Why did only one letter of the alphabet get a Christmas present?
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︎ Dec 25 2020
Mariah Carey is opening her Christmas present
And inside she finds a deed to an undeveloped plot of land that is zoned residential. Disappointed, she sets the deed down and says, "I don't want a lot for Christmas!"
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︎ Dec 01 2020
Why don't trees get Christmas presents from Santa?
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︎ Dec 29 2020
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
π︎ 31
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︎ Dec 17 2020
Who brings a linguist their Christmas presents?
π︎ 17
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︎ Jan 06 2021
What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum, you just canβt beat it!
π︎ 23
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︎ Dec 25 2020
It's Christmas day. Mariah Carey is opening presents around the tree with friends and family. She opens an envelope with a gift, the deed to a piece of residential land.
With a frown, she says "I don't want a lot for Christmas".
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︎ Nov 23 2020
Whatβs a Christmas presentβs favorite sport?
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 05 2020
Which musician gives the nicest Christmas presents?
π︎ 38
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︎ Sep 16 2020
I saw my son snooping around where we've hidden his christmas presents
And he found out he got coat
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︎ Aug 07 2020
Christmas Present
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︎ Dec 16 2019
Ironman's favorite Christmas present this year were rockets he can fire from his feet.
He calls them missile toes.
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︎ Dec 22 2019
What's the best Christmas present money can buy?
A broken drum.
You just can't beat it.
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︎ Nov 27 2019
My favourite Christmas present this year was a broken drum.
You just can't beat something like that.
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︎ Dec 25 2019
Wait, looks like the Christmas presents are singing...
Oh, they're covered in rapping paper.
π︎ 7
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︎ Feb 29 2020
My son was surprised when the present I got my wife for Christmas wasn't an instrument
...I told him I was giving her an upright organ
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︎ Dec 30 2019
Christmas is the present holiday.
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 24 2019
What do you call the terms and conditions on a Christmas present
π︎ 38
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︎ Nov 23 2019
Last year, my wife was so angry that I forgot to buy her a Christmas present, but that's not happening this time, because I bought her present two months ago! It's all wrapped up, sitting under the tree, waiting for her on Christmas Day!!
She's going to love these flowers!
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︎ Dec 22 2019
My mom just called me Eminem because my Christmas presents were so beautiful...
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︎ Dec 23 2018
What type of underwear makes a good Christmas present for your grandparents? Boxers? Briefs? Whitey tighties?
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 12 2019
A guy buys his friend a very rare type of thyme for a Christmas present
The friend sees it and says
"You shoudn't have got this. It's super rare and expensive. I'm probably going to use it for cooking anyway. It gives very nice flavor."
The guy responds
"Well if you're going to cook with it, better be now. There's no thyme like the present"
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︎ Jun 13 2019
You know, son, Christmas isn't about the presents and the decorations and stuff.
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︎ Aug 09 2019
My buddy just gave me glass cookware from Jamaica as a Christmas present.
It is Pyrex of the Caribbean.
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︎ Dec 14 2018
Christmas Present
My wife got me with this.
Me: You can do my Christmas shopping at a used bookstore.
Wife: I did, I ordered it from Amazon it used to be a bookstore.
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︎ Dec 25 2018
Iβve decided Iβm not going to buy my mother-in-law a Christmas present this year.
She still refuses to plug-in the chair I bought for her last year.
π︎ 11
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︎ Nov 11 2018
Early Christmas present from my son
So we're putting up the Christmas tree, one of the pre-lit ones. For several years the tree and I have battled over getting all of the lights to work. As I hit the switch and groan in dismay as several strands don't come on, my son pops up with "Gee dad, looks like that tree has you stumped".
It's been several days and he's still laughing at his own joke.
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︎ Dec 11 2013
Why donβt strings get any presents for Christmas?
Because theyβre always on the knotty list.
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︎ Dec 17 2017
Buying all christmas presents in early december...
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︎ Dec 11 2017
Wife's Christmas present to me
Dad joke book.
"Customer:"why is the coffee so muddy?"
Server:"It was ground yesterday."
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︎ Dec 25 2017
Whatβs the absolute best Christmas present?
A broken drum β you canβt beat it!
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 25 2020
Whatβs a Christmas presentβs favorite music?
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 05 2020
Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present?
Because the rest of the letters were not-E.
π︎ 10k
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︎ Dec 24 2019
Whatβs the best Christmas present you could possibly get?
A broken drum... you canβt beat it
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 11 2020
Whatβs the best Christmas present you could possibly get?
A broken drum... you canβt beat it
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 10 2020
Whatβs the best Christmas present you could possibly get?
A broken drum... you canβt beat it
π︎ 303
π
︎ Apr 16 2019
Why is a broken drum the best Christmas present ever?
You just canβt beat it.
π︎ 13
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︎ Dec 26 2019
Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present?
Because the rest of the letters were
not-E.
π︎ 12
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︎ Dec 25 2019
What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum. You just can't beat it.
π︎ 31
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︎ Dec 25 2019
Just thought of the ultimate Christmas present...
... a broken drum, you can't beat it.
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 17 2019
What is the best Christmas present ever?
A broken drum
.
.
.
.
.
Wait for it...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
You can't beat it!
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︎ Dec 21 2019
Who brings baby sharks their presents on Christmas?
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 25 2019
Christmas is the present holiday.
π︎ 109
π
︎ Dec 25 2018
Christmas is the present holiday.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 25 2018
What's the best Christmas present?
A broken drum. You just can't beat it.
π︎ 16
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︎ Dec 20 2017
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