If you are on a hike in Canada, you need to spot at least two grizzlies before calling the authorities.
Did you hear about the new high school math competition they're calling "extreme "fractioning"?
STOP 👏 calling yourself a communist if you aren't Russian!
It's Karltural appropriation
Well I'm not calling you a truther
"hello, thank you for calling Hannibal's..."
My wife told me, “Don’t stress out if people keep calling you fat...”
..”You are much bigger than that.”
What do you calling it when your in milk up to you're eybrows
Pasteurize (past your eyes)
An edible pale green seed of an Asian tree is very very angry with you for calling him a nut.
Thanks for calling the predatory animal lifting agency. We’ll be with you in a minute...
“I told you Doc!! I’ve got fatigue and my heart keeps skipping a beat! Why do you keep calling me a liar??
Doctor: “Sir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”
Sorry, It’s not a good hearted joke.
*Tells 3-4 dad jokes. Follows up with:* You can just start calling me butter... cause I’m on a roll!!
Did you hear what Aerosmith is calling their new restaurant chain?
Calling asleep you say?
I was just texting my girlfriend and I was telling her I didn't want to fall asleep on her just yet. (Long distance Relationship).
Her: "And it's ok if you call asleep."
Me: "I'm not sure if I can call asleep. They are never awake!"
She wasn't amused.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean?
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
What do you call someone who tells dad jokes but isn't a dad?
What do you call an anti-vax nannie?
What do you call a tiny mother
What do you call the cross between a cow and a whale?
Beef whaleington.
Thought of this one last night
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on a doorstep?
What do you call a Police offer in bed?
What do you call a a cow with no legs
What do you call it when Muhammad Ali farts?
What do you call a blood sucking tax specialist?
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?
A barberqueue.
But if they’re walking backwards they’re a receding hair line.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
You can call him what you like but he won't come running
What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
What do you call a hippie's wife?
What do you call a Spanish cow that's really hot
What do you call samurai who is running away?
Ronin. (Yeah, sorry i am new to this..)
What do you call a boat for couples...
What do you call a one-legged hippo?
What do you call a dinosaur traffic jam?
What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?
What do you call it when a blonde does a mistake?
Playing minecraft with my son and this one just came to me: What do you call a baby axolotl?
What do you call a boat driven by super intelligent people
What do you call a man with no shins?
What do you call three trees standing together?
What do you call a crowd of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
What do you call a mutilated French military leader?
What do you call a chicken that tells jokes?
What do you call a three eyed tiger?
What do you call a pencil with a eraser at each end
What do you call poultry staring at a lettuce?
What do you call a mom who turns into a dad?
Transparent
(sorry it sucks, it's like 2:30 in the morning right now and I haven't slept)
(Edit: holy shit! I wasn't expecting this to get so many upvotes. Also thanks for the awards guys, I really appreciate it!)
What do you call a helicopter with the mange?
What do you call your average ancient Greek?
What do you call the research and development in the berry industry?
What do you call a man who was sent to court for stealing quilts?
What do you call a Gladiator that just lost a fight?
What do you call an Italian linguist?
What do you call someone who is ignorant and apathetic?
I don't know, and I don't care...
What do you call a bathroom themed superhero?
What do you call an airplane full of bald people?
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a hole?
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean
What do you call a guy that isn't a dad but tells dad jokes?
What do you call a man with no shins?
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