Upgrading my phone.

Me: I hate that everyone keeps taking my cell phone charger in this house. I'm gonna upgrade my phone so can have a different charging port.

Wife: That's a poor excuse for wanting an upgrade.

Me: You mean a port excuse?

Wife: Ugh.

👍︎ 86
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📅︎ Jul 01 2017
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Punsters of Reddit, I need your help

So I need a pun or simply clever line for a lock breaking-up with a key. Some ideas I've had include:

>"You just don't unlock me"

>"I don't think we're a good fit"

I realize these aren't really puns, but /r/DoubleEntendres doesn't have quite as much traffic. Any help would be appreciated!

👍︎ 18
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📅︎ Oct 23 2014
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My 12 yr old daughter w/ her dad comment that stopped her 18 yr old brother cold.

My 18 yr old son was intently talking to me about something, and his 12 yr old sister tried to weigh in on it.

He said, "No one asked for your input, Sis." And she immediately snapped back with, "Well no one asked for your output either."*

We all laughed and he grudgingly admitted that it was a pretty clever comeback.

*hope this fits in as a dad joke

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👤︎ u/thelocket
📅︎ Dec 05 2013
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