Did you hear about the two British guys who had their butts removed?
They were a pair of assless chaps.
I use to know a carpenter that accidentally sat on a table saw.
It's a shame. He use to do really good work, now everything he does is half assed.
If someone is burnt and needs a skin graft, can I donate the skin tissue on my butt?
Ass skin for a friend
My favorite toilet paper was discontinued. Nobody prepared me for how much of a pain in the ass it is to find a new favorite.
How can you tell when a joke is a Dad Joke?
When the punchline becomes apparent.
When you beat a team of assholes...
Does it mean you rectum?
Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
What do you call a sarcastic proctologist?
A smart ass doctor
What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek?
"If we stick together we can stop this shit!"
As a solider, my first instinct when I see trouble is to run to it, but my Sargent always tells me....
...that before I can run, I need to learn to March first.
Watching the women's 100M with my wife and son..
My wife comments, "She has a big butt for a runner." I follow with, "The short distance runners have bigger butts, the longer distance runners don't. They run their ass off."
