Coffee Barista Puns

The man frowns. “What do you mean it’s a secret? What’s the special today? Is it a latte?”

The barista shakes her head.

“A mocha?”

She shakes her head again.

“Oh, come on! Tell me! A cappuccino?”

She shakes her head.

“An affogato?”

She shakes her head.

The man is getting frustrated at this point. “Can you at least give me a clue!?”

The barista thinks for a moment, then points at a jar on the counter. “Ok, the special is in this jar.”

“What is it?”

“I can’t tell you. It’s a secret.”

The man, enraged at this point, tries to grab the jar.

The barista grabs it too.

They fight for control and the man wretches it away only for the jar to fall on the ground and its contents spill out onto the floor.

The man stares, “It’s just been normal coffee this whole time?!”

The barista shrugs, “I guess you spilled the beans.”

They are literally going back to the grind.

Me: I dunno, what's your return policy.

A tamp stamp.

Me: Is Mr Cappuccino OK?

When asked if he had plans for Thanksgiving, he replied with "We're planning on having it on Thursday."

When asked if he had took American Express, he replied with "Yeah, but we don't keep it for long."

Ordered a pumpkin spice coffee:

Barista when it's ready: "Pumpkin?"

Me: "What did you just call me?"

Dead silence.

A man in Australia took a train to the town of Mercy, where he heard there was a coffee shop that served drinks named after Australian animals. When he arrived, he decided to try the Koala Tea. He received his order quickly, which turned out to basically be a cup of hot water filled with whole eucalyptus leaves.

The man asked the barista, "Excuse me, there seems to be a lot of loose leaves in my tea."

The barista replied, "Yes, sir, the Koala Tea of Mercy is not strained."

A barista kept serving decaf coffee to customers that wanted it regular. After repeated warnings from the shop owner to stop doing it, the barista was fired.

Would you believe me if I said the barista thought they had the wrong grounds to fire him?

I always bring my own coffee (because mine is better and I'm cheap) whenever I go to study. Since it's a hot day out I decided to get a cup of ice from the coffee shop to make a nice iced coffee. Thankfully the opportunity for a dad joke presented itself whenever the person I was with order an Iced Latte. I had no other choice but to order a "Latte Ice"

Of course I had to explain to the barista that I actually wanted a cup of ice, of course she gave me a courtesy laugh, and of course I'm posting this to reddit instead of actually studying.