Why are the Hershey kisses not allowed in SpaceX flights?
Because Mars has monopoly
Shouldn't a Hershey bar with nuts in it . . .
What pronouns do chocolate bars prefer?
People are saying these Hershey Kisses are totally pointless.
What does a person with no arms say when trying to eat a Hershey's Kiss?
My Wife says to me this morning. Our new neighbor kisses his wife every day when he leaves for work, why don't you do that..?!!
..because I hardly know her.
After my future wife accidentally kisses my nose in front of her kid:
"Well, your nose needs some lovin', too. See [kid] nose what I'm talking about."
"Because she's spending too much time at the ol' factory"
Crickets. I have work to do...
The Vatican is bemoaning its recent infestation of felines who walk up to visitors and give them kisses.
You'd think they would welcome roamin' cat licks.
What noise do porcupines make when they kiss?
Ouch…
Can’t take the credit as it’s from the new Clifford the big red dog film!
Exhausting being that cute
Hershey’s and Ikea have joined together to sell a chocolate pet.
Just picked up a Kït Kaát. Now to put it together...
ninety percent of dads kiss their wives goodbye when they leave the house.
Ten percent of dads kiss their house goodbye when they leave their wives.
(From one of my 1st grade students): What did the pineapples say after they kissed?
What's it like being kissed by a vampire?
Do you know why you never kiss anyone at a funeral?
They always have mourning breath.
It's clever and cute and I want one
My boyfriend grabbed me, kissed me passionately and said “Honey, I want you to make me moan”
So I gave him a once-over with the lawn strimmer.
Compromising with my teenage daughter
My daughter is 14 and has been asking for a nose ring for a while now. She thinks she will wear me down but she is wrong (this time). She was out shopping with my wife today... this is how our conversation went.
Daughter: Dad, what if your christmas present was to just let me get my nose pierced with a tiny cute lil" sparkle??!!
Me: No. You have plenty of holes in your ears ( 3 each 🙄, not my idea ) Buy a nose ring and put it in your ear hole if you need to. We'll call it a "near" ring. 😉
Daughter: U R Not funny.
Me: Kinda funny? 😁
Daughter: No.
In summary: I was/am so proud of myself that I thought I would share. 🤣🤣 Hope you enjoy!
I kissed her lips passionately, whispering "you hone my blade..."
She moaned "you're making me whet!"
What’s one thing that will always give you butterflies no matter what?
what do you call a cute door
What do you call someone who isn't cute?
Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?
Because it's only the first date
I like anything with hot tea
My 5 year old got me today!! How do you fix a pumpkin?
My wife always refuses to kiss me while we are out grocery shopping.
She hates Publix displays of affection.
What happened after Harry Potter kissed a pig?
Why cows don’t talk:
God: You are a cow.
Cow: K. Got it.
God: Your baby is a calf.
Cow: K. Now ask me why I’m tired after giving birth.
God: … w-what…?
Cow: Ask me why I’m tired after giving birth.
God: K… Why are you tired after giving birth?
Cow: Because I’m decalfinated.
God:
Cow: De-calf-inated.
God:
Cow: Wow, someone’s laughtose intolerant.
Why were the witch and wizard always kissing each other's necks?
Because they were neckromancers
We went to pick up our curbside grocery order, and the lady placing the bags in our trunk saw my son in his rear facing car seat. She said, "Oh my gosh, he's so cute! What's his name? Is he walking? Can he talk?"
I replied, "Those are pretty strange guesses. But no, his name is Raymond."
How do you make an adorable pickle?
A Mexican magician tells the audience he'll dissappear on the count of 3. He says "uno, dos..."
poof he dissappears without a tres
A science lab supply company sent me a cute scientist cat sticker with their new product cat-a-log! (PM me if you want to know which company)
What's a fishes favorite wood?
This came from my 7 year old daughter.
What's a fishes favorite wood?
Answer- fish sticks.
What is like to be kissed by a vampire
What do you call a cute door?
What do you call a cute door?
What do you call a cute door?
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