Donald Mcdonald Puns

Me: What does Ronald McDonald do when he's angry?

Her: (sigh) What??

Me: He McGrrrrs

Her: (groan) please stop......

Me: Does that make you Grimace? (Chuckles)

Her: swift elbow to my ribs You tell me! * Sticks tongue out*

Remember, only come here for cringe, Because this is the ultimate Pun Collection.

1. What does McDonalds say to the tray when it betrays them? "You traytor!"
2. Does Spider Man live in an egg? Because i heard he lives in New Yolk.
3. These puns aren't very eggciting.
4. lettuce taco bout it?
5. I will asalt you with puns!
6. What if your problem involves telling a phone? JUST TELEPHONE ALREADY!
7. What if Jake stands close to Johnny when talking? He Here's Johnny!
8. Stop asalting my hard with your judging pursesonality!
9. I'll play the Yandere Simulater later.
10. You herd about that show? It's called Spongebob Swearpants.
11. Why did you diss stew me? (kinda hard to get, but just say it out loud.)
12. What does someone say sarcastically in the middle of an intense war that was caused by someone? TANKS TO YOU!
13. What type of plane that loves bounce? Boeing!
14. How many money did we owe? It said it on the letter right? I don't know, you should've reddit!

I'm sorry for the cringe...

I was working nightshift at McDonalds and a dad and his son wanted some ice cream, chocolate, specifically. The machine wasnt acting right so I interjected and said, "the chocolate ice cream works, it's just acting funny" and the dad swoops in and asks, "does it tell jokes?

Lol, on last year's Valentine's day my best friend had got mad at me for not asking my crush out.

We'd planned on going to McDonald's together because he didn't have a date either. When I arrived at McDonald's this f*cker was holding a cardboard box with a terrified look and when he saw me he immediately gave me the box and told me he'd already bought the food and that we better take the bus to my place. I just thought he probably was joking or something because the box didn't even have any kind of decoration, it even had a chips brand printed on it, but as we got to the bus and sat I felt something moving inside, I thought maybe it was a puppy or something, but why did he look scared of it?

So, we get to my house, I go to my backyard, where my then 7yo beagle was and I open the box. I could only see a black blur flying out of it and then heard my best friend scream. It was a rooster. He's terrified of birds. And weirdest of all it was a fully grown rooster but he was super tiny, like 10 inches tall tiny.

I asked him wtf was going on and he just kinda hid behind the backyard door and said "I bought it so that you could get some cock tonight". I always make puns and he hates them, I was speechless. So long story short I now own 6 chickens and 4 roosters (my mom got super mad at him for buying the rooster, but then she got super attached and bought him a chicken, when she laid eggs she let them hatch, the rooster's name is Enrique btw, my mom even made him a birthday party and all last week, lol)

Old McDonald's Server Farm
Very high I/O
And on that farm he had some space
Very high I/O
With a hot swap here and a hot swap there
Here a disk
There a disk
Everywhere a RAID disk
Old McDonald's Server Farm
Very high I/O

I was being annoying to receptionist of McDonald's , coz my food choices were not certain, she got angry and handed me McNuggets, and said “Nugget the hell out of here”

Just got home from a trip to McDonalds with my dad. The till worker's name tag was ivonna.

My dad catches on quickly with a big grin oh his face.

"Ivonna bacon swiss melt". ..........

Really?

I went through a McDonald's drive-thru and ordered a quarter-pounder meal. The cashier wanted to confirm my order:

Her: Did you have the quarter meal?

Me: No, I wanted the whole thing.

We were driving by a vacant building that used to be a McDonald's. It's been vacant a few months and now there's a big "For Lease" sign on the property.

Her: "Looks like they're having trouble renting the McDonald's."
Me: "Yeah, I heard they had to hire a big realty company."
Her: "Really?"
Me: "Yeah. Old McDonald's has a firm."

The wedding is still on.

1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds

2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do

3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage

4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with

5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate

6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets

7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living

8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist

9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does

10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money

11. MISTY: How golfers create divots

12. PARADOX: Two physicians

13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower

14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm

15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with

16. PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV

17. RELIEF: What trees do in the spring

18. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife

19. SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does

20. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official

We pull into the drive-thru at McDonalds and my dad noticed all of the "free wifi" signs, so when who pulled up to collect our order he said to the woman working there "I would also like to order one free wifi, to go please". When the drive-thru lady finally got it, she let out a mighty sigh of defeat.

