In the store I saw some brightly coloured greeting cards that said, "I will always love only you "

They sold them in packs of 12.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Credit goes to Puns on Facebook. I am partly colour blind and this is f’in funny!
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Good_Alibi
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2018
🚨︎ report
My colour blind friend told me there were only two kinds of people in the world.

I told him to stop seeing things in black and white.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What's blue in colour and not heavy?

Light Blue

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dadushka008
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What colour is an instruction to cry out in pain?

Yell "ow"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Need Hella Puns

https://preview.redd.it/wa3s3ozxftc61.png?width=4500&format=png&auto=webp&s=04f10d36e95914e4d39ec2312ce5176a062911b1

Who thinks they're punny?! πŸ˜œβ €β €I sketched this Hellraiser holding a cactus and thought it'd make a cute Valentine's Day card. I'm in the process of colouring it and I want YOU to help me caption it.β €

I've asked the question on IG (@ashrobertsondesign) but didn't get a lot of feedback so I'm reaching out here. Gimme your best prick, point, hell, etc. related puns n make it about love πŸ”₯

I'll choose a favourite from the comments and turn it into a FREE Valentine's Day card printable.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ashtrobertson
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend and I got kicked out of a NBA game because we went dressed in brightly coloured chicken suits.

Two flagrant fowls means an automatic ejection.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know some words (like color/colour or favorite/ favourite) are spelled differently in the US than in the UK?

It's because when the United States declared independence, they said, "we don't want u anymore."

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlakaDAYUM
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
How does the colour of a pine tree change in central China?

It starts beige-ing

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CVSSR
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
3 yr old grandson says, "Papa, where's my sword?"

Papa, "What colour is it?"

3 yr old, "Blue."

Papa, "Where did you see it last?"

3 yr old: "In my hand."

Endless entertainment!

Edit: formatting

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UhmBah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm in the business of colourful enemas

It's a real paint in the ass.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hypeting
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
🚨︎ report
5 Terrible Puns
  1. It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

  2. If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… Guardian of the Galaxy

  3. I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

  4. I Googled β€œHow to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.

  5. I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/punsdaily
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I found a brightly coloured feather on the ground, picked it up and put it in my hat band and said "Hey, do you guys know what this is?" "No, what?"

"Macaroni."

Groans all around.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/agoatforavillage
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2013
🚨︎ report
3 Muslim women walk into Hungry Jacks

One is dressed entirely in bright pink, another neon green, and another in gorgeous gold.

A man ordering food at the counter notices them and asks the employee why they are wearing such bright colours, to which the employee responds:

"The burkas are better at Hungry Jack's"

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kie723
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Waiting at the doctor with my dad.

We're currently sitting in the waiting room at the doctors. My father went to grab one of the magazines on the table. He took one that's called "Bunte", which is German for "colourful". He opened the first page and said: "Nah, that's too colourful for me." Which is a German quote used when somebody had enough of something.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/riko-cchi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
So, I'm studying human perception as it relates to colour, right?

And the thing about eyes, sight, and light is that nobody really knows what colour anything is.

What we think of as colour is actually light reflecting off a surface in the visible light spectrum- nothing is inherently colourful on its own. So everything we see is actually in our own heads. Transfered light is reflecting off objects, into our eyes and being read/perceived by the brain as 'colour'.

It's all a pigment of our imagination.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SupremeCanadian
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Not a dad, but caught my mom out with this once.

My mom was making a cup of tea and since I was getting something out of the fridge, asked me if I could pass her the "green" milk, wanting the skimmed milk that comes in cartons with green coloured caps.

Me: "No, we've only got the white stuff".

Made my dad proud.

πŸ‘︎ 108
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mister_Biscuit
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2016
🚨︎ report
So this is a pretty long joke...

