My girlfriend is a dork

We’re laying in bed together talking about shoes (we’re young but pretty much could be 45) and she says β€œyeah I just have one pair of sneakers and that’s it” and then a moment later she whispered β€œsneaker shoe, I choose you...” and won’t stop giggling now...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/starshine092418
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
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DORK!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/catchingfire3HG
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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Dork Dork Dork you eat soup with a

Spoon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelson93
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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This belongs here, The Only Metroid Boss Worse Than Mother Brain (A Dorkly video)

http://www.dorkly.com/video/71943/the-only-metroid-boss-worse-than-mother-brain

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stfudonny
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2015
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Tonight, my daughter assisted me in hanging a new medicine cabinet.

Me: I think I measured wrong. The toggle bolts aren't lining up with the darned holes. Man, I really screwed this up.

Her: Did you........make a pun?

Me: concentrating on the task at hand Huh?

Her: Never mind.

Me: gets it Ha! No, but that's awesome! "Screwed" it up. Ha! You're a PunMaster!

Her: You're a dork.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GTFOakaFOD
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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Co-worker said: "I was thinking about turning 30 this morning"

I said: "You'll have to wait until your birthday"

I don't have any children.

πŸ‘︎ 567
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crizto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2015
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What happens when a nerdy day turns to night?

It gets dork out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nohatmonkey
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
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What do you call really awesome chapstick?

The balm.

Edit: My wife's response:

"God you're such a dork."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattAU05
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2016
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I should have laughed...

So my dad loves to tell jokes, not one has ever been funny. So one day my GF was over and he decided to share a joke with her. He does. I look at him and I'm like "cmon Dad, that's horrible! U can do better" and laughed kinda like I was pitying him. He goes u think ur so cool huh?" He then got up grabbed me and locked me between his legs. So u all can understand, I'm 16 5"8 and thin. So not many people can't beat me. My dad is 6"3 and jacked. He looks likes mark wahlberg, from pain and gain, and that's not an overstatement. He then goes "what should we do now? How about an old fashioned wedgie!" He grabbed my underwear and pulled as hard as he could. "Why do u want to date a nerd that where's briefs? Haha" he's going. She starts laughing a little. He then goes "let's give u (GF) a better view" he then turns me around and lifts me up with a wedgie, "look at this dork dangle by his undies! Take a picture!" She did then pulled hard again and my underwear tore. He looked at me and went "maybe u shouldn't act like ur top dog kid, it'll get ur undies ripped right off." And she shared the pic around school, and know people come up to me saying "dude ur dad Is like a jock who gives u wedgies!" And makes fun of me for it. A couple of the seniors football player pinned me down and wedgied me so bad in the halls my underwear ripped off. And everyone was laughing. At least it happened at the end of the year so I only had 2 week of teasing. People have forgotten about. IT WAS horrible. And humiliating. So now I laugh at his jokes no matter how cringey they are, cause I fear his wedgies. Because their not regular. There delivered by a man who's biceps are bigger than my head. It's very painful. SO THE LESSON IS TO ALWAYS LAUGH AT DAD JOKES, escpeically if he can dangle u by ur undies!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kwiikberg
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2017
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Girlfriend got herself today

My girlfriend broke a nail at work today and told me the story after dinner.

GF: I was gonna do my nails tonight but now its pointless.

I chuckled to myself until she realized what she said. She then called me a dork and left the room. I guess I'm doing the dishes tonight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/squeeshka
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2015
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My Daughter Was Not Pleased

My family spent an afternoon at Fisherman's Wharf. My daughter and I were taking pictures of the sea lions. Several of them started making noise. So I said to my daughter,"The sea lions saw you. They're saying Dork, Dork, Dork".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pblood40
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2014
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Got my friend with a good one the other day

So my friend is a photographer and always notices the lighting and comments on how it would be for taking photos. We walk out my house and it's all gloomy.

Me: Ugh, it's so gloomy out. Her: I love it! The low key lighting is great for photos! Me: As opposed to Thor lighting? Her: Grooaaannn....

Haha 'low key' = 'Loki'? Ehh, I'm a dork

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LockManipulator
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2015
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