We were at McDonalds getting a coffee when she asked me to go to the separate counter and get her come sugar.

I replied with, "Why? You're already so sweet."

The woman making the coffee dropped it because she was laughing so hard and the old couple behind me burst out laughing.

I can't wait til I become a father.

We responded code 3 (lights and sirens) to a local McDonalds for a patient who had been burned. We get the patient in to the back of the ambulance for privacy and provide some more care. As I move up to the front so we can transport to the hospital, a vehicle pulls up right next to us. An older gentleman rolls down the window and without even a smirk asks, "So is the food really that bad?"

So this just happened after I got my girlfriend some water at McDonalds because she was thirsty.

GF: "oww!" Me: "What's wrong?" GF: "I have a cut in my mouth and the cold water hurts when it gets in it" Me: "Oh I'm sorry" GF: "its really getting on my nerves" Me: .................

"Burger King passed by McDonalds the other day and let out a Whopper."

Whenever we're going somewhere that requires a substantial amount of driving time (at least two hours) my family stops at a McDonalds or something for food. My dad will always order a coffee and be a little unclear about his order so the server will have to ask if he wants sugar in his coffee to which he will reply "no thanks, I'm sweet enough".

Everytime my dad has to go to a fast food place like McDonald's or KFC and he gets to the window to pick up his food he acts all confused and says

"I didn't order this? Where's my extra large pizza with everything on it?"

They either laugh or just stare for a minute

When I was little, Dad used to treat me to an icecream Sundae from McDonald's every now and then. The only thing was, these days never seemed to fall on an actual Sunday. "Yes my good man, one Chocolate Tuesday please!"

Went to McDonald's with some fellow students after TAFE was finished for the day (for those who don't know what TAFE is, I guess the most similar thing would be community college?), and somehow one of the girls ended getting crumbs on her hat: "How did they get there?!" "I guess it's just a crummy hat."

Whenever me and my siblings would go to McDonald's or something with my mom.

"Drive-thru person: Here's your food, do you need anything else?

Mom: No thanks, I think we're fine!

Drive-thru person: Would you like a cupholder?

Mom: No thanks, I brought my brought my own! nods her head in our direction"

Followed by the groans of her 4 embarrassed children in the back seat.

Person at drive-thru: Welcome to McDonald's can I take your order?

Dad: yes,I would like a chocolate fudge sundae female please.

Person at drive-thru: ummm sorry female?

Dad: yes female, no nuts.

Never failed to pull up to the window to a blushing employee...

Dad: "Hey, do you guys want to stop at Mcdonalds?"

My brother and me: "Yes!!!"

Drives past McDonalds

Dad: "Well we aren't actually going to, I was just wondering if you wanted to."

Pure evil.

Daughter and I were sitting in McDonald's and "Just The Way You Are" by Bruno Mars comes on.

I said "This song is kind of weird."

She said "Why do you say that?"

I said "It sounds like it's from Mars."

She brightens, thinking she's got me: "It IS fr-- Oh why do I fall for it!?"

1. ARBITRAITOR A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's
2. BERNADETTE The act of torching a mortgage.
3. BURGLARIZE What a crook sees through
4. AVOIDABLE What a bullfighter tries to do
5. EYEDROPPER Clumsy ophthalmologist
6. CONTROL A short, ugly inmate.
7. COUNTERFEITER Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
8. ECLIPSE What an English barber does for a living.
9. LEFT BANK What the bank robbers did when their bag was full of money.
10. HEROES What a man in a boat does
11. PARASITES What you see from the Eiffel Tower
12. PARADOX Two physicians
13. PHARMACIST A helper on a farm
14. POLARIZE What penguins see through
15. PRIMATE Remove your spouse from in front of TV
16. RELIEF What trees do in the spring
17. RUBERNECK What you do to relax your wife
18. SELFISH What the owner of a seafood store does
19. SUDAFED Brought litigation against a government official
20. PARADIGMS 20 cents