So there were these two high schoolers, both madly in love. they were like the most well known couple around the school. so a couple months go by after they've began dating and they both see a flier in the hallway. it talks about the up coming school dance which is taking place next week. so naturally, the guy asks the girl to come with him. she says yes and the planing begins. he gets home that night and surfs the entire web for a relatively cheap limo company with still have decent amenities. after ordering that, he heads off to the local tailor and gets a suit made for in his girlfriends favourite colour, blue. then the week passes and he preparing to go and pick her up, so he picks up the flowers he bought her earlier that day and heads out to the now parked limo. he gets in and orders the driver to her house. he gets there and gives her the flowers. they go out for dinner at a very fancy place, him paying for everything. they both finally get to the school hall and head in to see all their friends. they have a wonderful night, dancing, having photos taken, they both really just enjoyed themselves. they even got elected prom king and queen! so the night is coming to an end and they both decide to sit down and have a rest. the girls feeling a bit thirsty so the guy heads over to the refreshments table to get her a drink. it's pretty quite there as in this joke, there isnt a punchline. ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RustyTyrant
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Unsolicited Calls. ‭

‭020 8125 7830‬: Hello, I’m calling about the accident you had in the last two years. Me: Gosh how did you know I trapped my cock in the hotel drawer? ‭020 8125 7830‬: (hesitation) So you’ve had an accident within the last two years? Me: Yes I trapped my penis in the drawer at a Holiday Inn. Now it’s gone a funny colour, and hurts all the time. ‭020 8125 7830‬: (hesitation.....) Click.

BLOCKED.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SiBodoh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I was on a date once....

...and we had premade salads from the supermarket. She said that when she was a kid she thought that peas were from space cause of their colour. (there were peas in her salad)

So I said, maybe that is why Aliens say we come in peas...

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Viggo128
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2016
🚨︎ report
Help needed for a colour pun

I'm currently developing a game for my studies based on the old windows Game Pipe Dream (or Pipe Mania). It is two player and competitive where each player works for one of two rival companies. The game has a steampunk theme and each company is represented by a different colour. Green is Greenpunk Industries. I need your help, pun masters of reddit, in coming up with a pun for the Blue company.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TimeTraveller264
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2014
🚨︎ report
Easter themed dad joke

Yesterday at work one of my colleagues brought in a big box of mini eggs for us.

The guy at the desk next to me opened a pack and started sorting them by colour.

'Dan', I said. 'You can't do that!'

'Why not?' he replied.

'It's eggregation!'

Cue groans from the office.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShinyJaker
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2017
🚨︎ report
My mate got me with this last night

We were shopping in the supermarket and he said that we needed milk.

>What colour milk meaning green lid for semi-skimmed, blue for whole milk

>White

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DivinePrinterGod
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2016
🚨︎ report
Help with remembering a joke?

I'm not a dad, and not even English, but a friend's dad would make this joke:

Green green, green green...

Yellow?

Brown, brownbrownbrownbrown, brownbrown, brown.

Pink!

But I'm pretty sure there was more colours in it than that. Can somebody help?

Thanks!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Epicentera
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2013
🚨︎ report
SO and I got my sister multiple times

We're out of state visiting my family. My sister (13) was being Moody and argumentative all day. By the time we got to dinner she was just glued to her phone. So, I took her phone, and say it in front of my SO. she pleaded several times to get her phone back, and I kept saying no. So, she started asking my SO.

Me: M | SO: SO | Sister: S

S: Can I just see my phone?

M: Picks up and shows it to her What colour is it?

S: ugh.. White. Duh.

M:, Good. Good. Then you can see it.

S:, Drawn out sigh

*S's phone buzzes

S: What does it say?

M: Samsung.

D: will you [SO] turn it and read it to me?

SO: rotates phone 90Β° Still says Samsung.

S: whhhhyyyyy???

Phone buzzes again

S: flip it over, and read it to me

SO: grins flips twice Samsung.

S: Are you on her side?!

SO: of the table

S: Uuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhhhh

Edit: Format

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xlusciniolax
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2016
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.