What's it called when hyperactive grandma's buy flat screen TVs?

80HD

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MF62SW
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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What do you call an iphone whose screen came off ?

Detached retina

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zucc_the_lizard
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
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Each year 100 million birds die in the US by crashing into Windows...

I guess you could call them Blue Screens of Death.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EarthC-137
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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Friend's dad... Instead of the Hellman's in a lake...

http://i.imgur.com/kekwP1L.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 757
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πŸ‘€︎ u/messenger_boy
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2015
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A good friend of mine, who is a father, sent me an original joke of his creation today, an I wanted to share it because it was pretty good

He's someone who has been very creative in his ways when he delivers his jokes to his victims, I'm a bit ashamed I didn't see this one coming

He called me on the phone, saying he needed help with doing something, sounding fairly serious on phone. He said "soljakwinever I need your help with something on amazon. I keep searching for lighters and it's not working right. Can you open it on your phone for me" Recently he's been asking me for help with some computer stuff, I built it for him lately and it's got nothing problems, blue screens over stuff, he's very smart but I wouldn't say he's anywhere near 'tech-literate'. But his is getting issues like I've never seen. So I assumed he needed help with something like that. I answered "Sure Bryan. Let my just open the app." Pulling Amazon up on my phone. "So what did you need help with? Something about lighters" I ask. He replies still sounding serious "I keep searching for lighters and the app keeps showing me matches. Can you try it and see if that happens to me too." I type 'Lighter' into the search bar, submit the search and looking at my results, seeing product listings for lighters. "Looks normal to me. I'm seeing nothing but lighters" He responds starting to crack "Yeah! Nothing but matches!"

I got played.

EDIT: Wording fix

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πŸ‘€︎ u/soljakwinever
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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Rocked this one while waiting for number to be called at DMV

Son's taking permit test today and while waiting to be called we watched some "interesting" facts they put on the tv screen.

Son points out, hey dad look Nevada's official state rock is Sandstone.

Me: I feel they could have made a boulder choice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SFAQL
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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Finally fixed my computer monitor

Guess you could call it a screen resolution.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zortor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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Color Pun Riddles

Q: What do you do if a piece of purple fruit gets stuck in the drain and clogs it?

A: Call the plumber.


Q: What do you do if you live in a purple house and the lights go out?

A: Go to the fuchsia box.


Q: What do you do with unruly green kids?

A: Make them do limeout.


Q: Why did the purple family have to move out?

A: They were plum too loud, excessively violet with one another, and were fuschiatives of the law.


(I've posted these on various places on the web outside of Reddit over the years under various screen names.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2018
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Dadjokes at work

We had a large shipment of LED screens arrive at work today. They were all stacked up near a colleague's desk, let's call him Jim.
I approached my boss and asked "Is Jim in trouble?"
My boss looks at me, puzzled "No?"
"Then why's he been so heavily monitored!"

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2015
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My 9 year old just dad joked me

We are watching football and they just kicked an extra point. He says to me that it would be pretty cool if the net wasnt there and it hit the screen behind it... i told him that it wouldnt be very cool... and he came back with "i would call it a screen shot"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CDub3k
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2016
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My hands were wet

I was washing dishes and my phone rings. I pull out my phone, and I know the touch screen doesn't work well with wet fingers, so I held the phone to my face and slid my nose across the screen to answer the call. I finish the conversation and press "end call" with my nose. I look up and my dad is looking at me. I ask "impressed?" And my dad replies "well now i know my son nose how to answer the phone while washing dishes"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Philthyweldz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2014
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