Close Fitting Puns

It's a stocking cap.

How many elephants can fit in a Volkswagen Beetle?

4. 2 in the front and 2 in the back.

How do you tell if there is an elephant in the fridge?

There's a footprint in the butter.

How do you tell if there is two elephants in the fridge?

There's two footprints in the butter.

How do you tell if there is three elephants in the fridge?

You can't close the door.

How do you tell if there is four elephants in the fridge?

There's a Volkswagen out front.

So I Have never been close to my dad because he is old school. You know, republican, really catholic, really fit, clean hair cut, big sports fan, etc. He can be funny but really only shows his fun side with the little kids in the family or his brothers.

Well my little sister is incharge or answering the house phone and when she was younger this happened a lot:

Sister: hello?(pause) hangs up phone Dad: who was it? Sister: nobody Dad: oh, i told him to stop calling. Well what did Nobody want? Sister: What ? Dad: you said Nobody called, i asked what he wanted. Sister: Nooooo, nobody called Dad: i know he called, what did he want

This would go on for a while