Cleaning Tool Puns

I lost the Rock’s paper scissors.

I was cleaning up my grandson's toys and had labeled several drawers to make it easier to sort. Dinosaurs/dragons, tools, soft, blocks, etc... Half way through I ran to my daughter and said, "Oh no, I think I have a problem!" I then pulled a Bender robot from Futurama plushy toy out and continued, "Does this go in the soft drawer or the tool drawer?"

Me: "Whats this weird old tool".

Grandpa: "Oh, hell, be really careful with that. I have a friend that would pay 500 dollars just to see that tool in action."

Me: (Suddenly excited/intrigued) "Really?!? Why is that?" Grandpa: "Because... He's... Blind (chuckles)".

I still have no clue what the tool is/does...

The prep is the shits!!

At work, Gary has to cut holes in sheet metal and has to use a de-burring hook to remove the sharp edges of the cutout. He always catches someone with their guard down and ask to borrow their heater. Gary works inside in a warm clean building, so it’s an odd request.

Their head tilts sideways like a confused dog, and they say puzzled “Heater?”.

Gary replies, “Yeah, your de-BUrRRrRR-ing tool” as he crosses his arms and shivers.

My sister and I were cleaning our basement to prepare for a party. Half of it is the entertainment center, and the other half is open space. Our dad tends to use it as a workshop when we're not hosting parties.

As we're putting away tools and sweeping up, my sister calls out, "Hey, I found the heavy metal." I thought she meant my CDs.

When I turned around, she was holding a 2"x6" rectangle of metal. And it was heavy.

And I groaned super hard.