Emily Robison Puns

Phil

Babylist publishes user-submitted names of babies born each week, sorted by date born. I went ahead and alphabetized, sorted by assumed sex of the child to better parse any trends.

This list is pretty varied! I feel like this highlights the data behind a lot of comments recently reminding people that popular names are not as popular as they used to be. Only names I caught duplicates of were Eloise (2), Sophia (2), Elliot(t) (2), and Oliver (3). Also, I guess Rayne and Reign are the same name.

Favorites? Surprises?

Girls:

Adelaide Jo - 2/10/21

Adeline Violet - 2/9/21

Amelia Rowan - 2/8/21

Anastasia Raelyn - 2/9/21

Averis Jolee - 2/9/21

Avery Eleanor - 2/10/21

Brooke Penelope - 2/14/21

Carmen Analee - 2/13/21

Cassie Lee - 2/9/21

Charlotte Charlie Mae - 2/12/21

Dayanara Kateri - 2/14/21

Elaine - 2/13/21

Elizabeth - 2/8/21

Eloise - 2/13/21

Eloise Rayne - 2/9/21

Emily Lucy - 2/9/21

Emma Leigh - 2/12/21

Everest Joann - 2/10/21

Faye Makena - 2/12/21

Giselle - 2/8/21

Grace - 2/10/21

Hazel Sage - 2/10/21

Juliana Grace - 2/12/21

June - 2/12/21

Kamila - 2/12/21

Kseniya Anastasja - 2/8/21

Liza B - 2/8/21

Louise Jane - 2/14/21

Lucia Eva - 2/13/21

Lyla Sage - 2/9/21

Mackenzie Jean - 2/10/21

Madeline Rose - 2/11/21

Matilda Ann - 2/8/21

Natalie Rose - 2/10/21

Nayla Lily - 2/12/21

Nora - 2/13/21

Olivia Domenica - 2/9/21

Piper Michelle - 2/10/21

Rayne Heaven - 2/9/21

Reign Georgia Rose - 2/11/21

Rion Debrah - 2/12/21

Saige Desire - 2/8/21

Sloane Mai Xuan - 2/10/21

Sophia Faith - 2/13/21

Sophia Grace - 2/14/21

Tiana Marie - 2/11/21

Trinity J - 2/12/21

Violet Hope - 2/9/21

Winifred Kindness - 2/10/21

Boys:

Ace Walker And Adonis Miles - 2/12/21

Adam James - 2/13/21

Akeem - 2/10/21

Alexander William - 2/11/21

Andrew James - 2/9/21

Arlen John - 2/12/21

Caleb Dionne - 2/11/21

Cato William - 2/14/21

Charles - 2/13/21

Cole Robison - 2/9/21

Cristoforo - 2/11/21

Darian Greyson - 2/10/21

Decclan Barry - 2/8/21

Dillon Ann - 2/11/21

Emmitt Wesley - 2/13/21

Elliot Victor - 2/13/21

Ethan Thomas - 2/10/21

Faris Lee - 2/12/21

Felix Maxwell - 2/9/21

Finn Hayes - 2/12/21

George Thomas - 2/12/21

Giovanni Mateo - 2/8/21

Grady Duane - 2/11/21

Graham Walker - 2/12/21

Grayson - 2/14/21

Hayes Levi - 2/9/21

Henry - 2/11/21

Isaac Mason - 2/13/21

Jack Henry - 2/8/21

Jameson Barren - 2/12/21

Jaxon Michael - 2/9/21

Jayden Morgan - 2/10/21

Jermaine - 2/12/21

Julian Antonio - 2/12/21

Kayden Ethan - 2/12/21

Kloud

Sudden Lee

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

So far nobody has given me a straight answer

..... Will get a reward.

Well, toucan play at that game.

Windows

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

She said apple-lutely

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.

I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.

When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."

From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"

Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.

Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

Japan.

"No, the regular kind!" I laughed.

second hand stores!

it's Hans free now..

Now, I must confess, I’m really not sure how much use this will prove to be, primarily because I haven’t included any information on any cases besides the victim’s name (or alias, in some instances). There are two main reasons for this - the first is that this list, like the title surmises, is very long, and I’m not actually sure of the character limit on Reddit (or even if one exists). The other is that I personally enjoy conducting research myself, rather than having someone else do it for me, purely out of self-fulfilment and learned interest. So, I apologise to those who would’ve been satisfied with brief summaries of each case, as this post may not be for you.

Over the next couple days, I will be making two more posts, one concerning disappearances, and the other deaths.

Three quick disclaimers - although I’m not especially new to Reddit, I’m fairly poor when it comes to laying out my posts, so I apologise in advance. In addition to this, whilst the cases are categorised into decades, and some are in chronological order, others are not. This came from using multiple sources. Again, I am very sorry. Finally, the overwhelming majority of these are classed as homicides, but there may be a couple that are legally questionable.

Thank you guys! I will be linking a couple websites at the bottom, but these cases are simply to get you started, so feel free to use any sources you wish. Just hoping I didn’t miss any major ones.

Before 1800s

Ötzi the Iceman

Caesarion

Emperor Valentinian II

King Dagobert II

Emperor Taizu of Song

Momia Juanita

The Holy Child of La Guardia

Giovanni Borgia

Moctezuma II

Robert Pakington

The Plomo Mummy

Isaac Dorislaus

Sir Edmund Berry Godfrey

Alessandro Stradella

Jean-Marie Leclair

1800-1899

Elijah Paris Lovejoy

Mary Rogers

Helen Jewett

Françoise de Choiseul-Praslin

Sakamoto Ryōma

Nakaoka Shintarō

Thomas C. Hindman

Alexander Boyd

Robert V. Richardson

Benjamin Nathan

Juan Prim

Sharon Tyndale

Henry Weston Smith

George Colvocoresses

Arthur St. Clair

Martin DeFoor

The Donnelly Family

John Henry Blake

Charles Bravo

The Rahway John Doe

The Whitehall Mystery

John M. Clayton

Belle Starr

The Gatton Murders

William Goebel

1901-1924

Bertha Schippan

Rose Harsent

Al Swearengen

John Otunba Payne

Jeanne Van Calck

Marinos Antypas

Pat Garrett

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

The Guangxu Emperor

Elsie Sigel

Elsie Paroubek

Joseph Wilson

The Villisca Axe Murders

Eugene H. Grace

Ma

Old Neeeeiiiiighvy

A buck-an-ear!

I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!

Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!

and not:

He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.

That was the punchline

Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:

Riceless

It’s for Hispanic attacks

Without missing a beat he asks "Daddy, do you know how much room you need to grow Fungi like that?"

I did not know.

So he tells me "as Mushroom as possible!"

So proud.

Feyonce

10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too