(Note: anyone who follows me on Twitter knows exactly why these guys were on my mind.)
Cryptomorphs are a classification of alien used to designate a mysterious, and deadly, faction in the galaxy. They are, by their own definition, not fully understood by the rest of the cosmos, and they haven't taken much action to lift the veil at all. In fact, they've never officially entered diplomacy or negotiations with any other race, and have only communicated with members of other factions on very rare instances, very few of which ended favourably. Keep in mind that this absence of communication means Cryptomorphic lifeforms and their related technologies and assets are entirely exonymous, meaning they were all named by outsiders. In fact, this is pretty much all information that non Cryptomorphs have managed to piece together about them.
Now, Cryptomorph is an umbrella term that describes any alien species that is enigmatic to the point where researching and studying them has become nearly impossible. It is most commonly used to refer to the Grays, an army of Cryptomorphic aliens of various kinds working together in a caste system conducting military campaigns of nebulous purposes across the galaxy, (which has yet to be named in canon, will get back to you all on that.) The Grays are of extreme concern to the Arturian Empire for instance considering just how advanced they are technologically speaking, making the disconnect even more unnerving. Grays were first encountered by the Arturians during the Dread Wars on the planet Ectorious, although as it turns out... they were sort of there first. In fact, they had colonized Ectorious way back in the early 7000s, over a millennium before the Arturians even started terraforming the other worlds in the Avalon system. The planet was only uninhabitable to Arturians, but was perfectly able to sustain the Grays just fine. Grays are a species of humanoid with smooth, hairless grey skin, large heads that are featureless except for their giant black eyes. They have no other orifices to speak of, not even pores, and their reproduction methods have yet to be observed. When the Arturian Republic started to terraform the various planets of the Avalon star system in 8950, the Grays living on Ectorious were driven underground, where they remained until the Dread Wars began. Spooked in
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I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Buenosdillas
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
“BOOM”?!
"That's what they're fighting about."
