They were really sour about it
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had avocados."
My 15yr old son picked up the first bag, which had a long vegetable sticking out and said "I've found the leek, dad."
Proud dad moment.
Dad: “No, thanks. The carton is fine”.
A man walks up to a cash register to pay and while his items are being scanned, the cashiers says if he wants the cartons of milk in a bag. The man replies with "No, leave the milk in the carton."
When asked why, he said, “The doctor told me I don’t need glasses.”
How dairy?!
"Dad, what does pasteurised mean?"
Dad picks up milk carton.
"Well this is milk,"
He slowly moves the carton past my sisters face.
"...and now it's past-your-eyes-'d milk"
But never says for how long.
“We use 3 cans of water to distract it.”
“What?”
“Ya it should lose focus soon enough.”
the eye rolls from my partner were fantastic.
This happened tonight. We were talking about “concentrate” because they read me silly jokes from their school milk cartons like “why does X stare at the can of OJ? Because it says ‘concentrate’.” So we were talking about what the word meant.
Dad: That's okay, just leave it in the carton.
Every time at the grocery they ask my dad if he wants his milk put in a bag. He responds with "no, I think it will be fine in the carton."
A milk dud.
And waved it around his head, saying "What's this?"
We all looked at him confused, until he said:
"It's past-your-eyes milk!"
They grow a moostache
(thank you milk carton at an elementary school)
He said it every time, and now I do it when my kids are shopping with me.
I told her no thanks please leave it in the carton
He says, "no, just keep it in the carton, thanks"
He always gets strange looks and that awkward chuckle from everyone around him afterwards
He would reply, “No, just leave it in the carton”
He needed a balanced meal
Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.
Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
“Every time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, ‘The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
“I’ll call you later!”- “Please don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”
Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!
What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.
“My dad literally told me this one last week: ‘Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”
“Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, ‘No, just leave it in the carton!’”
I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.
If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: “Wow, that’s coincidental.”
I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.
“Me: ‘Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: ‘Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”
“I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there
A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
“How can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”
Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it
“What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”
The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.
I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: “Don’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: “No, it’s a math problem.”
I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.
I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
... keep reading on reddit ➡How dairy!?!
Me: No thank you. You can just leave it in the carton.
How dairy
WTF, HOW DAIRY
How dairy.
I'm like "How dairy?"
WTF how dairy
"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and, if they have avocados, get six." A short time later, the husband returns with six cartons of milk. "Why did you buy six cartons of milk?" the wife asks. He replies, "They had avocados!"
I said "No thanks, just leave it in the carton."
I told him he could just leave it in the carton.
Then it's only a carton.
No thanks. You can just leave it in the carton.
I just said that at the grocery store and now my wife hates me.
"No, just leave it in the carton!"
"No, just leave it in the carton!"
"No, just leave it in the carton!"
