He said, "Brochure."
We were diagnosed with carpool tunnel syndrome
We get along all right.
He finally came out of the Santa Claus-et.
I'm not sure what the joke was, but somebody should get his head out of the gutter.
Roberto
They’re broommates who sweep together.
He said no, but it was worth a shot.
He went from dapper Dan to diaper Dan.
Sorry, wrong sub
I guess he likes to show up in the nick of time.
He spilled the beans!
Me: Sure, because when they send email, they don’t care if you’re up.
The followed response, "Guys calm down, it's just a drill."
Stay safe everyone and try to keep smiling
I told her the weekend comes to Vancouver every 5 days.
Half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t that bright.
I said "no, I'm more of a Skittles guy."
"No I'm talking about the rapper."
"Why would I want to eat the wrapper?" I asked.
I think it's carpool tunnel syndrome.
I told him he’s just gullible.
He has such a huge Eggo.
Co-worker yells from front: MY FEEEET HURT
Dad-worker from the back: YEAH WELL MY ASS HAS A CRACK IN IT
credit to Don
My co worker said there was a herd of bicycle cops that just went by. I asked "What was their horse power?"
But I couldn’t connect the Dots
You could say I'm in good company.
I work in the investigations section of a military police department, and aside from our normal office hours, we have 24hr shifts that cycle through the office, so that there's an investigator present and on-duty 24/7/365.
My co-worker was wrapping up some paperwork this morning, and coming off of his 24 hr shift, and almost dead to the world. At the time, a pair of other investigators in my office were discussing some case that had happened a day or two prior that involved an emancipated juvenile.
I was just logging into my workstation to check my e-mail and I turned to my co-worker and asked, "Hey, so when a juvenile gets emancipated, and he announces it - proclaims it, if you will - what would they call that?"
He stares at me with a blank, uncomprehending expression and I continue, "An emancipation...proclamation? Maybe?"
The annoyed groans of someone who's been up for 24 hours are so satisfying.
I told him that I’m half left too
Told him "well, looks like any chances of you having a quiet, easy day have been muffled."
He rebooted himself
Him: Do you know what our country would be of we all drove pink Cadillacs? A Pink carnation. Me: face palm
Me: "Your first one? Yeah, bullshit."
Him: "No really. My god did I ever look young."
When I asked him about it he said "I'm just that cool"
Me: You could eat it...
She Satired
I said maybe.
I said: "You'll have to wait until your birthday"
I don't have any children.
Him: "Hey I'll be right back just gonna run and grab some lunch."
Me: "Why don't you take your car it'd be much faster?"
It’s a gag gift
I asked her if it was a running joke...
. . . he keeps using the wrong words. It sounds right when he talks, but when he's writing it's just a mess.
>Weight a minute, look over their, those guise are using hare brushes on a whores!
'Jamaica?' I replied. No she went on her own free choice.
