To preface, I and my entire side of the family are vaccinated and boosted for covid. Although my partner (not yet married but for the sake of this post iโll be referring to his mother as MIL) was hesitant at first, he is now getting fully vaxxed and we have agreed to require vaccination, TDAP, and the flu shot in order to meet the baby while heโs still little.
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I am currently 35 weeks pregnant, due the second week of February. Our pregnancy has been kept pretty quiet since I donโt want to be bothered constantly by random people I hardly know, but everyone important to us is aware. For a bit more background info, my boyfriends mom has been pushy and entitled my entire pregnancy complaining about how sheโs โso sick and tired of us not allowing her to be excited about her grand baby.โ
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I told her right off the bat that sheโs not allowed to post an announcement before we do (which will be after our sons birth), but that she can feel free to talk to people in private if it means so much to her. She again and again has thrown a tantrum over this like a child and weโve had to ask her to take down several posts and comments, the most recent of which she is refusing to delete.
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Anyway, my grievances with her begin with how she treats my partner. She has never been a mother to him, and while sheโs always been kind to me Ive never much liked her. Even so, she was invited to be a part of the baby shower planning so she can feel included. This planning group includes my mom, MIL, my best friend, my boyfriends aunt and my grandma. According to everyone, MIL has helped with absolutely nothing at all pertaining to the shower.
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Today my mom sent out a text explaining how we will be requiring a negative test result for the baby shower, as we donโt want to risk anyone getting sick and my hospital has a rule that if I or my guests are symptomatic at all, they wonโt be allowed in. Immediately following this text, my MIL stated that none of my boyfriends side of the family would be attending the baby shower if they had to take a test. Not even a vaccination, just a TEST.
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She then attempted to start a spat with my mother in the baby shower planning groupchat, which was honestly hilarious and she simply got a โoh, bummer. iโll make sure to make a new groupchat so we donโt spam you with textsโ from my angel mama.
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My partner received a text after stating that none of his family members would be coming, so he could forget about seeing them
... keep reading on reddit โก
I did cancel my baby shower due to Covid and I wanted to do a drive by one, to my surprise A LOT of people are very judgmental about the idea. I asked on a baby website how to do a winter drive by but MAN people were so upset! This is my first baby and my family is so excited and wants to celebrate still and I also want to celebrate the baby, I also already bought a bunch of stuff for my original baby shower and wanted to use it. I feel torn now, is it really that insensitive and cold to have a drive by baby shower? I was thinking about putting โgifts not expected but greatly appreciatedโ on the invites so it doesnโt seem like itโs just about gifts? Not sure anymore. What is your guyโs opinions on drive by baby showers?
This is going to sound tacky. I would like to have a baby shower, but with the variant now and Covid constantly changing, it seems like I may just skip it. HOWEVER, I could really use some gifts. I didnโt have a bridal shower because I lived in a tiny nyc apartment at the time, so didnโt have room for stuff. This time, I could use the stuff! Has anyone successfully managed to pass along their registry tactfully without having an official shower? Besides the virtual baby shower, any other suggestions?
Has anyone done this? I'm a FTM 27w.
I live in Montana and a few members of my family will be traveling to me from OR/WA for the shower. Many are concerned about weather in early March. The shower is March 5. Im due April 12.
Early March in Montana is still pretty weather-sketchy. My mom semi-jokingly asked if we could do the shower after baby is born so there are no concerns with weather. We laughed about the idea but then I started thinking about it.
So, two questions for mamas who have had babies before-
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How late is the absolute latest you would have felt comfortable having your shower? I have heard a lot of ladies on here say towards the end of pregnancy they would not have wanted to have the shower because you're so uncomfortable
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Has anyone had a shower after baby was born? Is that silly? Did people give you things from your registry prior? I'm just thinking of logistics and it almost seems silly to do after. Plus - will I even want to?
Ok thanks for your time and your input!
-M
I had a micro wedding last weekend with no extended family. My mom is asking me for a baby shower guest list now for a shower in May (Iโm almost 12 weeks now) and weโre wondering if itโs distasteful to invite people who werenโt invited to the wedding?
Also, my friends from my hometown have kind of drifted apart. We see each other about once/year and donโt talk much, but weโre all going to my friends wedding in June and saw each other recently for a holiday party. Would it be weird to invite them? I would love to have them there. Iโm the first in our group to get married and have a baby (they are all single or dating) so I think it could be fun for everyone. But maybe Iโm wrong and itโd be gift grabby?
And lastly, is anyone planning in person showers for the spring?
Iโm having a virtual baby shower in two months and I thought I would make it interesting by giving a little tour of the nursery. However, I just bought a sign with our babyโs first and middle name to hang over the crib, and we werenโt planning on revealing that until she is born.
Iโm not sure at this point whether to delay hanging it or cover it, or just do a little name reveal for my guests. It will be close family & friends only.
