Man...NYC really dropped the ball this year didn't they
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wjohnson048
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I dropped my Crystal Ball and it shattered.

I should've seen it coming.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/evilgeekwastaken
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2016
🚨︎ report
I dropped and smashed my disco ball today.

Now I've got 7000 years bad luck.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/December_Soul
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I had to throw out all the snacks my wife made for New Year's Eve as soon as the ball dropped

They were a year old

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joey_Jingle_Bells
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
It's only been here for a minute but 2017's already dropped the ball
πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Madmagican-
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Sports Authority Dropped The Ball. Now It's Anyone's Game forbes.com/sites/elyrazin…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrediFi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2016
🚨︎ report
So this was just dropped on me as the ball dropped...

Dad: So where do you plan to be in 4 years? What are your goals?

Me: Well I guess I'll be in my final year of school but I'm not really sure

Dad: Oh really? I don't have 2020 vision

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WiggyHD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2016
🚨︎ report
Dad dropped a ball on this one.

So I was about to leave my house to my buddies, and my girlfriend said that she wanted to get some tea from Starbucks.

Gf: Can we get some Starbucks?

Me: Ok, why?

Gf: I want tea

Me: We have tea here

Gf: yea but I want that type of tea

Me: Ok...let's go get you your special tea

Dad: I guess you can say she wants the "speciality" of the day

.....,.........,......

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingKicker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad dropped this one while watching the Ball St. University football team playing.

"Man, I bet when the refs make a bad call their fans get reeeeeal testy!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bromosapien234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2014
🚨︎ report
A friend told me that the ball drop was a minute late

The ball was dropped at the ball drop.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fleeves
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Donald Trump should drop the ball in Times Square on New Years Eve

He certainly has plenty of experience

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DigThisMyBrother
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad: so at the ball drop we all have to put our left leg in the air

Me: why

Dad: so we can start the new year on the right foot!

Me: why are you the way that you are

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonisJive
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear they are trying to get Barbara Walters to host the New Years Eve ball drop?

We will bring in the New Year with "I am Barbara Walters and this is 2020"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/liveyourdash3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Watching the ball drop is a reminder of what I did all last year
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
On FaceTime with my girlfriend before the ball drop

She realized it was 11:59, and grabbed her remote trying to find the channel the ball drop is on. She failed to do so, and I made my best disappointed sigh and told her "Wow babe you really dropped the ball".

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnJaysOnMyFeet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2017
🚨︎ report
I don't know why people expect Time's Square to put on a decent New Year's Eve show.

They're always dropping the ball.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elnateo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I love playing catch with my kids.

But after I dropped one we have to use a ball now.

πŸ‘︎ 626
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hamsternoir
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
The New Year's celebration at Times Square was pretty disappointing.

They really dropped the ball this time.

πŸ‘︎ 420
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I really wish I had made a pun about how we celebrate New Years Eve in Times Square.

I really dropped the ball on that one.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajd011394
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad just got a new TV...

...and we were discussing first title he could watch on his new television.

Dad: "I think I'll watch 'Gravity' first"

Me: "I saw that one."

Dad: "Where did you see that?"

Me: "Pirate Bay."

Dad: "Was it in 3D?"

Me: "Nope. Pirate Bay doesn't have any movies in 3D."

Dad: "Why not?"

Me: "Because of the eye patches."

It took a few seconds for the penny to drop.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ign1fy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2014
🚨︎ report
124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

β€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, β€˜The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

β€œI’ll call you later!”- β€œPlease don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

β€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: β€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”

β€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, β€˜No, just leave it in the carton!’”

I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: β€œWow, that’s coincidental.”

I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.

β€œMe: β€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: β€˜Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”

β€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

β€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it

β€œWhat’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: β€œDon’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: β€œNo, it’s a math problem.”

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weeb123xD
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Man, I sucked at my basketball game yesterday...

I really dropped the ball.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Majikin__
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I hear there aren't enough bathrooms for the NYE celebration in Time Square.

They really dropped the ball on that one.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepobv
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm not impressed with the people who organize the New Year's celebration in Times Square

They always drop the ball.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThisGuy21321
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Us Christians managed to repurpose all the old pagan holidays, well, except for New Years.

