Daily Show Puns

“Grande macchiato with oat milk, please.”

The cashier started to process his order, until the man asked “Why are you wearing a surgical mask?”

“I’m not”, said the barista, “it’s a coughy filter”.

This bull had won best in show awards. Groomed daily, perfect stance, it was a great bull.

One day the farmer goes out and sees the bull has gone cross-eyed. This was going to ruin ant chance of future awards, so he called the livestock vet out.

The veterinarian gets there and examines the bull, realizes he's seen this happen before and grabs a narrow metal tube from the back of his truck.

He brings the tube over and jams the tip of it into the bulls hind end and proceeds to blow as hard as he can through the end of it.

The farmer looks at the bulls eyes as the vet is blowing into the bulls backside and says "it's working! I see his eyes straightening right up, keep doing it!"

The vet blows and blows his face and cheeks turning red and finally says, "I'm out of breath I can't do it anymore, his eyes are almost straight you'll have to finish"

The farmer comes over and grabs the tube, pulls it out, turns it around and puts it back in the other way, the vet stops him and says, "What on Earth are you doing?"

The farmer says, "Well I don't want to put my mouth on the same end you did!"