One reason we wanted to keep it a secret is to avoid comments or other suggestions, since weโre pretty set at this point. Everyone knows her gender, so this is the only secret just for my husband and I to know until sheโs here.
On the other hand, her middle name is an honor name for my aunt who passed away the day after I found out I was pregnant, and my mom (her sister) and my cousins will be on the call, so that might be a nice way for them to find out together.
Has anyone else done a name reveal at their shower? Did you have any regrets?
Alsoโฆ any tips for a successful virtual shower? This will be my first one ever, and same deal for the people who are throwing it for me, so it should be interesting!
This last Thanksgiving I announced I was pregnant at the family gathering. My family had mixed reactions everything from congratulations to have you picked out an adoptive family yet. I will be a single parent, the other party said he would only support a termination. My mother and grandmother are trying to force a baby shower on me, it's not really for me, they are doing this for show and Facebook pictures. " Look at us despite Baby mama being taught to pich a penny, we are going to have a party for her anyway, we are lovely people" I don't want to be a prop for social media points and more than likely I won't be able to use the items because I will be using clean/organic products for my child.
Any advice is welcome! Thank you for reading!
So my sister in law is planning my baby shower. I am extremely grateful but I was hoping we could do something where we donโt really all gather in one spot. Not only because COVID but also because I cut off my moms side of the family. I blocked them recently and I just have nothing to do with them. Not having my mom during such an important time is really gonna have me downโฆ and I know theyโre gonna be asking about my sister and my mom and Iโm just not ready to explain to them that I donโt have contact with them anymore. Bc then theyโll ask why and I know Iโll start cryingโฆ how can I just be okay on this day? Without my immediate family there? Of course my dad is coming and my older sister may be able to make itโฆ butโฆ yeah. Plus itโs an hour and 10 minutes away from my home town so I doubt anyone from there can come even friends from school
Do people have baby showers for their second child? Our first is a boy and our new baby will also be a boy. We are set when it comes to clothes, but need things like bottles, pacifiers, diapers, etc.
This is also our last baby so weโre closing up shop after this one. This experience to me isnโt any less special because itโs our second and the same gender, I just donโt know what to doโฆ thoughts?
The showers are large, walk in type. Im sure a sink/sink sized baby bath will be fine initially but as the baby grows, how can be appropriately bathe our little one?
(Putting in a bath isnโt an option)
Iโve been unemployed since late 2020 because of covid, but Iโve managed to save ~$15k before becoming unemployed and have been coasting on that. Planning on being a stay at home mom for the foreseeable future and trying to cut back on spending to keep a small nest egg for when baby is here.
Checked my account today on a whim (I rarely go out [bc covid] and donโt spend much so donโt check my account that often) and saw that LAST WEEK all the money was drained from my account into some crypto currency bit coin type deal??
Obviously I was horrified, my account shows I have about $200 left when I should have had almost $10k still. We were supposed to be getting by the first year with those savings, with my fiancรฉโs income taking care of the bulk of the bills!
Thankfully it seems to be an easy fix at the bank, theyโre disputing the charges and creating a new account and new bank card for me. Seems I will get it all back in a week or so, but weโll see ๐ฌ
Still, what a horrible shock to wake up to ๐ฉ
I donโt know how much longer this can go on. In the entire pandemic we never ever got Covid. We have been in hiding basically. I have a 5 month old and the news keeps saying that the unvaccinated are the ones dying of Covid. Since my son is unvaccinatedโฆwell, put two and two together. Plus Iโm hearing about how COVID causes blood vessel damage, heart damage, brain damage, early onset Alzheimerโs, chronic fatigue. I obviously donโt want to be getting that. If it was just a cold, fine, but when news and redditors are saying they have long Covid, Iโm basically living in fear trying to avoid having those horrible things for us. But my mental health is absolutely awful. I want to be out again. I want to live again. I donโt know what to do anymore.
We can all assume whatโs going on and why i cancelled it. Iโm so over things being ruined, first my wedding and now this. I have so many onesies I was going to have people tie dye too ๐
EDIT: thank you for the lovely responses and Iโm sorry to everyone who is in the same boat as me. Weโre in this together and the health of our babes is what matters most.
I am 25 weeks now - woohoo! I am having two baby showers since my family lives a few states away.
The baby shower for my side of the family is all planned and is in a few weeks. It is in-person with only immediate family (10 people max) and everyone must wear masks.
It was easy to plan the first shower but I have been having difficulty planning one for my husband's side of the family.
My husband and his family really want the shower to be in-person with extended family (40-50 people).
However, I would feel awful if someone got sick because of my shower and told them I do not want an in-person shower. They said we would talk about it more after New Years, but when I recently brought up the idea of a virtual shower for extended family, they ignored me again.
Nothing has been planned because they are holding out hope for an in-person party. Any one else run into this issue and have any idea how I can get the planning process rolling? I was really hoping to have both showers at the beginning of my third trimester while I had some energy left.
