?
NBC is developing a new realistic docudrama about Abraham Lincoln.
The finale will be shot before a live audience.
I own an axe that belonged to Abraham Lincoln
I replaced the head once,and the handle has been replaced twice.
HBO is making a new docudrama about the life of Abraham Lincoln.
The finale will be shot before a live audience.
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