A list of puns related to "Carried Me"
I told her it was a long story.
"They become brain-dad!"
He asked me to give him one, so I gave him my electric bill.
Because they don't make a .46!
I told him it's a long story
but when I go to parties, I make sure to bring Extra
Now that I’m an adult, I realize it was just a ferry tale.
hot dog cart: I'm sorry we're out of buns but you can still have the hot dogs
Me: "No thanks. My Anaconda don't want none, unless you got buns hun"
but then it clicked.
Because they don't have pockets.
It’s my jingle bell rock.
It's my social insecurity card
Sadly, he lost his case.
but that's not the case.
When it’s a bag full of money, that’s how.
I said "It's a long story".
They never saw a lie they couldn't improve
As they both got home, the parrot started swearing at its new owner. Saying profanities and talking trash to its new owner!
The guy was obviously angry, but didn't know what to do about it. So he put the parrot in the fridge for 5 minutes. Surprisingly, when he opened the fridge after those 5 minutes, the parrot has changed behavior for the better.
"I'm sorry for all those bad things I've said to you. I realized I've made a huge mistake, and I hope you forgive me for that"
The guy is dumbfounded, but pleased with the parrot's attitude. He forgave the parrot, and as he started carrying the parrot to its home, the parrot asked:
"Tell me, what did that chicken there say to you?"
Caveman 2: "That depends on how fast you carry the club."
(Yes, I'm aware of the anachronisms.)
Now my robberies have gotten a lot more successful.
I told her to baguette.
I mean I would carry more but my hands were tide.
Now he’s a chili dog.
I can’t tell you how many times it’s saved my ass.
And I said jerry can
I quivered when she gave it to me!
"You'll slip and fall." She said.
I replied "Don't worry, the soil will keep me planted."
I said 'oh it's a long story'
Today my daughter (7) found a random plastic eyeball that fell off a toy in our yard. She carried it around with her all morning while she was playing different games. When it was time to clean up I noticed she was putting away all her toys except the eyeball.
I asked her: “Are you putting the eyeball away too or are you leaving it out?”
She replied: “leaving it out”
So I said: “Oh, so you can see what you’re doing?”
The stare… then huge eye roll. Then back to cleaning up.
I helped her finish putting away her toys and she came up behind me and pushed something against my back. I turned around and it was the eyeball.
She said: “Daddy, I’m keeping my eye on you!”
Proud moment. I hope she never gets tired of the dad humor!
The nerve of some people.
Just something to take the edge off.
Just so I can tell people that I have a Riesen for everything I do.
... I responded, "no thanks, I need to practice my powerlifting."
"thanks for the help" i said
"Don't mention it"he said.
I was reading the relationships ask reddit thread and read some to my SO. I came across a comment saying
"Don't look for a girl you want to treat like a princess, look for a girl you want to treat like a partner.
Its very true. I don't mind carrying my SO, but I need to know she can carry me if I feel down."
She looked at me and said "can I carry you sometimes?"
And I said "of course you can, sometimes I don't like walking."
She glared at me and then proceeded to get off the bed.
One cold winter's morning he was walking along a country road, when he heard a cry for help from a nearby lake.
He turned to see a little girl struggling in the broken ice in the middle of the lake. She'd been skating and had fallen into the icy water. Without a moment's hesitation the tramp ran onto the ice and slipped and slided over to the little girl. He managed to pull her out without breaking the ice further and he carried her back to the road.
He took off his coat and wrapped the little girl in it and began looking for a car to flag down. A few moments later a huge chauffeur-driven limo pulled up, and who stepped out but the little girl's father - the mayor of the nearby town and a multi-millionaire.
"How can I ever thank you sir?" says the father after putting his daughterinto the warmth of the limo.
"Just name your price - I'm a wealthy man."
"Ahem, well ..." stammered the tramp "...eh I'm a little short of cash, perhaps you could help me out"
"Certainly" says the girl's father and he pulls out his wallet.
"Oh dear" says the father, "I don't carry much cash with me, I only have ten dollars - but come home with me and I'll get more from the safe"
"No! No!" says the tramp, "Why ten dollars is more money than I've seen in my whole life - that will be plenty".
"Well, if you insist" says the father - "now what will you do with your money?"
"Oh that's easy" says the tramp "I've not had a rest in 20 years. I think I'll buy myself a holiday"
"Well good luck" says the father, and he gets into the car and signals his chauffeur to drive home.
"Ten Dollars" thinks the tramp, "I'm rich! I'm rich!", and off he goes to the town, to buy himself a holiday.
He finds a travel agent, walks in - much to the disgust of the staff - and goes up to the desk.
"I'll have one holiday please!"
"Ahem, which holiday would sir like" asked the girl at the desk, forcing a smile.
"Oh, any holiday I don't mind" replied the tramp.
"Well how much money does sir have to spend on sir's holiday?"
"Oh lots - anything up to ten dollars"
"TEN DOLLARS!! You'll never get a holiday for ten dollars" says the girl incredulously.
"Oh dear" said the tramp, "and I was so looking forward to a holiday - I'll probably never get another chance - isn't there anything you can do?"
"Well I don't think so sir, but hold on and I'll check"
The girl goes into the back of the shop, and searches in the deepest, dustiest filing drawers she can find. There - to her amazement -
... keep reading on reddit ➡then it clicked.
I call it my jingle bell rock
I call it my jingle bell rock.
It is my jingle bell rock.
I call it my jingle bell rock.
At first I was confused about why they wanted me to carry a Geiger counter at work, but then it clicked.
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