19 Hilarious Day 5 Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

My boss said "You've been late 5 days this week. You know what that means, don't you?"

I said "I certainly do. IT'S FRIDAY!"

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👤︎ u/ExtraSure

📅︎ Oct 18 2021

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My Grandma, back when she was 65, started walking 5 miles a day. She's 91 years old now..

.. but we've no idea where she is.

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👤︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2

📅︎ Jun 15 2021

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Day 5 of my wife's Dadvent calendar!

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👤︎ u/teRi9229

📅︎ Dec 05 2020

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After checking the delivery tracking app, my wife yelled in a fit of rage, “now my package isn’t coming for another 5 days!”

I replied, now you know how I feel.

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👤︎ u/zion2199

📅︎ Aug 02 2020

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My 5 year old daughter: What is a ghost’s favorite day?

Boosday

I’m so proud. She was laughing so much!

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👤︎ u/skyur45

📅︎ Jan 08 2021

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My neighbors couch has been in the hallway for 5 days. I want to attach jokes to the couch but I'm having trouble.

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👤︎ u/squagoo

📅︎ Apr 01 2019

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On his 60th Birthday, I asked my grandpa to start running 5 miles a day.

Now he’s 65 and I don’t know where he is.

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👤︎ u/Lord_Aarsh

📅︎ Jul 08 2020

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About a week ago, I started walking 5 miles a day...

I now haven’t got the slightest idea where I am.

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👤︎ u/wolfchompmyanus

📅︎ Feb 20 2020

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The other day I was walking down the street and I commented that I like someone’s spunky shoes. 10 minutes later I passed her again and she gave me a $5 bill she found on the ground.

That’s karma in real life

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👤︎ u/superto3

📅︎ May 16 2020

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It was 5 years ago to this day that my wife ran off with my best friend ...

God I miss him .

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👤︎ u/DR-Badtouch

📅︎ Mar 10 2020

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So, the other day I got into a fight with 1,3,5,7 and 9.

The odds were against me

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👤︎ u/pp0787

📅︎ Jun 17 2018

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News: ‘Boy George’s reptile bites 5 people in one day.’

He needs a calmer chameleon

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👤︎ u/TakenByKangAndKodos

📅︎ Sep 29 2019

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I was laughing at my 5-yr-old daughter the other day while I was combing her hair.

When my wife asked what was happening, I replied, "I was just teasing her."

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👤︎ u/Hairy_Swinger

📅︎ Jun 28 2019

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Reading to my 5 year old the other day when this picture came up, and my wife said “he must be dropping a log.” I think I’ve trained her well.

https://i.imgur.com/gCd9CRy.jpg

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👤︎ u/USMC0317

📅︎ Sep 27 2018

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I saw a sale in a store the other day; "TV $5, volume stuck on full"

I picked it up saying to myself, "well I can't turn that down!"

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👤︎ u/Datboifritz113

📅︎ Mar 06 2019

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A campsite was forced to freeze its operations for a whole day when a spiteful customer paid his entire expenses in 5 cent coins.

The campsite reports that it is the first time that they've encountered such a tent nickel difficulty.

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👤︎ u/thefizzynator

📅︎ Feb 13 2017

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Got my wife of 5 days after our wedding

I handed her a hundred to deposit in the bank from a wedding present.

Her: Do you have any smaller bills?

I proceed to take out a ten...

Her: taking off a zero doesn't count.

So I take the hundred, fold it in half, and hand it back

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👤︎ u/vballboss

📅︎ Oct 14 2016

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My 5 year old daughter got me with this one today on the way to her first day of school.

"What cats like to play on a computer?"
"Cats that want the mouse?"
"Nope"
"Okay, what cats like to play on a computer?"
"Tabby cats!"

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👤︎ u/Frond_Dishlock

📅︎ May 01 2016

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At the age of 65, my Grandma started walking 5 miles a day.

She's 92 now. We have no idea where she is.

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👤︎ u/gradymegalania

📅︎ Dec 15 2020

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