A new era after seeing their error
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2022
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This morning I coughed up a pawn, a knight, and a bishop.

I must have a chess infection.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/don_teegee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2022
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I wish someone would tell me what "IDK" means.

Every time I ask, they say "I don't know."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoCalAttorney
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2022
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Is it a good idea to give someone horse meat?

Of course, it’s the neigh-borly thing to do.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2022
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What title does the Dutch King hold?

His Royal "High"-ness.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/godofwar56931
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2022
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I can't think of a title, let me sleep on it.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vallisneria_A
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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I just lost 20% of my couch

Ouch

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites.

His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world.

Desperate, he went to Croesus the pawnbroker to ask for a loan. Croesus said, β€œI’ll give you 100,000 dinars for it.” β€œBut I paid a million dinars for it,” the King protested. β€œDon’t you know who I am? I am the king!”

Croesus replied, β€œWhen you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zu-den-sternen
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2021
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The ultimate dadjoke. My toddlers believe that on 3 king’s day (along with bringing gifts) the camels severely screw up our home. I put muddy hoof prints throughout, upend the plants, knock over the tree, tear apart fruit, etc.

This year Was a symphony! We had aunts, and two grandmas join in for a seriously epic camel disaster for the kids to discover tomorrow. Feeling proud of my dad skills.

Photos here:

https://imgur.com/gallery/b8sILu3

Edit: the oldest is 5. We celebrated a day early so their aunt could be here. The real 3 kings day is tomorrow. Don’t tell the wise men!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sloanautomatic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? β€œMy Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


β€œWhat’s purple and 5000 miles long?” β€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œFour bucks,” says the bartender. β€œPut it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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Next in the Bourne series: Jason goes rogue and captures Benjamin Netanyahu, and declares himself permanent ruler.

Don’t miss β€œBourne is the King of Israel”

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
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