We really dropped the ball on that one.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kmaheynoway
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Halloween Puns

Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.


Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!


Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!


For Halloween I’m going to write β€œLife” on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers


This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues


β€œHalloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.


Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!


I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.


How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!


When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day


What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!


What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood


What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us


What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A β€œhollow-weenie!”


Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost (goes).


How do you write a book about halloween? With a ghostwriter.



I’m going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do… by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely,


Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, β€œA lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?” The other monster replied, β€œBe a gentleman and roll them back to her.


The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something you’re not will lead to a sweet reward.


I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s Election night.


I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so I’m dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.


Why dident the skeleten go to the halloween party? Becuse he had no body to go with.


What did the bird say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!


What do Italian’s eat on Halloween? Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)


Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.


What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!


What do ghosts eat for supper? Spooketi


What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it’s Halloween!!


What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? Spelling.

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2017
🚨︎ report
I got my physics class a while back.

We divided into groups and the lab was to use the measured volume and diameter of various spheres to find our own approximation of pi. So we had to use marbles and some ball bearings. We get to our station to start measuring when a girl in my group says:

Her:"Hey, where'd the blue marble go?"

Me: "I don't know. It'll be fine though, so don't... lose your marbles"

Her:nearly slaps me

I said it a few times that class, and when some other group dropped a marble down the drain I said it loud enough to get a groan from the whole class.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fortisrufus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2016
🚨︎ report
Dad joked my geometry teacher in high school.

Mr. Z brought out the blue plastic examples of shapes (pyramids, cubes, rectangular prisms, etc.) and he when he brought out the sphere, he accidentally dropped it:

Me: Wow, I guess you really dropped the ball on that one.

Cue moans. The teacher was the only one that laughed. I was proud.

Edit: grammar

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/veetoe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2014
🚨︎ report
I don't see why Mariah Carey is getting so much abuse.

Every year at Times square someone drops the ball.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Szczesnyy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2017
🚨︎ report
The Times Square event organizers have a big night ahead of them...

Hope they don't drop the ball...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prosciuttolover
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2017
🚨︎ report
More clever than usual.

My dad and I were watching the ball drop when Miley started performing 'Wrecking Ball'.

He turns to me and says, "Knock, knock"

Me, "Oh God, who's there?"

Him, "Hakeem"

Me, "Hakkem who?"

and right as the chorus came on, he sings at the top of his lungs,

"HAKEEEEEEM INNN LIKEEE A WREEECKKKKINNNGG BALLLL!"

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatkid1441
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2014
🚨︎ report
New Year's Eve in the NICU

So, not my dad, but my mom's a neonatologist (she works on sick and premature newborns) and she has to work tonight (New Year's Eve).

I jokingly asked if they had a ball drop in the NICU, and to my surprised, she said yes.

"When the testes descend."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/silentxem
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2015
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do 5 year old boys hate New Years?

Their balls haven’t dropped.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaesquared
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
The New Year's celebration at Times Square was pretty disappointing.

They really dropped the ball this year.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Son, do you know how to tell if a girl is ticklish?

Give her a test tickle.

πŸ‘︎ 122
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ericesquire
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2015
🚨︎ report
Time square messed up big time.

They dropped the ball again last night

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/therealtechnird
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Everyone remember for tonight [New Years]:

When that ball drops: β€œLooks like he dropped the ball.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Visca_Barca47
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2018
🚨︎ report
from the ask reddit thread on lame jokes.
  • I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
  • When chemists die, they barium.
  • Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
  • A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
  • I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
  • How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
  • I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
  • This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
  • I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
  • I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
  • They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.
  • This dyslexic man walks into a bra.
  • I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
  • A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils.
  • When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
  • What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
  • I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
  • Broken pencils are pointless.
  • What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
  • England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
  • I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
  • I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
  • I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
  • Velcro - what a rip off!
  • Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cffff
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2013
🚨︎ report
She asked if i had any fun plans for New Years.

Nope, I'm afraid i dropped the ball on this one.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jwoggledawg
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2015
🚨︎ report

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