After Napoleon, Josephine de La Pagerie married Prince Kerkes Arpad. This union gave birth to Prince Pierre Arpad (1811-1860). Pierre Arpad recieved the County of Provence, which his three sons succeded to after him.
I was bored writing my dissertation and this is the result. Didn't include fictional rappers because those could get pretty ridiculous, but I might someday. Included last words because I find them interesting, but keep in mind that last words, especially those before the modern era, are famously bullshit, so take most of this with a lot of salt.
I was expecting there to be a lot more battle references than there actually were.
John Lennon
Death: Shot four times in the torso by obsessed fan Mark David Chapman in the archway of his New York residence, age 40 (Dec 8, 1980 – New York, USA)
Last Words: “I’m shot, I’m shot!”
Battle Reference: None
Adolf Hitler
Death: Suicide by self-inflicted gunshot as his bunker was close to being taken by Soviet forces, age 56 (April 30, 1945 – Berlin, Germany)
Last Words: “Above all, I charge the leadership of the nation and their followers with the strict observance of the racial laws and with merciless resistance against the universal poisoners of all peoples, international Jewry.” (last will)
Battle Reference: “But when your bunker started getting fired up, you put a gun in your mouth and fired up” (Note: Hitler actually shot himself in the temple)
Abraham Lincoln
Death: Shot in the head by Confederate sympathizer John Wilkes Booth while watching a play, age 56 (April 14 1865 –Washington D.C., USA)
Last Words: When asked by his wife Mary whether their friend would mind them holding hands: “She won’t think anything about it”
Battle Reference: “My raps will blow your mind like a verbal John Wilkes Booth”, “You stop bullets with your tears? I catch them with my skull”, “I fought for what was on my brain until a bullet went through it.”
Macho Man Randy Savage
Death: Sudden heart attack while driving with his wife. Found to have an enlarged heart and advanced coronary artery disease. Age 58 (May 20, 2011 – Largo, USA)
Last Words: “I don’t feel too good”
Battle Reference: None, happened after battle
Kim Jong-Il
Death: Massive heart attack while traveling by train, according to state of media, although some contest this story. Age 70 (Dec 17, 2011 – Pyongyang, North Korea)
Last Words: Unknown
Battle Reference: None, happened after the battle
**Ludwig van Beeth
... keep reading on reddit ➡I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”
“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.
Mentos
(I will see myself out)
The doctor says it terminal.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.
Gender is fluid.
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
He’s the new temp.
And now I’m cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
And boy are my arms legs.
Amy
Put it on my bill
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
He lost May
But let me give it a shot.
