I was driving with my daughter when she suddenly pointed her finger to an orange sign and said βLook Daddy, Road Works Ahead!β
I said βI sure hope it works, or weβll have to take a longer route!β
π︎ 9
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︎ Sep 26 2020
While having dinner last night, my daughter looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, you're the boss in our family, right?" Proudly, I replied, "Yes, my little princess, yes I am!"
She continued, "That's because mommy put you in charge, right?"
π︎ 11
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︎ Apr 15 2020
My daughter pointed at a spear and said βdaddy look itβs sharpβ
I replied with βthatβs the pointβ
π︎ 33
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︎ Jan 09 2020
My friend Adam was telling me how, in addition to marrying a hot super model whose daddy bought the house he lives in and the car he drives just for marrying his daughter, he was also sexing up a hot stewardess. I found it hard to believe...
Because Adams make up everything!
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 20 2019
My daughter asks me all the time βDaddy, can you put my shoes on?β
βNo, I don't think they'll fit me.β Is my go to answer. Bless her she still laughs and says βsilly daddyβ. Sheβs 3 :)
π︎ 107
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︎ Apr 22 2019
What did the Daddy Bee say to his Daughter Bee when she was being bad instead of building their house?
You better start bee hiving!
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 14 2019
My daughter and I were playing on the beach today when I picked up her small bucket and stared at it for a long time. Puzzled, she asked, "Daddy, what're you doing!!?" Sounding concerned, I said, "Your bucket is sick!"
Surprised, she asked, "How do you know?"
I replied, "Well, it's a little pail!"
π︎ 22
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︎ Jul 18 2019
Daughter (After watching scary movie) : Daddy Daddy what would you do if I dropped down dead in front of you ?
Me : Hmmmmm, I'd clean the knife.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 26 2019
My 5 year old daughter said "daddy look I'm putting mayonnaise on my chips"
I said "my god you're amayonnaizing".
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 17 2019
My daughter jumped onto my lap and proclaimed "Daddy, I'm bored."
I am so glad to get this promotion to become the chair man of the bored.
π︎ 12
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︎ May 14 2019
My daughter said to me "Daddy, your hair is getting so long. Do you like it looking like that?"
I said "It's growing on me."
π︎ 24
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︎ Feb 17 2019
4 year old daughter came over to me with her shoes in her hands and said "Daddy, can you put these on?..."
Like any good dad, I said "Of course I can sweety" before stuffing my toes into them.
After she said "NOOOOOOO DAAAAAADDY! On my feet!" I said "well why didn't you say so in the first place?"
[Helped her stuff her feet in]
"Daddy" she asked, "Can you pull on the tongue?"
......ike dthis?
π︎ 879
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︎ Sep 03 2016
My 2yo daughter said βbye-bye daddy!β
I said, βIβm coming, silly.β
She says, βBye-bye, Coming!β
π︎ 7
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︎ Mar 08 2019
My daughter asked me, "Daddy why do I have to go to bed?"
I replied, "Because the bed wont come to you!"
π︎ 346
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︎ Jun 04 2017
Daughter: βHow do I look, daddy?!β
Dad: βWith your eyes, sweetheart.β
π︎ 16
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︎ Jun 14 2018
Why did the right wing daddy not stop his daughter from going out in a sleeveless dress?
Because he recognized her right to bare arms.
π︎ 8
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︎ Jan 07 2019
My daughter asked "Daddy will you be a man witch for Halloween?"
Our 5 year old was a witch for Halloween and asked dad to be a "man witch" to match her costume. And so begins the dad joke costume: https://i.imgur.com/1qLrHEE.jpg
(I posted this on the Halloween contest in r/pics and was told to share it here.)
π︎ 125
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︎ Nov 01 2017
My 3yo Daughter came up to me saying her dolly was cold so I tore her off a piece of paper towel. She then said daddy this is a napkin.
I assure her it was quilted
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 19 2018
Dad: "I'm getting you a car for your birthday" - Daughter: "Nothing would please me more, daddy!"
Dad: Gets her nothing instead
π︎ 47
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︎ Sep 23 2017
"Good night, no more games, go to sleep now" I say. "But Daddy..." my daughter says...
"And don't call me Buttdaddy! It's disrespectful!" I reply.
π︎ 118
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︎ Dec 21 2014
My daughter was looking at her sleeping pet dog, Max, and asked, "Daddy, do dogs have dreams?"
"Of course they do, sweetheart," I replied, "When Max was a puppy he wanted to grow up to play shortstop for the New York Yankees!"
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 17 2017
My 5 year old daughter to me: "Daddy, what do you call a poet who sneezes during a performance?"
"A hai-choo!"
She learns from the best ;-)
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 12 2016
My daughter yesterday day said, daddy can you put my shoes on
Said, No I don't think they'll fit me
π︎ 16
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︎ Jun 17 2019
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