Why did a man name his dogs Rolex and Timex?
Because they were Watch Dogs.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.
....
It was a shitzu.
EDIT: For those who say it's "stolen", i had no idea. A friend of mine told me this one yesterday and i just had to post it. That's it :)
What’s the difference between a well dressed man and a tired out dog?
One wears a suit and the other just pants.
A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat.
The librarian says, "It rings a bell, but I don't know whether it's there or not."
What did the man say to the rabid dog in the street?
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog, bends down as if to pet it, then picks it up by the tail and begins spinning it over his head. It created quite the ruckus, so an employee ran over and asked the man if he needed help.
"No thanks, just looking around."
What did the man do when he saw a hot dog?
I told my wife that a dog is a mans best friend
"Shame you don't have any friends" she said
A blind man walks into a bar with his guide dog.
Then he starts spinning his leashed dog around himself.
The bartender asks him what the Hell is he doing, and the blind man goes:
"Just looking around..."
A man is walking his dogs and another guy asks “excuse me are they Jack Russels?”
The owner quickly replies, “No, they’re mine!”
What did the Chinese man love to do with his dog?
A man brings his Rottweiler into the vet. “My dog is cross-eyed is there anything you can do for him?”
“Well,” the vet says, “Let’s have a look at him.” The vet picks up the dog and looks into his eyes.
After a few second the he says, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to put him down.”
The shocked owner replies, “what?! Because he’s cross-eyed?!”
“No, because he’s heavy.”
A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I’m looking for the man who shot my paw."
Was walking my dogs the other day and some man asked me, “are those Jack Russells?”
I said, “No, they’re mine”
One day a man asked a dog. How do you communicate with other dogs?
A man went to buy a dog and asked the shopkeeper how loyal it was
He said, "I sold him 6 times and he came back to me"
When the old man gives a dog a bone...
Bouncer: "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed." Man: "This is my Seeing-Eye dog." Bouncer: "A Chihuahua?"
Man: "A Chihuahua? They gave me
a freaking Chihuahua?"
A police officer told me that my dog was chasing a man on a bicycle. I told him that’s impossible.
My dad and I were walking down the street when we passed a man walking 4 dogs.
He turned to me and said, “Whoa! How blind was that guy?”
Earlier today a man broke into and released all the dogs from a dogs home
Police are desperately looking for leads.
A jogger sees a man in the park throwing his dog's toy in the trash. He stops and asks the man why he's doing this. The man says, "The ball has a picture of a dog printed on it." The jogger, still confused, asks what's wrong with that?
The man replies, "Something about it feels wrong, dude. It just feels like CanineBallism."
Why did the man hate Hot Dogs?
Because they are the wurst
This man approached me in the park. He said, 'Have you seen my dog anywhere?'
Who on earth calls their dog Anywhere?
If you want to prove that dog is truly mans best friend
Lock up your dog and wife in the boot of your car for an hour and see who's happiest to see you when you let them out
A man walks into a zoo. It only has one dog
Outside of a dog, a man’s best friend is a book.
Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
A man walks into a zoo and the only animal there is a dog.
A man walked into a zoo but the only animal they had was a dog.
Why did the man name his dogs Rolex, and Timex?
Because they were watch dogs.
What does a dog do, that a man steps into?
Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend
Inside a dog it’s too dark to read.
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.
A man walks into a zoo and the only animal there is a dog,
A man goes to a zoo, but the only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.
A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I’m looking for the man who shot my paw."
A man went to the zoo today and all they had was a dog.
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
Why did the man name his dogs Rolex and Timex?
Because they were watch dogs
A man walks into a zoo and there is only one animal in the entire zoo, a dog.
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog
A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal in there, and it is a dog.
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the zoo is a dog..
A man went to a zoo. All they had to exhibit was a dog.
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