Son: What should we name our cat?

Me: Mandu

Son: Mandu?

Me: Cat Mandu

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shah0150
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Two cats had a race across a river. Their names were "One Two Three" and "Un Deux Trois". Which one came first?

"One Two Three" did cos "Un Deux Trois" cat sank.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ABisset
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m getting a deaf cat, need punny names

Title, thanks!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i-don-kno
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Aussie is the cat’s name
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/high_pH_bitch
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Since my cat is getting old, I'm gonna start calling him by a new name

GrandPAW

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kittycaviar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the name of the pirate's cat?

Garrrfield

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stgm_at
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
🚨︎ report
My sister has a cat named Queso. I told her she should get two more and name one of them Justin and the other Mergencies...
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrewsTravelers365
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
This is my big cat, Chairman...(his name is the pun)
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/katiekakeex
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Yes, my cat raps. His name?

Whiska Lifa

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/subdistinction
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
🚨︎ report
What would Joe Mauer’s name be if he was a cat?

Joe Meower

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sam_e5
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Thought you all would appreciate this. I have a 19yo old Cat name Scout.

I was playing a game with a friend on my PC and she started to get tangled in my cords underneath. I stopped and got her out and explained to my friend how she is going blind. And replies back with "so you mean to tell me she is no longer a scout?"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chumbawamba56
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Can anybody think of a cat/name pun?

So I'm making a game, and the main character is a cat - and I'm looking for a name for him It's quite a humerus game, so a punny name like "Pawline" Or something along those lines would be nice...

(I'm never using Pawline btw)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Catsaiah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you name a cat that stands on a remote?

Paws

                    (Repost from r/3amjokes)
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChingChongMan123
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Cat Woman's real name is...

...Catherine Woman.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2017
🚨︎ report
Discussing my parent's cats name with my dad...

We call him Kenjamin but his proper name is Kenjamin Benjamin. This was our text message exchange yesterday and thought it was worthy of sharing.

Dad: After watching the olympics I decided Kenjamin is Chinese.

Me: What? I need you to explain further.

Dad: Ken Xia Minh

Me: Oh my god...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sleia
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2016
🚨︎ report
We need help naming some murderous cats.

We recently discovered mice in our pantry. Everyone’s advice? Get a cat. Apparently they are stone cold killers.

We made some calls and learned from our vet that they had two cats that need to be rehomed. I agreed to take them sight unseen. I think it’s a boy and girl but I don’t actually know. We pick them up next week.

We want to instill the right spirit into our mercenaries by naming them after famous murderers, but want to lighten the mood with puns.

So far we have come up with Jeffrey Paw-er but we are certain our Reddit friends can do better. We need male and female options. I understand one cat is black and the other is a brown mix.

We need help coming up with names, anyone up for the challenge??

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sveil96
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I named my cat β€œPokΓ©mon”

Because he’s a Persian, and he likes to mew too.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
An American cat named β€˜One-Two-Three’ and a French cat named β€˜Une-Deux-Troi’ are in a swimming race. Why did the American cat win?

Because Une-Deux-Troi quatre cinq.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Duzervee
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Now days, people don't use the name Lance very often

In medieval times, people were named Lance a lot

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
If someone adopted a feral cat and named it Will, it would be Will Feral
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spicyundertones
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A Cat Named Hitler Screams at a Fridge, It's Because...
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SandySushi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to know a cat burglar named Carl.

Carl had this calling card of his. When he was nearly done burgling a house, he would put a brick inside the victim's washing machine, and switch it on. The washing machine would destroy itself, and the owners would know that the perpetrator could only be Carl.

Carl's number eventually came up, when he burgled a house with three savage guard dogs. They put an end to his burglary career.

I guess you could say, washing machines live longer with Carl gone.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I named our cat Brexit

It doesn't know if it want to stay or go out.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend named his cat Sir Fluffington the Third of the House of Purrsia...

it's quite the meowful.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smittyleafs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I named my cat "Thought"

Now when I feed him, I say "Food for Thought."

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jdaly693
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Need your help naming my cat!

Hi pun-masters!

I will share my life with a cat, starting Saturday! It’s a grey\white Maine coon male.

The thing is that I love puns, and when I saw the cat called « Sean Coonery », I thought it was adorable!

I’m not that good in finding right puns, and I was wondering if people wouldn’t mind helping me a little!

I live in Montreal, so it can be either English or French!

Thanks in advance!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djieff0
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2017
🚨︎ report
I named my big cat Dan because he likes small weed-like flowers

Dan de lion

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_otterinabox
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
🚨︎ report
We just got a munchkin cat named Ellipses...

...but we just call him "short paws".

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stalechips
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm naming my next cat

Sharp - Clawed Van Damme

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MariaTheCatus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2016
🚨︎ report
My gf's cat is named Spot...

so when we were searching the house and couldn't find him, I told her the house was spotless!

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HackettMan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2014
🚨︎ report
My 3 yrs old son told me he got a girlfriend

I asked him what's her name

Son: " Sophie "

Me: "Son,you can't be serious "

Son : "is it because she's older than me?"

