My socially anxious friend just got a PhD in palindrome studies.

I call him Dr. Awkward

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moc_gordy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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I have a friend with no social skills and a Ph.D in the history of palindromes.

I call him Dr. Awkward.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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Priest, vicar and rabbit go to give blood.

Dr β€œ what blood type are you rabbit?”

To which the rabbit replies,

Rabbit β€œ probably a Type-O”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DubberOrNothing
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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Which one of the bees do all the sick bees in the beehive go to?

The Dr one

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
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An hysterical woman went to see her doctor because she was peeing coins.

She explained that it started out as pennies, then nickels and now dimes! Her Dr. said it was nothing to worry about, she was just going through the change.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
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I was watching Across the Universe and got thinking about how much each actor made

I’m sure Dr. Robert did it pro Bono, though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cathbad09
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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I had to undergo a 6 week course of radiotherapy last year on my salivary glands.

Every week, I had an appointment with a doctor where they would ask me about my health. They would ask me the same usual questions. This is how it would go:

Dr: Do you get a dry mouth?

Me: Yes but I drink water to compensate.

Dr: Any issues with hearing?

Me: Sorry?

Dr (louder): any issues with hearing?

Me: Beg your pardon?

Dr starts laughing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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I guess you could say I was destined to be a dermatologist.

Hello. I'm Dr. Lance Boyle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/logansworth
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
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What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr Dre.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mitalily
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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My son just asked what do you call a lazy doctor

Dr Doolittle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mycorona69
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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Dr dr..

Me: Dr dr, i always take s poo at 8:00am sharp, every morning,!

Dr: sorry I don't see how that's a problem.

Me: I wake up at 9:00am...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jambo2016
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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Mommy tomato, daddy tomato, and baby tomato were all out for a leisurely Sunday stroll

They walked through the flower gardens at the park. They skimmed stones across the lake. They fed the ducks bread.

It was a perfect Sunday.

Then daddy tomato had a call that his brother was in hospital. Across the road was a bus destined for that very place.

They ran back through the park dodging ducks and tripping on stones and getting tangled in foliage. Baby tomato was starting to lag a little. So daddy tomato, in a panic, shot glances at the arriving bus and his helpless offspring. He Ran to his son and with all his might squashed him into the pavement with his Dr Martins boots and said

"Ketchup"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
A new disease is sweeping the world. It's a type of nostril infection, very costly to test for

But one man, born with extra sensitive smelling, has been providing free exams to the public to eradicate this new threat. Dr. Theodore Nose of UCH Hospital has a long line of patients waiting every morning, wanting the incredible accuracy of this man.

And as his secretary says...

No one's nose knows noses like Nose's nose knows noses.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRichTookItAll
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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What’s the difference between a doctor and a priest ?

When the dr touches your nuts it’s strictly business.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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I heard that the jalapeΓ±o finally finished school.

He is now known as Dr. Pepper

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fanoran
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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Who does Mr. Salt go to when he has back pain?

Dr. Pepper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodEveningItsAsa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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Yo! Did you know the greatest rapper ever was Jewish?

Dr. Dre-idel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drogers5606
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Many people are unaware that Sherlock Holmes is based on Doctor Joseph Bell

In his practice, Dr. Bell sometimes had to treat constipation. That's how he learned to de-deuce.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NathanielleS
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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I was told I can’t have kids

I went to the Dr.s office and was told I couldn’t have kids. Surely this had to be a mistake. I asked was there not any chance? The doctor turned to me and said while not impossible my chances were inconceivable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnyquest910
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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I didn’t think brain surgery was ethnical...

But after a successful surgery the Dr changed my mind

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RICKDOGG424
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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I stopped drinking Coke

Dr. Pepper highly recommended that i should stop

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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They finally caught the guy who's been putting hot sauce in beer mugs

His name: Dr. Frank's-in-stein.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zombie-narwhals
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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If you suffer from sneezing fits, DO NOT make an appointment with...

Dr. Pepper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unfussed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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The WHO have a German Doctor now heading up their COVID response..

.. He's Dr Hans Sanitizer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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Dad Joked by daughter

I had to go to court and was wearing a suit and tie. My 10 year old daughter thought this was fantastic for dress up was very interested. I took this as a teachable moment and wanted to tell her about showing respect for your personal appearance and showing up professionally. So I asked her, do you know why I dressed like this? She said to be professional. I said I want to show that I respect myself and I have respect for the court so I dressed accordingly. She laughed and said, "You mean you dressed acourtingly."

tl;dr

Daughter dad joked me about wearing a suit about dressing accourtingly

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notactjack
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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Did you hear about the vampire with a doctorate

His name was Dr. Acula

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paradigm_Shiftz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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Woman: So your brother says you're really into bodybuilding?

Dr. Frankenstein:

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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What's a survivalist's favourite drink?

Dr Prepper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DemonicSquid
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My doctor bit my neck and tried to give me a hickey.

1 star review for Dr. Acula

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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What is the name of the polar bear therapist living at the north pole?

Dr. Sanity Claws

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Foamy07
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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Dad: Who is the most famous Doctor?

Son: What?

Dad: Not Dr What son... close.. who

Son: Who?

Dad: Yes

Son: Who’s Dr Yes?

Dad: No, Who is who

Son: In the the zoo?

Dad: No, who isn’t in the zoo.

Son: What?

Dad: He’s on second.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CouldIRunTheZoo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My wrists are killing me from driving my coworkers everyday through tunnels and traffic.

Dr. Says I have a bad case of car pool tunnel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaxxonn26
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My Dr said I have to take these pills the rest of my life.

I said but the box says enough for 2 weeks?

The dr said.. that’s right.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mycorona69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.

Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/swaggerdagger54
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
If I’m being subjective, the greatest sci-fi series of all time is Dr. Who.

If I’m being objective, it’s Dr. Whom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend’s dissertation was on nerds who love palindromes.

He is now Dr.Awkward.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
🚨︎ report
What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr. Dre

Edit: Thanks for the silver kind stranger!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wrxpk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr. Dre

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πŸ‘€︎ u/legendary-jake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?

Dr. Dre

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πŸ‘€︎ u/baconlover09
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What's brown and rhymes with "snoop"?

dr. dre

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jradio610
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Crap joke

What's brown and rhymes with snoop?
Dr Dre

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trevorantifreeze
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop

Dr. Dre

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjeters
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr. Dre

πŸ‘︎ 414
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πŸ‘€︎ u/That-Big-Man-J
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s brown and rhymes with Snoop

Dr. Dre

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πŸ‘€︎ u/howell1812
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What is brown and rhymes with Snoop?

Dr. Dre

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chall101
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
🚨︎ report

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