At this year's graduation cermony @ UCLA, James Hetfield will receive the Jim Henson memorial degree...

...he will finally get his Masters of Puppets. 🤘

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/KW-DadJoker
šŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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I graduated with a Chemistry degree, but the only job I got was testing carbonated beverages.

It was Soda grading.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/porichoygupto
šŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
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My friend graduated with a degree in geometry was well prepared for his career as a farmer...

He had bought his protractor in school.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
šŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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Do mathematicians graduate with a radian or a degree?
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Rkk1945
šŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2016
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Dr. Pepper has a degree. So Dr. Pepper is a graduated cylinder.
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Potchi79
šŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2016
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I've completed 4 years of being single today.

Or Can I say I graduated my Bachelor's Degree?

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/sairohit21
šŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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Got my SO's dad at commencement

After the commencement ceremony was over, we walk out and I say,

Me: "Man, it was getting toasty in there!"

SO's Dad: "What? That stadium was freezing! "

Me: "I thought it was hot! There must have been 500 degrees in there!"

I got headshakes from her sister and her mom, and a "Hey! I'm totally using that!" from her dad. I think I'm in!

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/PeterWins
šŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2015
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Pun Help: need funny saying for graduation cap

I’m graduating with my Masters in MIS (Management Information Systems) and am seeking suggestions for punny graduation cap mottos or sayings that I could use related to my MIS Degree. Thanks!!

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/r00nic0rn
šŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

You may have graduated but i have many degrees!

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/scaryAstronaut
šŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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My dad laid this one on me at lunch today...

Talking about my upcoming graduation from grad school, I told my dad that getting a master's degree is nothing compared to how many degrees he has. To which he replied,

"Well, then I guess you can just call me Dr. Fahrenheit!"

...I love that guy.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Leviajonathan
šŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2013
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Dad joke from my 29 year old non-father husband

I complained at my sister's college graduation about how hot it was at the front of the tent when I was trying to get a picture of her crossing the stage. He says, "well there are 619 degrees up there."

My father was so proud he regurgitated that joke for everyone else all day.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/justminick
šŸ“…︎ May 17 2015
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