Me : "No, it's because she's our cat"

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My email password has been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/420_esketit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I named our dog " Doggy"

But my wife won't let me name our Cat "Style" We are both missionaries and i just wanted to spice things up.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
[True story of Dad] The cat

I used to have a black cat named Big Guy. When I left for college, he stayed with my parents. One day I got a call from my mom and she mentioned he was missing. They hadn't seen him in a week. He was an indoor/outdoor cat and would occasionally disappear for a few days, but a whole week was unusual.

Anyway, I was bummed. I was set to visit the next week and was looking forward to seeing my cat.

I flew home and... it was weird. Now they had two cats! Both black. And Big Guy was back! But... why two cats now?

So here's the dad part. My mom started to really miss him. My dad saw this and went to the local shelters to see if anyone turned him in. He said, "After the 3rd one, I pretty much gave up."

So then my mom said, "So your father got another cat he thought looked "close enough" and tried to convince me it was Big Guy. I said, 'Have you lost it? This cat is a GIRL!'"

Then Big Guy came home.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Pun pet names.

Pets I want to have....

An otter name Harry Otter. A snake named Severus Snake. A tortoise named Voldetort. A chicken named Kylo Hen. A dog named Barkamedes. A deer named David Hasselhoof. A turkey named Green Gobbleen. A cat named Captain Ameowrica. A stork named Tony Stork. A pig named Peter Porker. A crocodile named Croctor Strange. A duck named Ducktor Doom. A squid named Abraham Inkin. A goose named Ryan Gooseling. A heron named Charlize Heron. A goat named Selena Goatmez An alpaca named Alpacachino. A carp name Leonardo Di’Carprio. A tuna named Tuna Turner. A horse named Neighlor Swift. A toad named Demi Lavatoad. A Rhino named Ryan Rhinolds. A swan named Swan Jovi. A Falcon named Jimmy Falcon. A ferret named Ferret Faucet. A rabbit named Hoptimus Prime. A cow named Moolissa McCarthy. A crow named Seth Crowgan. A fox named Charlie Fox. A cat named Katy Purry. A wolf named Howly Berry. A hamster named Scarlet Johamster. A parrot named Squakin Phoenix. A duck named DuckleBerry Finn. A canary named Jim Canary. A swarm of bees, all named BeeyoncΓ©. A sheep named Meryl Sheep. An elk named Elkton John. A bear named Teddy Mercury. A ram named Gordon RAMsey. A shark named Fin Diesel. A jellyfish named Jelly Clarkson. An Iguana named Eddie Lizard. A hyena named Hyena Bonham Carter. A penguin named Robird Downey Jr.

a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clixer712
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

β€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, β€˜The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

β€œI’ll call you later!”- β€œPlease don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

β€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: β€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”

β€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, β€˜No, just leave it in the carton!’”

I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: β€œWow, that’s coincidental.”

I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.

β€œMe: β€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: β€˜Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”

β€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

β€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it

β€œWhat’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: β€œDon’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: β€œNo, it’s a math problem.”

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weeb123xD
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Story time!

A baker and his wife had a child. A lovely, healthy boy. Since the wife was mad about history, she wanted to give the boy a name suitable for a man destined for great things. Jokes were made, names proposed, but in the end the decision was made - they named the boy Attila.

Attila showed great potential from an early age - he excelled at sports, grew strong, but his other capabilities were astonishing as well. He learned and went through encyclopedias like a fire through forests. Surely enough, he was bound to become a great man some day.

Apart from being an exceptional young man, he loved animals as well. He was kind and compassionate, equally cherishing all forms of life. Since his parents loved him so much, they bought him all he ever wanted - but he did not ask for much, he was never greedy.

Growing up, he has received many animals as pets - there were cats, dogs, hamsters and even exotic animals - tarantulas, snakes, scorpions, you name it.

Their home became a sort of an animal sanctuary, and Attila took care of all animals with love and passion. But, the family business was starting to suffer when his father the baker got ill.

Being the amazing young man he was, Attila stepped up and started learning secrets of the trade - he started baking like no one else.

But, since he devoted his time to the bakery, the animals were starting to be neglected. He tried feeding them, petting them, but nothing helped.

Slowly, one by one the animals passed away leaving behind only the most resistant ones - the snake and a few spiders.

The spiders were easy to take care of, but the snake wouldn't eat, no matter what. Saddened, Attila came to his mother and asked for advice as he was all out of ideas. Of course, being the caring mother she always was, she passed on her knowledge to Attila:

"This anaconda don't want none, unless you got buns, Hun."

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeviantClam
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2016
🚨︎ report
Two cats swam across the English channel. One cat was named "One Two Three", the other "Un Deux Trois".

The "One Two Three" cat made it, but the "Un Deux Trois" cat sank.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Se7enineteen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2017
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Two cats are racing in the water

One cat was named "One Two Three", the other cat was named "Un Deux Trois". Which cat won?

One Two Three, because Un Deux Trois cat sank.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ComputerChaosKid
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
🚨︎ report

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