He's living on a pear
and the box said 2-4 years!
I thought to myself “these should be free of charge”.
I then realized she's an amazon, so she gets next day shipping
She was legendairy.
...but then my life would be meetingless.
I though, “I can’t turn that down”
Saved you a klick.
I told him, 'no, because it's Son Day'.
She said "What's he doing? Is this normal??? It isn't even Easter".
I said "Oh him? That's Egg-Sell-Ent"
You should have pluralized it and more would have shown up!
The odds were against me
You hear about that guy who died during his comedy set? I guess he joked to death.
I responded, "that is a prime example."
I said "No thanks I'm grand, but thanks verstappen"
http://imgur.com/a/d9f8Y
"Back in the day I could go to the store and get a gallon of milk, dozen eggs, cold cuts and a slice of cake with a $1.50 in my pocket"
"But then again, there were not nearly as many security cameras"
